TO @babecake: Re – Reply # 8
I think part of the mix-up here is language.
In North America, the nibbles served before the Main are called Appetizers.
They can be served seated or standing (ala Cocktail Hour) in which case they may be called Hors d’Ouevres… even if they aren’t fussy… or just Appetizers / Appys
The Primary Dish / Plate is called the Main in some places, and Entree in others (what it is called has a lot to do with the formality of the meal, or the approximation to the French Language… in Canada the Entree is the appetizer portion of the meal)
Lol.. ya it can be quite confusing over here !!
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TO @Aussiemum: thanks for the UPDATE (Reply # 9)
Sounds like you talked to them…
Well it is certainly an Unusual Request… “Sure we are coming, but have to leave in the middle of Dinner” (some might even say downright RUDE, inlight of the fact that it is only to watch Football vs celebrate a Family Member’s Marriage)
Beyond the money & numbers aspect… there is also the disruption it will cause to the flow of events and other Guests enjoyment of the evening.
If the appys are being served sit-down… then ya know, I’d just tell them…
“Thanks for the heads-up, sadly we can’t accommodate that request at the Reception Dinner… we are sorry you’ll miss it. But we hope to see you at the Ceremony all the same”
And leave it at that. Stand firm if you have to… if they get really brassy about “WHY NOT”… or want their meal to go… (“Sorry no can do”)
If they come to the Ceremony great… if not so be it.
On your side of the fence, there should be no hard feelings (or retaliation at their Wedding)… just chalk it up to Football was more important to them on that particular day … you can’t pick family members unfortunately…
BUT you can tell them POLITELY that their behaviour is unacceptable / cannot be accommodated in the way I’ve described above.