(Closed) How are things “different” after marriage?

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
4546 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’ve only been married about a month but things are much the same with us (we too lived together for quite awhile before marriage). What I’ve seen change is that we make all our decisions together and our money is now “our” money instead of my money and his money, which takes some getting used to. Other than that, I have noticed many differences.

Post # 4
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Hm. I don’t know that I really feel any different, but it’s only been a month. Darling Husband and I had been together 5 years and lived together for ages before we got married, so really, it was like coming home with new rings and continuing on with life. The only time I feel differently is if I get mad at him or am exasperated I look at him and think “…… I signed up for this forever………..”, LOL!

I know some of our friends said they felt differently, like more of a sense of “family” but I can’t say I’ve had that feeling so much. I feel more defensive of Darling Husband. If something happens that hurts him or if I feel someone has said something offensive, I really get my back up like “How dare you say that/hurt my husband!!!” and take it very personally.

I feel though like he’s been trying a bit harder around the house, I think trying to prove himself as a good husband or something. It’s very cute. I also think it’s a bit of the honeymoon phase, so I’m not expecting it to last forever πŸ˜‰

Post # 5
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

I never felt a difference at all.  However, we had already shared our bank accounts and bought a house together.  For people that lived together but as a roomate situation (not sharing their money/assets) I guess that could feel different.  I thought of it this way – if we left each other we each get half, if one of us were hurt the other could be admitted into the hosptial room to sit by their bed, we could get joint health insurance, we got a better tax rate πŸ™‚  But our relationship was exactly the same since we had already been living our lives as a couple fully.

Post # 6
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We’ve already lived together for 3 years so the day to day didn’t change much.  For us, the main logistical change is that we started having joint finances, which takes some getting used to even if you’re good with money.  It does feel a bit different mentally, at least for me.  I think Darling Husband already felt 100% committed regardless of the wedding, but for me, I can’t say I was all the way there yet.  There are some things I just wasn’t going to do until after marriage – kids, buying a house together, joining finances.  So now I feel comfortable going forward with those types of things.

Post # 7
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Hmmm pretty much the same here. πŸ™‚  We had lived 2/g for 3.5 yrs and already shared finances.

Post # 8
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@luckyprincess:

Why does your wedding date say February 1, 2011 if you’re already married?

Post # 9
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

@lezlers:  I am divorced!  Happily, though, and we are still great friends.  My bf and I have been together for 7 years though and same thing – live together, have a dog, joint finances, joint account and credit cards.  πŸ™‚

Plus – I had to enter a date to join even though we’re not sure exactly when or how or even if we’re going to tie the knot.  But that’s the day I would choose if/when we do!

Post # 10
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Ah, I see.  I saw you refer to your Boyfriend or Best Friend in another thread too, so I was confused.

Post # 11
Member
1222 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Now granted it’s only been 4 days, I already feel emotionally and mentally different. I really don’t know how to explain it other than, I am in love w/ hubby now more than ever. When I woke up Monday morning to see his handsome face I started getting teary. This is the man I chose to spend the rest of my life w/, and I couldn’t be more sure of anything in my life than I was at that moment. I also find myself being the “doting wife”. Not that I didn’t do things for him before but it’s like I really enjoy it, lol.

Post # 12
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

@lezlers:

Yikes!! You probably thought i had a bf AND a hubby! lol

Post # 13
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Weve been married almost 2 months and I would say its the same, but different. Before marriage we had been together 4.5 years and had lived together for over 2 years. I would say the feeling different thing is so subtle and honestly not something you can explain. It just feels more “right”, more secure, stable, we feel more like a family/team than we did before, and we are both trying harder in every department. AND there isnt any stress of planning a wedding so that adds to the niceness of everything as well! It isnt drastically different but it is there and it feels good!

Post # 14
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

We have been married almost 3 months and in a lot of ways, things aren’t that different. We are still the same people and once everything settled down our lives went back to how they were before the wedding.

Right after we got married my husband had to go to the emergency room and since we were married I could go in to see the doctor with him, which was kind of nice. My family, and his, have treated both of us differently since we’ve been married. They seem to take the other partner more seriously and are just acting more “familial” to them. Of course, they ask us when we’re having kids, too. Introducing him as my Husband kind of makes me feel old and settled, in a good and also not-so-good way, though I love when he calls me his wife. I think our sex life is even better, because I have this frisky wife mentality going on. I don’t want things to get boring, so I think I feel more like letting my freak flag fly.

I have had a few moments of, “So this is what I signed up for for life, huh?” when we have had fights or stress. Actually, come to think of it, we have had more fights since we’ve been married. I think that has more to do with what’s going on in our lives right now (he is super busy and we never see each other) though. Anyway, these are the changes I’ve observed.

Post # 15
Member
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

honestly not much is different – like @bakerella said, i do get the moments of *eyeroll* “this is forever…” when he does something stupid, but thats all in good fun πŸ™‚

we lived together for a while, so that part wasnt new. I am a bit more invested in how he takes care of himself though. making sure hes eating right, exercising like he should, and getting on him about his smoking… stuff like that.

but honestly not much has changed. *shrugs* i loved him before we said the vows and just as much now afterwards. πŸ™‚

Post # 16
Member
4566 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We didn’t live together before we were married, so our only real difference is that we get to see eachother ALOT more! Other than that… nothing’s changed, which I am so thankful for. Our relationship is great and I was so hoping and praying that it wouldn’t drastically change!

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