Post # 32
Thanks Bees for your comments and suggestions. As the MOB (and the cheque bearer), my voice is limited, but I wanted to hear your opionions and I must say you all generally agree with me that this is just unheard of.
As @JaneyDcat: suggested, enrolling the Future Mother-In-Law in this instance is not an option because she is really not a strong person, in fact the Aunt is the dominant one in the family, so everyone is a bit scared of starting a major family war just before the two weddings.
This is what the my daughter’s Fiance has decided. They will attend the first wedding, behave appropriately and leave an an appropriate time, eg after speeches, first dance etc, but not stay around too late.
At my daughter’s wedding, he has decided to place the whole family on one table, right at the back of the room, so when they have to leave at 7pm, they have to walk past the rest of his family and will have to explain why they are leaving early. He believes this way, no one will blame him for starting a family argument before the 2 weddings, and after his wedding, this part of the family will have some major explaining to do to the grandparents et al.
We are stuck already paying for them, it is a small wedding and we are committed to 60 adults whether they turn up or not. The children are extra.
I really thought we were going to sail through this whole wedding process without a drama. Everything has been such a delight to plan and organise. Oh well, as they say…. God only gives us problems that he knows we can handle, even if we don’t realise at the time that we have the strength.
Cheers to all of you wonderful Bees.
Post # 33
That just shocked me to read that!!!! I wouldn’t invite them at all. That’s discusting!!!!!
my aunts etc all left my cousins wedding last Saturday really early and we found out they went to the casino instead. I was horrified to hear that because I have invited them to mine and now I wish I hadn’t.
Its sooooo rude when your givin their place to them and not someone else and paying for everything.
Post # 34
I think the way your daughter decided to handle the situation clearly proved she took the high road. It would be easy to have started a family drama or to have made a scene about it, but you look like the better people by accepting their request and letting them leave early, as well as attending their daughters wedding with a smile! 🙂 Hope the football game is worth it!
Post # 35
@Courtkev: I will give all of you an update after the wedding. Just give me a week to recover before I get back on the Bee.
All RSVPs are in now, name cards have been made and the seating plan has been done. We have placeed these 6 rude people on a table of their own right at the back of the room as I reported earlier. We will advise the venue that once they leave, the table can be removed giving us extra space around the dance floor. We are almost there.
Post # 36
Atleast they are offering to come for part of it. My aunt is refusing to come and bring my nieces because they have a baton competition for a 10 year old.
I would be very offended.
Post # 37
Whaaaaat! I would call to clarify if they’re coming/when they’re leaving. No need to pay for food they won’t be eating!
Post # 38
I think thats the best way to deal with it! You will have been seen by the rest of the family to accomodate their blatent rudeness and all of your guests will definately have a few choice words to say to them…. my close family would rip them a new one if someone did that to me!
Post # 39
If they can’t stay for dinner then call and thank them for being able to attend the ceremony. I wouldn’t save seats for them at the reception unless you have extra room.
Post # 40
@Aussiemum: wow! You are one poised and polite lady, especially considering you hold the purse strings. They are rude beyond belief, and I commend you for handling their attitude with grace. Sounds like you’ll have more fun without them there!
Post # 41
@Pollywog: I agree that this is the best way to go.
This totally sounds like DH’s uncle and his two sons – they are really his only extended family we actually see on a regular basis and that I know well, but they will totally decline an invite to an important event to sit at home and watch a football game. On our wedding ay there was an early game and the wedding wasn’t till four, so it worked out, but yeah I just don’t get it at all.