Post # 1
To all the long distance bees, how are you doing? I know it can be hard, so I thought it might be nice to have a little chat thread where we can talk about our LDRs. I’ll go first!
My SO and I are getting ready to extend our distance by three hours (we’re at two right now) and only getting to see each other every other weekend versus every weekend. I know we’re luckier than most, but it feels like the long distance is never going to end! We’ve been doing long distance for over half our relationship now, and there’s no definite end in sight. I’m going to start looking for jobs in his city (which happens to be my hometown) this fall, but I’m sad that I’m going to have to quit my job and worried I won’t find anything there I like as much. At this point I’d do anything to get out of being long distance, but it’s going to have to wait for at least six months.
How’s everyone else doing?
Post # 3
Hey! I like this idea!
My boyfriend just got into grad school in Tennessee so it looks like in August we’ll be extending our distance by like oh 5 hour flight or something (I haven’t actually gauged it…too depressed to see how far he’ll be from me).
That means that we’ll go from seeing each other once a month to maybe 6 or so times a year if we’re lucky.
The bright spot on the horizon is that our anniversary is Friday (3 years!! 2 of which have been long distance) and we’re going away for a whole week (for what we’ve termed ‘Romance week’) in a month to celebrate!
He visited me this weekend and I ended up stealing his jacket and sleeping with it last night. Miss that boy!!
Post # 4
I’m in a college LDR. My Fiance lives, works, and goes to school in New Jersey. I am in college 1100 miles away in Florida. I am lucky though – I get to live with him during the summer and school breaks! Exactly two weeks until I see him for the first time since Spring Break and we actually get to start really planning our wedding 🙂
Post # 5
I’m also 1000 miles away and my place is three hours away from an aiport with a direct flight. More than half of my relationship has beeon long distance and we meet once a month. I’m in grad school now and it will take at least 1.5 yr for me to graduate – this is a tough PhD program and I’ve seen people taking 10 yrs to finish while the average is 6-7 yrs. My ambition is to finish in 5.5 yrs so I need a huge luck to end this long distance in 1.5 yrs.
Yes, it is difficult, and I also had a terrible time once – he used to live 5 mins away before he moved for his job. It was just a too radical change. But I’d suggest to focus on what you have. I discover that LD has something fun that SD doesn’t have. I’m not saying that LD is better or even okay. It’s definitely worse. But because LD sucks, we should enjoy every single little fun in LD!
These are things that I find great fun you can get out of LD. We Skype every night at the same time, and we put a priority on it in scheduling our all other activities. I even Skyped every night while I was traveling Europe. We have a “date night” occasionally – dress up, set some mood and enjoy a special moment, sounds silly but it feels more special and it’s great. We started to play an online game once a week that is in two people cooperative mode, this makes us to feel doing something “together”. We send a little cute letters or packages without telling each other, which gives such a great fun.
6 months isn’t that long. Think as if you’re in a game to discover all hidden fun that’s in LD, and the game ends in 6 months. Think and act actively so that you’ll find a lot. When the LD is over, you’ll feel good about so many fun things your discovered and of course, 6 months will go by faster.
Let’s be strong, active and excited!
Post # 6
We’re doing well, especially because we’re so close to the LDR being over. He’s coming up in a few weeks and then not too long after that is our wedding and I’ll be moving in with him! I’m applying to jobs in his area now.
Post # 7
We’re going to be ending our LDR in less then one month after 3 years away from each other. I lived in Florida and he in DC. It wasn’t easy, but it made us stronger. I can’t wait to have him back. Most importantly was that it went by soooo quickly!
Post # 8
Terrible. 4.5 years long distance with no end in sight thanks to me being in a Ph.D. program on the west coast and him having a great job in Manhattan. I am usually okay but I’ve been getting a lot of questions from other people lately which has stressed me out.
Post # 9
We’re going alright. I think this thread is a lovely idea by the way! We’re not yet engaged but we’ve been talking about getting married over thanksgiving (my visa expires in December, so we have a timeframe…), and whenever I get lonely, it’s fun to start planning things and getting ideas.
I’m looking forward to spending two months with him over summer -starts in 3 weeks today!! And then we’ll be on the countdown, I’ll be moving to where he is by the end of December ( I finish grad school in fall).
Its been 9 months now, so I guess we’re just over half way. im having lonely night tonight though so 8 more months sounds like forever!
Post # 10
I’m really lucky compared to a lot of LDRs. FH and I have been long distance for 3 years now… wow I can’t believe it’s been that long. We’re 2 hours apart during school, and a half hour away during breaks, with some random time in Tennessee too (he has a cabin there). Just one more year until we’re married and don’t have to count down how many days until we can see each other again… the distance isn’t very long, but after 3 years, we’re just tired of it.
