- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
So I have been engaged for 2 months now (time is moving crazy fast), one week after my engagement I sent out a very detailed email to my mom. It included vendors I liked, their prices, their websites, why I liked them…even the timeframe I planned on booking them! The email was awesome…and it took her like a week to respond…and to be honest im pretty sure she didnt even read the damn thing because she keeps asking me the same questions over and over. So to keep the communication open, I went over to her house to give her a pretty binder including all of the details. It had the budget, webites and prices of vendors and a timeline, once again so perfect but she really said nothing.
Fast forward to now, she is upset that she I am paying “so much” for things. She doesnt think I should look for a dress so soon or pay a 30% retainer to a photographer. She wants to window shop and look around for ideas…we don’t have time! I need real money, to book real things right now. The wedding is June 21st, 2015. I have a venue booked, photographer will be booked next week and the dress will be bought in 2 months. I love my mom, but she doesn’t realize that I don’t have all of the time in the world to plan, she also just doesnt understand the way things work, so she thinks I am being insane. For example she didnt understand why I want to buy a dress so soon. I let her know that it takes a while for the dress to come in after you order it, and then you need alterations (she wore her moms dress). She keeps insisting that I just buy it off the rack so we can buy it later, but I really want to get it in 2 months.
Lastly, my parents are broke. I cover them on little things like cell phone bills and they can’t pay me back, which I don’t mind. But she keeps telling me she wants to pay for this and that…knowing she can’t afford it. My fiance and I are more than capable of paying for the wedding ourselves, and we wouldn’t dare ask them for help. I don’t know how to handle this, she is giving me mixed messages and she is being very opinionated about things that she does not really understand. Any advice ladies?? I need to stay repsectful and care about her feelings but I need her to be realistic as well.