(Closed) How am I supposed to keep believing in love??

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 32
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

OH gosh, girl, I had my whole life planned out. I was going to get married at 23 (at the latest), start having kids by 25 and be settled into our 4 bedroom home with 2 kids at 30, a boy and a girl if you have to know. Yeah.. that didn’t happen.

I met my Darling Husband when we were 22, but we didn’t start dating until 26. You never know, someone from your past might come back into your life and it might be the right time for both of you now. And of course 27 is NOT old, I wasn’t married until 28 and I have a lot of single friends my same age. My sister met her Darling Husband when she was 27.

Defintiely focus on meeting the right person instead of it being the ‘right time’ for you. The saying “There are a lot of fish in the sea” is corny, but totally true. You could meet your soul mate on your way home from work today. You never know! And as long as you want it and are willing to accept it, there is always room and hope for love at any age.

Post # 33
Member
1331 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

These are some amazing stories of love, hope, and encouragement, and I really enjoyed reading through them.  I wanted to curl up in a ball and die after my last break-up, and it really took a lot to not plunge into true depression.  I learned so much about myself from my previous relationships and also about what I truly want and deserve in a man.  Finally, thank God, I have found the one, but it took awhile, lol (I’ll be 35 next month). 

P.S.  You could always play Journey’s awesome “Don’t Stop Believin'” every night when you go to bed….it’s bound to work subliminally!!!!! Wink

Post # 34
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

first thing’s first…i’m AWFUL at not reading everyone else’s replies…sorry! lol

But I just wanted to reply too. Yes it does suck. I’m not going to sugar coat it for you. BUT the awesome thing is – once you DO find that person who IS worth spending the rest of your life with, you’ll love and appreciate that person just so much more!

I was 27 when I met my husband (i’m 31 now) – and I kept thinking I’d NEVER find the right person – honestly, until I met my husband – I never even HAD the true “relationship” with anyone…yeah I was with a boy in high school for 6 months – but “technically” since then I’d never had a real “boyfriend”….I dated – I got my heart broken like you wouldn’t believe – but I also thought I was doomed to NEVER be with anyone!

A year before my hubby and I met, I was with a guy for 2 months – he absolutely destroyed my heart because I fell so hard and SO fast thinking he was the “one” then after 2 months he left me for a drug addiction – and I cried for 6 months! I wasn’t even with him for 2! lol. (yeah, NOW i can look back and laugh!)

But then I met my husband – who, btw, had never been married, no kids and is 6 years older than me! He was 33 when we met – and yet his brother, 5 years older than him – had been married 6 times!!

So – technically at our wedding – he was 37 and I was 30, 2 months shy of being 31. (yes, we were legally wed a year earlier, long story, lol).

But anyways – the awesome thing is – I never take one single day for granted being with him. we’ve been together for 4 years now – married for a year and a half – and every. single. day i think God for bringining him into my life because I remember that hopeless feeling you are feeling now.

I have a friend (whom I’ve never met in real life) that I’ve spoken with on the ‘net for almost 6 years. She is in her 40’s and is CONSTANTLY trying to find “the one” and is always getting let down because it seems like she just can’t find “him”…I want to tell her – and yes, I realize I don’t know anything about you or your situation – but maybe this applies to you as well – that honestly, you MUST learn to love yourself and come to terms with being OK that it might just be “you” for a while (not forever, but for a while) and learn to live by yourself without constantly looking for your partner. One thing I absolutely DESPISED people telling me when I was single is the whole “he will show up when you’re ‘not looking'” because yes, I was ALWAYS looking! lol

But – no joke – I finally got to the point where I couldn’t take the heart ache any more – and one night went out dancing with a girlfriend with the thought of honestly just having a good time and not caring if I danced with or met any guys…and in comes my husband.

I also made a promise with myself, that night, that if he really was truly interested – then HE’D have to make the effort to chase ME. And that’s a very hard thing to do – but at the end of that night, he asked for my number and I gave it to him. He asked if I wanted his, and I lied, saying I’d left my phone in the car (it was in my pocket)…yes the next week or so was torture, not knowing if he’d call – but he did – and, obviously, the rest – as they say – is history!

the whole “in the meantime” sucks. it does. I know – i’ve been there – but when you DO find him, you will be so thankful and appreciate it even more! Plus – honestly – I believe that all the crap I put up with in my 20’s not only makes me appreciate it more, but also makes me work harder at knowing how to act and what to do in order to keep a healthy marriage.

Good luck!!

 

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