(Closed) How am I supposed to react to this??

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Talk to her about it. Tell her that she already had her time to shine and ruined everything for your Fiance so he should get his time now. Ask HER to push HER wedding back. She already got married so what’s the big deal for her to wait a little longer to have a second one? You and your Fiance should be able to get married when you want without her being selfish. It shouldn’t be too much to ask seeing as she already had her day.

Post # 4
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Personally I wouldn’t change the date.  This is her Vow Renewal and his family need to tell her that her Vow Renewal will need to be after your wedding.  But if they won’t go for that, I would keep your date and tell eveyone you hope that they will come.  Why should you inconvenience your family and your friends due to his sister’s selfishness?

Post # 6
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

That’s as good a plan as any. If she is going to act like that and not care what she is doing to her brother then ignoring her is probably best. I was lucky in that respect. My Brother-In-Law and SIL were both already married and neither of my sisters were even really dating anyone so I didn’t have to wrestle with anyone over dates. Is she supposed to be in the wedding at all?

Post # 8
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@Liv25: Find a replacement for her in case she is a no-show. You still have time to get everything ready with someone else if need be. Talk to her about her role in your wedding. Tell her that if she can’t make it to let you know so you can replace her, especially if it’s an important role like a Bridesmaid or Best Man. You need to make sure your wedding is as close to perfect as possible and you don’t need the stress of her not showing up with no back up plan.

Post # 9
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

wait…she is having two weddings. Come on! Keep your date, that is stupid. You should say something like, “unmarried couples get first dibs on wedding dates.”

Post # 10
Member
7387 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I wouldn’t move a darn thing. She can’t trump you twice.

Post # 11
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Tell her it would make more sense to have her second wedding on the anniversary of her first otherwise people are going to get confused about when her anniversary is.

(OMG. His sister sounds like a fruit loop.)

Post # 12
Member
1527 posts
Bumble bee

That is ridiculous! It’s almost funny that she wants to drag her wedding out so much! I don’t understand why she can’t let you guys have your own spotlight. It would be entirely funny if she wasn’t being so rude about your wedding and acting like it’s not that important. It seems like she’s trying to get you guys to keep postponing it…maybe hoping you don’t get married. It seems like she has some serious issues. I would definitely keep your plans how they are. She doesn’t need an engagement party to begin with. It was her choice to rush into her wedding, she really shouldn’t get to do it over whenever she feels like. In a few years, sure, but that quickly? I’m sorry you have to deal with that. I would just act like you don’t notice she wasn’t there.

Post # 13
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

How ridiculous! If she wanted a big wedding where everyone could attend she should of waited, she sounds incredibly selfish and is obviously not considering others at all. Can your FI’s parents talk to her? They’ve gotta see how cray it is that she thinks her (ridiculous, unnecessary) vow renewal planning needs to come AFTER your actual wedding that you’ve patiently waited for.

I wouldn’t stress much though…if people can only travel for one wedding, I think it would be an obvious choice to come to the one that is an actual edding, not a do-over because she decided she was in a huge hurry and now changed her mind and wants a redo.

Post # 15
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I didnt know you could have a engagment party after you are married…..

But I agree with PP If I was a family member and had to choose I would choose yours due to the fact that you are GETTING MARRIED… 

Post # 16
Member
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@MsPanda: this was my thought!

I didn’t know you could have an engagement party after you are married…..

They’re not engaged anymore, they’re married….?

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