Post # 1
I would like to know how everyone deal with negative comments or opinions about your wedding?
Here is my little situation:
I am a pretty simple sort of person. I don’t own label clothing and I don’t like a lot of fuss.
So, when I started dress shopping (so far alone), I always envisioned a plain a-line skirt. I have also always disliked my body and thought I was big because most of my girlfriends are under 5 foot and under 45kgs.
Anyway, now that I have started dress shopping I have actually noticed that whilst the a-line designs are lovely, they do not actually look as good as the mermaid, fitted style. When the dress is done up properly I actually look nice and thin, and not like a massive overweight cow.
Out of the 14 gowns I have tried on…2 of them have been ruffled…much bigger and fluffier and out there than I would have imagined I would have liked.
They have been the only 2 gowns that have really got me quite emotional.
So I sent the photo of the dress on the internet, to my 2 bridesmaids and 1 moh, and they all replied saying that the ruffles will date and that it isn’t flattering.
Whilst, I appropriate their comments and I want them to be honest, I am now battling with whether or not to even consider those gowns.
So after all that my question is HOW TO BLOCK IT OUT? How do you ignore the unwanted comments (even when you ask) and how to stop caring so much about what OTHERS like or want.
Post # 3
I have been having alot of people not liking my ideas and the thing I keep having to tell myself Its my wedding not theirs and they dont have to like everything. As long as I like it that is what really matters!
Post # 4
People are going to have something to say. That will never end. I get by by saying that it’s ultimately what I (sometimes we) want. I’m open to opinions, when I request them, but they don’t change how I feel. Sometimes the tone people take make me forget about their opinion since they aren’t totally sincere.
I do think ruffles will date, I’m more than sure of it. Howver, I bought a dress with ruffles. I love it. So its clearly flattering. If my friends don’t thats ok, I’m fine with it since they don’t have to wear it. Don’t let anyone else interfere with your happiness.
Post # 5
I just stopped sharing the details that I felt most sensitive about, like my dress and hair. No one on your wedding day is going to tell you that they don’t like your dress, but they sure as hell will if asked for an opinion beforehand.
In your situation, I say give it a few days and then go back to the store and try on the dresses you love again and see if they still make you feel so fantastic. This is about how you feel. Then go with your gut and don’t tell the girls what you’ve chosen.
Also, if you want some unbiased opinions, post pics on weddingbee and we’ll vote for you and give you encouragement.
Post # 6
@topicyang: I would just remind myself that they haven’t even seen you in the gowns and that their opinions are just to help guide your decision, not to make it for you. I don’t think they are trying to be mean to you – just offering honest opinions. Do you care about your dress feeling ‘dated’? I really don’t see why you should. Everyone’s dress and look can be ‘dated’ pretty easily. That doesn’t mean it’s not lovely.
A Practical Wedding posts vintage weddings all the time: http://apracticalwedding.com/tag/vintage-weddings/ It’s pretty easy to date each one, but they still all look very sweet and pretty and what’s better, their individual styles are still visible. That’s why you should ultimately choose what you like best – critics be hanged!
Post # 7
Dress shopping was tough for me too because I brought my Maid/Matron of Honor, my mom and my Future Mother-In-Law. My Maid/Matron of Honor and mom were great, told me the truth and I took it all into consideration because they were nice about what they said and were not pushy. Future Mother-In-Law, that is another story. She would tell the lady to go pick out dresses I didn’t even want to try on and that I would never take off a rack to look at. She was bossy, and it was quite annoying.
In the end I found the dress that I love, it was not everyone else’s first pic, but in the end after I wore it around for a while in the store, they thought it looked lovely. I think people need to sit and look at it for awhile before seeing you in it for a minute and telling you it looks bad…
Post # 8
I’ve learned that if I already know i want/like something, not to ask others their thoughts.
Post # 9
@mzlouis2b: Ha ha. I agree completely!
Post # 10
You can’t ask for opinions and then be upset by their honesty. At the end of the day the only one who needs to be happy with it is YOU. Everyone isn’t going to fall over themselves and like something because you have your heart set on it. I personally only have two people that will probably see my dress and their opinions of it are really not going to budge my decision. I know what looks good on me and what I’m comfortable with. Oh and since I’m paying for it I couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks. If you don’t seek approval or affirmation, then you won’t be be disppointed.
Post # 11
You know the saying, “opinions are like A$%holes, ever body has one.” And we all know that more often than not those opinions aren’t nice.
I was bombarded with so many opinions that I finally decided to try it one more time alone and ended up buying a dress without asking anyone.
In the end it only matters how YOU feel. If you feel sexy, amazing, gorgeous, spectacular etc etc in the dress then it is the one for you. If you aunt/sister/bf doesn’t like it that is a good thing because she doesn’t have the pleasure of wearing it.
Post # 12
People have all kinds of opinions about dresses when you’re trying them on, but when you’re walking down the aisle rocking the dress and full of confidence, all anyone will be saying is how great you look.
Post # 13
Just because you ask their opinion, perhaps just to be nice and keep them in the loop, doesn’t mean you have to listen to it.
As in all things in life, when you get an opinion you disagree with, you can just say “You have a point” or ” That’s another way of looking at it”. You don’t have to agree with them, you are just acknowledging what they have said.
As far as ruffles etc dating. ALL STYLES DATE EVENTUALLY!!!! There aren’t very many brides wearing their mothers’ wedding dresses anymore for one good reason-the styles are outdated. That should never be a consideration in deciding on your wedding dress. You should pick something you love, that looks good on you and fits within your budget.
Post # 14
You just have to accept that everyone has different taste but its your day and what you want goes. I recently had one of the groomsmen tell me that he thought my choice of first dance song was weird and awkward. We danced a Vienese Waltz to “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls. I had many more compliments on it and my DJ even said he loved my choice but seeing as how this was a close friend of ours it hurt and made me question my choice. But then I said screw it, it was exactly what I wanted and I thought it was perfect. People are always going to have opinions and other peoples weddings are a favorite topic to criticize unfortunately, but just worry about making yourself happy.