(Closed) How are we supposed to know how many babies we want until we start having them?

posted 9 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Did you change your mind on the number of kids you wanted after you started having them?

    Yes, I wanted more.

    Yes, I wanted less.

    No, I didn't change my mind.

    I never had a set number.

    Other.

  • Post # 17
    Member
    198 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I havent had my first yet but it’s really important to me to have more than one. DH isnt an only child but his little sister (same mom) is 14 so he was an only child for 17 years. He doesnt understand the connection I have with my sister and how important it is to me that we stay close. He agrees that 2 is the number, but if we have 2 of the same sex and we are financially able to have 3 close in age we might.

    Post # 18
    Member
    1854 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    My number went down; I’d always said “two or three” and then after a M/C and difficult PG with my son, I was DONE being pregnant.  Done.  When my son’s father and I divorced, it just further cemented the issue.  My son is my dream child (carbon copy of my personality) and I can’t imagine having any more.  SO is fixed, so the only kids we’ll be having together will be on the goat farm I want to start.

    Post # 19
    Member
    149 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I always wanted 4, DH wanted 3, so we’ve settled on- let’s get to 3 and then decide. Now that we have DS I know I want more for sure! But from friends I hear that the second is a lot tougher and will make you reconsider your numbers.

    Post # 20
    Member
    2820 posts
    Sugar bee

    Aww that’s really sweet.

    We always wanted 3 and who knows maybe a 4 so that hasn’t changed but I was a bit worried we’d be like no way once the baby came, but she’s so great it’s hard not to want more.

    Post # 21
    Member
    1747 posts
    Bumble bee

    @artbee: Yes, having a baby is special but I consider other factors that can help me determine how many I can handle. Personally, I like working and I like having an aggressive career, I would like to be a hands on mom and an attentive wife. This limits the amount of bouncing babies I can have and enjoy the lifestyle thats important to me. I have a 2 baby maximum limit. For me its about balance and I know myself very well, I don’t want to put more on my plate than I can enjoy/handle. I am saying this and I don’t have kids. I may end up like the lady who lived in the shoe and have so many babies I don’t know what to do;0)

    Post # 22
    Member
    6244 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    No kids yet but we’ve had the discussion several times.  Fiance wants tons of kids.  Like a crazy big family.  I want much less than that.  We’ll see how I feel after I pop the first one out…

    Post # 23
    Member
    6009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    My husband and I had always agreed on three kids, but after Addie was born, I felt just like you!  I knew I wanted more, and soon.  Baby rabies hit me again really hard when Addie was only 7 months old.  🙂

    #2 is due in April, and we’ll see how it goes after that.  We already have plans for a third, but I think I might want 4.  If we do have a fourth, there will be a much bigger gap between #3 and #4, whereas we’d prefer all our other kids to be only two years apart.  I’m not sure my husband is completely against 4 either; the other day he told me he thinks our family would be complete if we had three older girls and a baby boy, lol.  I told him I’d get right on planning that.

    Post # 25
    Member
    775 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    My Fiance and I agreed to have 2 children. We want a boy and a girl. And I know you cant choose gender, I decided that the most I will have is 3 children. If I have all 3 girls or all 3 boys, then that is what I am meant to have. I’m not gonna have 6 children just to have one gender.

    He has already been warned what I want though, so his little soldiers better do their job!

    Post # 25
    Member
    775 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    My Fiance and I agreed to have 2 children. We want a boy and a girl. And I know you cant choose gender, I decided that the most I will have is 3 children. If I have all 3 girls or all 3 boys, then that is what I am meant to have. I’m not gonna have 6 children just to have one gender.

    He has already been warned what I want though, so his little soldiers better do their job!

    Post # 26
    Member
    2495 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    DH and I want at least 2.  We’ve talked about having more, but I think our limit is 4.  We’ll see how old we are when we actually have kids and how we feel abut it then though.

    Post # 27
    Member
    3979 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Originally Mr. Hedgie only wanted 2 because that is how his entire family has always been. On the flipside, mine has always had 3 kids. My parents ended up with 4 in a way because the cared for her MR brother and I loved having 3 different people. I really really really want 4. I will settle for 3 but we will see once we actually start popping some out!

    Post # 28
    Member
    350 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    @Mrs. Spring: you’re expecting again? congrats!

    As for the OP, I’m far, far from babies so I can’t help there 🙂

    Post # 30
    Member
    509 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I’m a child of three, from two parents from three.

    He’s one of two (would have been three but his mom had a miscarriage and difficult pregnancies with both him and his sister), but both of his parents were from groups of three as well.

    So for us, it was simple to decide we also wanted to aim for three. 

    I’m currently just over halfway done cooking our first, so we’ll see what happens next!

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