(Closed) How are we supposed to know how many babies we want until we start having them?

posted 9 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Did you change your mind on the number of kids you wanted after you started having them?

    Yes, I wanted more.

    Yes, I wanted less.

    No, I didn't change my mind.

    I never had a set number.

    Other.

  • Post # 3
    Member
    7774 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We haven’t had our kiddo yet, but we have definitely decided to reserve the sibling talk until after she’s here. We always had agreed on 2 as well. Right now, DH seems to be in the only child camp and I’m in the “I want her to have siblings!” camp.

    We’ll see how that changes in a few months. lol

    Post # 4
    Member
    5842 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I really want to see how people respond. My mom always said she wanted 10 kids after having me and after she had my brother she was done having kids. He was craaaazy hyper.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1763 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    This is still an ongoing challenge for us. We have two (One is from a previous relationship, but DH is her only father figure) and I really want 1-2 more. DH really thinks the two we have now is  great. He says we can compromise and have 1 more, but that is definately it for him.

    Post # 6
    Member
    7581 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I have a bonus son from DH’s first marriage. I’m now pregnant and this will be it for us. We’ve had tons of discussions about it and we think this is the best choice for our children. I don’t ever want my bonus son to be the odd man out and if they have only each other for siblings it should keep them united. (DH’s ex is not having anymore children)

    Post # 7
    Member
    2140 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We’ve talked about this off and on before but never in a conclusive manner.

    I think he would be happy with 2 or 3. He grew up with 2 brothers. I did as well. In my case I had 2 older brothers who were much older than me and me being the little sister. There was def a generation gap and although I love them like crazy we just did not have that growing experience.
    So I always felt that ideally I would want 2 boys and 2 girls. In a perfect world.

    We’ll see how we feel after one but def a minimum of 2. We both think it’s important for our child to have a sibling.

    Post # 8
    Member
    9024 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Right now I’m pregnant with my 1st and I want 3 kids. I’ve always wanted 3, so we’ll see if that changes after the first one arrives. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We haven’t had kids yet but right now our agreed upon plan is to have two.  If we get a boy and a girl.. we are definitely done.  If we get two of the same, we may try again but only if finances comfortably allow for it.

    Post # 10
    Member
    538 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    We have always had a two minimum rule. We will for sure have two (even if that means adoption) and after that discuss having more. Any beyond two will probably really depend on finances. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    711 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    We didn’t want any kids – but we did get a beautiful surprise which is our son and he is completely awesome. He is now 3 and I really want just one more. So we are now in the talks for having one more, getting pregnant in July and having number two for 2013.

    So….we went from wanting none to having one surprise, and now I want just one more lol.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1119 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    Well we decided on two before having kids, because I’m an only child and while I loved it as a kid, today I find it difficult to not have a clue about sibling relationships and knowing that when my parents die, I won’t have any close family except my husband’s. So I don’t want my child to experience that (my parents would have had more, but health issues prevented that).

    So two is our minimum – and I’m always kinda joking that I’ll see how this one goes before deciding on a second one; but for the family’s sake I will not leave my first one without siblings.

    I really don’t think we’ll go for more, but who’s to say that we won’t like having kids so much that we won’t go for more? I don’t know. I kinda doubt it because I don’t like being pregnant that much and would like to just have the kids without the pregnancy/delivery so I don’t foresee myself choosing to do it after I have the two… But if my husband was up to it, I would definitely consider adopting one or two more if we had enough money to do it.

    Post # 13
    Member
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011 - Epworth UMC & Ward Pavilion

    We really wanted two before kids, and after we had our daughter, we both decided we want three. Humorously, we both are convinced we’ll end up having a “surprise” baby when we think we’re done and end up with four. (I think that’s just because we’re both one of four kids in our families). Of course, then I started talking vasectomy with him when we’re done with three, and he’s still on the “hell no!” train with that.

    Post # 14
    Member
    9816 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    I only ever wanted one, that hasn’t really changed. We have a beautiful little girl, our family doesn’t feel incomplete.

    Post # 15
    Member
    686 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    We don’t have any kids yet, but our plan is to shoot for 3. I grew up with one sister and to be blunt, it was torturous (mostly because my mom likes her some favoritism) because in my experience one of you is always the bad child. Also, having grown up in a day home I found the only children to usually be very difficult to handle in social situations.

    Fiance however is one of his father’s six children, the youngest child from his dad’s first marriage (from which he had three sons, his second marriage reaped three girls) so he’s always pushing the “We should have more kids than that!” bandwagon.

    Six kids…who is he kidding?!

    Post # 16
    Member
    2410 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I wanted three, he wanted one we have settled on two for now. We’ll see how we feel after number one arrives. I just might have had enough. Pregnancy is so exhausting anyway, I’m not sure I want to do it three times.

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