Post # 1
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
FI recently got officially engaged last week after talking about ring buying and weddings for a while. So obviously all i’ve been doing the past week is researching wedding stuff. At first I told myself I’m going to have a wedding for under $7-10k But then reality hit. lol. My sister recently told me that my mom told her that her and my dad have money put away for our wedding whenever we decide to finally get married. We’ll be having that chit chat here within the next few weeks I would assume. I know my parent’s certaily aren’t hurting financially, and we come from an Irish Catholic family who always has HUGE weddings, so I’m sure my mom’s not expecting it to under $7-10k.
I’m just wondering how fellow bees are paying for wedding or splitting up costs? Are your parents helping, or are you just saving for expenses, credit cards?? I recently graduated college and have a job making okay money, but I also have an added monthly expense of student loans, and FI is a teacher, so both of us have somewhat modest incomes. Oh I forgot to mention, we also have 2 children -ages 6 + 4 – who of course come with PLENTY of expnses lol. My sister sells Origami Owl jewelry and I’m considering signing up to do that to get some extra income to put in a wedding account, and of course we’ll have my parents help, but I would hate to ask them to foot an entire $25k wedding if that’s what it will come out to be. Just curious how others are handling the finances!! Thanks ladies 🙂
Post # 2
Member
45652 posts
Honey Beekeeper
We paid for our own wedding with cash we saved for that purpose.
Post # 3
Member
1262 posts
Bumble bee
My dad is paying for everything besides the honeymoon and our rings. We also have a huge family and the expectation is a big wedding. However you clearly have an established family, so if you want a modest wedding you should have one! I think you could do something nice with $7-10k.
Post # 4
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
My parents are helping a lot. By the time our date rolls around, we will have had an 18 month engagement. This was done on purpose. We did not want to take on debt, and we did not want our parents to take on any debt. So during those 18 months, my parents – as well as FI and I – have been saving money and buying things slowly. So I think in the end it’s like, parents paying 75% and us 25% of expenses.
Post # 5
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
KatJoy227: my dad graciously offered us 12k and told us to do with it as we please. my mother paid for my wedding dress, veil, and shower. My godfather offered to pay for the church related expenses. My grandmother offered to pay for the cookie table. His parents originally offered us 7k then switched it to pay for the alcohol, rehearsal dinner, and tuxes. Then switched it again to just alcohol and rehearsal dinner. Then started a bunch of drama and said they aren’t coming or funding anything. At that point FI and I reworked the budget so the whole wedding would only be around 14k (78 people total) which means we would only only pay about 2k out of pocket ourselves and my dad offered to cover the rehearsal since his parents were saying they wouldn’t. Well here we are two and a half weeks out from the wedding and his parents send us their RSVP that they will be coming asking with a 3k check. So luckily now my dad won’t have to pay for the rehearsal dinner and FI and myself won’t have to dip into our savings to cover the remaining 2k towards the wedding.
Post # 6
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
We are going to be getting help from both of our families.
Post # 7
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
KatJoy227: combination of our savings and family contributions. We didn’t know if parents would be helping so saved up as much as we thought we’d need anyway, before we were even engaged.
Post # 8
Member
23 posts
Newbee
We r paying with the help of my parents and FI dad and step mam its taken 18 months and we only got 2 weeks left till our big day
Post # 9
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
My parents are paying for almost everything. Future in laws are paying for rehearsal dinner, groomsmen tux rentals, and also wrote us a generous check to contribute to whatever we saw fit. Fiancé paid for rings, and will be paying for honeymoon.
Post # 10
Member
2123 posts
Buzzing bee
My fiancé and I are paying for it ourselves, mostly. My mom did pay for my dress and she’s helped out here and there.
Post # 11
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
We’re paying for everything ourselves. We’re putting it on credit cards to get the miles/points (using those to get free plane tickets to Europe for our honeymoon). But we’re paying off the cards every month so there’s no balance or interest. My mom paid for my dress and FI’s parents are covering the rehearsal dinner since it’s mostly his out-of-town family that is attending the dinner.
I think that at a certain age, it’s inappropriate to ask your parents to pay for your big party. I’d rather my parents use all their money to save for retirement or to enjoy their life now (like take more expensive vacations). I’m in my mid 20s, FI is in early 30s, and our combined income is as much as, if not more, than both sets of parents. I would feel wrong to take any sort of large contribution from them even though both sets can certaintly afford to give us more.
Post # 12
Member
942 posts
Busy bee
KatJoy227: Congrats on your recent engagement! How exciting 😀
Seems as though you may be in a very good position to have the wedding you dream of. Also very exciting. I would suggest being open and honest with all those who will help financially pay for your wedding. Tell them what you envision and set a plan in action.
We’re doing a budget wedding. Families will pay for it (I’ll try to give as much as I can – I don’t make much, so if I wanted a 25-30K wedding I would have that in about 20 years, once student loans are paid off, lol). We haven’t set anything yet, but looking to have a June/Summer 2015 wedding.
Post # 13
Member
417 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: June 2015 - Historic house and gardens
We are paying for our own wedding, saving a large amount of our pay each week. We’ve worked out we can save 20k in the year up till our wedding. We’ve already payed out 6k on our venue deposit and part of our honeymoon. The rings are next. We have backup funds if needed, but are trying to do it entirely on our joint savings this year.
Post # 14
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
LMD: I’m kind of thinkign the 75/25 split is what will end up happening. Both FI and I come from pretty large families, and with just our close families and tentative bridal party it would be at around 100 guests. This is not including friends, as well as any other family/friends that my parents would want to invite. I’m the baby of the family and I know they have been waiting for FI and I to finally tie the knot for a while, so I’m sure they would want to invite people and if they’re helping financially, I certainly wouldn’t oppose, as long as it’s not someone I seriously don’t know.
I definitely plan on paying for dress, dj, photographer, decor, any DIY things, etc etc. It’s all just a bit overwhelming once you finally start REALLY looking in to everything!!! 
Post # 15
Member
8469 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
We budgeted 25% of our spendable savings for our wedding. Our moms later contributed a small portion (20% of our wedding budget) so we were able to upgrade a few things.