Post # 11
I’m not in a LDR, but I don’t know how you bees do it! My boyfriend see each other 2 or more times per week, and sometimes that doesn’t even feel like enough. I hope you can all muster up just a little bit more strength to carry on for the few more months or years that it takes. It will all be worth it in the end especially since most of you seem to be working on your education or career!
Post # 12
I also like this thread 🙂 I’m doing okay, but I definitely have those days where I have a good cry session because I miss him so much. We are 17 hours apart unfortunately since he is stationed overseas, and I’d love to be able to see him but they’ve been deploying so often as of late that it’s impossible to plan a trip. It’s crazy to look at the calendar and realize he’s been gone for almost a year on the dot. Never thought I’d get through the first month. 🙂
If you have a firm date that you know you’ll see your SO, having a countdown app on your phone is great. However, I do not recommend having a reverse countdown (that is, a countdown that shows how long it’s been since you last saw one another – we just hit the 100 day mark last week and I should not have subjected myself to that, lol)
Stay strong, Bees 🙂 The thing that always helps me is realizing that one day we will actually be together and distance won’t exist. I know that’s a very “duh” statement, but it’s really nice to think “Wow, one day I will actually get to wake up next to him and not countdown til the next time he/I leave.”
Post # 13
I’m counting down the days until our wedding!
We have been LDR for 16 months. During this time, we saw each other 7 times. Previously, we had lived together for 8 months, so going from that to LDR was really rough. But we are going to live together again after we’re married. The only thing is, we are both grad students looking for FT jobs now, so we don’t yet know where we will end up – yet we have to make the decision soon.
It’s been really, really hard, but we will only be LDR for about 40 more days!
Post # 14
We’re doing ok… We are exactly 2011.27 miles apart. And have seen each other three times since he left, it will be a year in may. Our 3 year anniversary is coming up, I have no idea how I am going to stop myself from eating my weight in pudding but oh well 🙁 We have another year to go, it is getting harder, I actually feel like someone is perpetually squeezing one of my lungs whenever we arent together.
However, Being in a LDR has actually been amazing for me as an indivual and for our relationship (I know this is strange bare with me). I am able to enjoy my early 20s, which has transitioned from party to more of a ooh puppies documentary on animal planet! Ditches party dress and puts pj’s back on lol even though I was a party animal before, we started dating and got serious really fast so it all stopped abruptly. This gave me the chance to try it again and decide on my own that I was over it, no regrets now. And it has strengthened our relationship precisely because he isnt here! We can only talk so much about how our day went, we actually talk about things! Like politics and literature and our dreams, I fell in love with my then bf’s mind all over again. Ugh our anniversary is in 10 days, this is going to suck.
Post # 15
This year has been the hardest but also the easiest out of the 6 years we’ve been in an extreme LDR. Hardest because we got engaged this summer when he was here visiting and I didn’t want to let him leave after, and easiest because I know that the next time I see him, he will be here to stay. I’m very much over living on 2 different continents, 17 time zones apart, and seeing each other once a year if we are lucky. Now we are just waiting for his visa approval and loosely planning for our wedding in October, keeping our fingers crossed we don’t have any unexpected delays and everything goes through smoothly for that. We are having a small wedding, aren’t putting down any deposits anywhere or anything, but we do have out of country guests coming so the sooner we are able to pin down a date the better. Thankfully, work and life has kept me so busy that I haven’t had too much time to dwell on being lonely, and by the time that eases up, I’ll be full on wedding planning, so hopefully time will fly quickly between now and October.
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2013 - B&B
This is nice where we can all come and support each other. You ladies are STRONG! An LDR puts different kinds of strains on a relationship but I think it helps it just grow stronger in some ways. Communication, for one!
My Fiance and I aren’t THAT long distance. A little over two hours apart. Funnily enough, I am living with his parents in his home town, and he just recently moved in with MY parents in my hometown for his job! It’s been a little crazy but we both have good jobs now (he just graduated in December) and we’re looking to buy a house and we will be married in September! We will be two hours apart until the end of November though…I can’t tell you how many people have looked at me bug-eyed when they found out we arent living together RIGHT away after the wedding.
Like “yes it sucks, but we know we’re setting ourselves up for our future together… we just got married, two and a half more months wont kill us when we have we just promised the rest of our lives together people” lol.
We have been seeing each other most weekends, which is nice. He does leave for army reserve training for a month in California though, May 7th or so. Compared to a deployment this is NUTTIN but I will still miss him terribly.
We have been on and off two hour long distance for about half of our relationship, which is coming up on four years. Well, technically 4 months of that was TRUE long distance because I was on study abroad in Rome and he was still here in PA lol. We truly feel that the distance has helped us make sure we get to know each others hearts and minds deeply. It makes us appreciate our time together, and it makes us truly plan out our future. We looked up a “100 questions to ask before Marriage” article and found we had discussed many of those questions before we were even engaged! And we are SO excited about the next step. It also makes sure that we continue to grow as individuals too….