How active is your relationship on social media?

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
Post # 31
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

We are not active towards each other at all. Aside from posting a photo here or there and tagging him in it, that’s about the extent. I *might* post a wedding photo on our annivsary but other than that we don’t profess our love on social media. Darling Husband checks facebook but really never posts anything.

I totally admit that I side-eye people who post gushy over the top posts frequently. It just looks like they’re trying too hard and need to prove to people they are happy. 

Post # 32
Member
1886 posts
Buzzing bee

ashleyroo :  I know plenty of people who don’t have social media because they don’t want to deal with the kind of judgemental crap that woman just tried on you. She is gross for even mentioning it to you imo. 

I will say that social media does give people an impression of your relationship. There are many interpretations of it. I am very aware of it because of how it makes me see other peoples relatioships on there. For example, There are a few couples who are my age who have been together for quite some time and still haven’t gotten engaged. It is VERY obvious when those couples post lovey stuff but never seem to move forward with their relationship. Every time I would see another coupley post from them I would immediately think, what is up with them? Are they ever going to get engaged? Finally one did and I was like, oh FINALLY. Yes I know i am judging their status, but its hard to help wondering! If people are constantly posting couply stuff it does make you wonder what is going on in their lives, and its easy to see large holes in the perfect life they are projecting. It is also super annoying when a couple has one person who posts and tags the other person non stop and the other person in that relationship never reciprocates. That always makes me think the one posting is trying to claim that person or is more into it than the other half. Social media invites those kinds of assumptions. So if you don’t like it, don’t be on it. Which is perfectly fine! You don’t have to be on it, or can be and post however you like. For me, even though i have internal feelings about what I see on facebook, i would NEVER say it outloud to that couple. RUDE!! 

I post a few things on instagram but not a ton. I try to not post the typical stuff everyone else does. Like on Thanksgiving when everyone was posting photos of their boyfriends etc. and saying #grateful. I was rolling my eyes so hard. I didn’t post anything that day. The next day I posted something to my instagram story that was just a video of people gathering around spending time together. There are ways to post that don’t invite speculation or feel more genuine. 

Post # 33
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

Generally I don’t post very much on Facebook, and recently it’s mostly just been our engagement status update then some engagement pictures, but I post about once a month. That being said, my Facebook friends list consists mostly of our relatives who specifically ask to see more pictures, and if I’m posting at all, it’s probably to oblige them. Never sappy texts posts, or sappy captions.

My Instagram I use relatively often, but it’s mostly for travel and cat pics. 

Post # 34
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee

I posted a picture of us on 4th of July, but before that it had been 3 years since I posted one of our wedding photos. I’m not super active on social media but my marriage is great hahaha 

Post # 35
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I’m on fb, insta and twitter and do use them frequently but my husband uses no social media whatsoever and doesn’t usually want me to post pics because he mistrusts fb etc (which is sensible, I think). I did post wedding pics with his permission and I occasionally mention him in my posts. But apart from the wedding pics, there isn’t a single pic of us online. 

Post # 36
Member
6841 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

My FB is just a bunch of pictures of my cat 🤷‍♀️

I rarely post pics of my husband and I. And no pictures of our son at all. My husband technically has a FB account but his last post was thanking everyone for coming out to celebrate his 34th birthday…he’s turning 39 this February.

Post # 37
Member
7749 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

That’s ridiculous. Honestly, I worry a lot more about the relationship of couples who feel compelled to document their every move on social media than those who are barely active.

Dh only uses social media for work purposes. I think in our four years together, he’s made maybe one reference to me on social media lol. We didn’t even “declare” a relationship until after we were married. I’m a slightly more active – like I posted some wedding photos and recently a Thanksgiving family photo after our daughter was born a couple weeks ago, but that’s it. We never announced my pregnancy on social media or made any mention of our daughter until she was here. Now that she is, I don’t really feel a strong urge to post photos of her either other than that one Thanksgivinng pic. We have a private family album going on iphoto that our nearest and dearest can view, and that’s enough for us.

Post # 38
Member
2886 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

ashleyroo :  I’ll post stuff to my IG story occasionally, but I very rarely post actual photos to my profile and I’m pretty much non existent on FB. 

If you went strictly off of my social media, you’d probably think that I don’t even have a husband and zero social life which is the complete opposite of reality. 

I know a few couples who constantly post things about each other on social media and they’re all headed for divorce…

Post # 39
Member
6917 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I use social media a fair amount, but almost none of it is “relationship related”. It’s mostly dogs and random stuff lol. So people probably think we’re on the rocks too! 

TBH I usually feel like the people that broadcast their relationship are very insecure. I know one of my friends would be at her wits end with her husband, texting me about how she’s so unhappy, and then the next day he makes dinner and shes posting #besthusband #blessed etc etc. It just seems really fake. 

Post # 40
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Just one of so many reasons why I hate social media hahaha. I agree that the couples who post all this lovey dovey crap about their relationships are either 1) showing off because they love the attention, or 2) overcompensating for problems in the relationship. At least when it comes to the couples I know. I hate social media, I think it allows people to totally misrepresent their lives, which makes others feel bad for why everyone else’s life is so “perfect” and theirs is not. There are even studies linking depression to social media use. Ugh, I hate it! Haha 

Post # 41
Member
2072 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

No sign of a relationship on social media is a good sign.  You’re not trying to sell your relationship to anyone and you’ve comfortable in your relationship. 

We post photos of us doing stuff occasionally but usually it’s me just sending  him funny bunny photos. 

Post # 42
Member
4998 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Pretty non existent lol. And we both prefer it that way. Both profiles say ‘married’ but no tagging eachother or pics. But when our friends or family tag us in pics or posted our wedding pics, baby news, etc i dont mind at all. Its just not something that i would personally do on my page..

Post # 43
Member
81 posts
Worker bee

My husband’s only social media presence is the pictures he posts of food he grills. I suspect our friends think he will divorce me for a hamburger!

Post # 44
Member
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Practically non-existent.

SO and I both have instagram and FB accounts but he doesn’t use either (other than to follow his favorite pro-athletes) and I post sparingly and typically about my dog 😀

I think the last couple-y photo was posted at my wedding a few years ago. Even of the travel photos I post I can’t think of any shots of us together? 

Now if a relationship was very vocal/public about their relationship on social media and then it stops quite suddently, that makes me wonder if everything is OK. But an always-quiet couple still being quiet? I would just assume that they’re living their life off of social media 🙂

Seems very weird to me that she asked you! I feel like it’s totally normal now a days of people to be pretty inactive on social media as the pendulum has started to shift back to center after the extreme use of it earlier on.

Post # 45
Member
888 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

We post on birthdays and anniversaries and holidays. We are certainly not as active as other members of our family who post daily or weekly. 

Not being active on social media at all is not a red flag to me. However, when someone is otherwise active on social media but does not mention their significant other, that’s alarming. If you care enough to be active online, you should be posting pictures and updates about your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner. 

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