Post # 1
How are you paying for your wedding?
My fiance and I are paying for our own wedding and we are freaking out a little. Our wedding is in May and we’ve got all of our deposits on the venue and all the vendor’s deposits payed. By April, we need to have the remaining balances on everything paid…and food and beverage will need to be paid 2 weeks before.
Originally when we started planning, we were going to have 20-30 of our closests family on the beach for a casual wedding….somehow along the way, it’s grown to a whopping 106 guests! Waaayyyy more than I really wanted or can afford. We had enough cash in savings to pay for our small wedding but now that it’s a little less casual and way more people coming, we know we do not have enough to pay for all of it with cash. Should we finance the remaining balances or take a loan? Ask family for help?? I do not want to finance a wedding, seems ridiculous to me to have a wedding if you can’t afford it to actually pay for it. Should we cancel the wedding? Postpone the wedding? Save the dates were sent out months ago so not sure what to do. Freaking out. Need advice please.
Post # 3
If you are comforatable asking your parents for some support, I think that would be the best route to go. If you are not, then save, save, save and then if you absolutely have to, put some of it on credit. I would advise to try to get a card with a low introductory rate that you can pay off over the course of a year or so with little penalty, whatever you do, don’t put anything on a credit card with a high rate like 18% or something. Be really smart if you have to use credit for any of it.
Post # 4
Honestly, i’d try to get a second job. I hate to say it, but you got yourself into this mess with poor financial planning, and I’d rather dig myself out than ask for help. If your family didn’t offer up any money to begin with, they probably won’t now. And if they do, it’ll probably be with a little bit of a bad taste, having to “bail” you out and all. If you could borrow money (i guess it depends how much you’re talking), that’d be one thing (really depends on your folks, though). I’d avoid financing at ALL costs–a little more hard work up front would fix that. And if you can’t get second jobs or something, you really need to look at evaluating your home budget to cut out every little bit you can and seeing if there are places you can scale back.
It really depends how much you’re going over budget, I think. If you’re talking a LOT of money, well…that’s definitely a big problem.
Post # 5
mcnetn3 said it perfectly!
OUr wedding is very tight budgeted and we ended up asking for a little help. Our parents didn’t give us a ton but it really helped. We are saving like crazy. However, in the end we will end up having to put maybe $800 on our credit card. We called the bank and they said it was smarter to get a low interest credit card then take out a higher interest loan that they would offer for a personal loan. I would say sit down and budget budget budget and figure out how much you are going to be able to save and what your parents can help you with. What is your gap in money? What is the policy with your vendors on pushing back the day? I wouldn’t move it back if you will loose money with vendors.
I would also suggest cutting back your guest list if you can. However, if you already sent a person a save the date you can’t really take that part back.
Post # 6
I’d probably start looking for a second job, too. I hate asking anyone, even my parents, for help. If you aren’t that far off track budget wise, working another job for a couple months might more than help pay for the rest of the wedding. Or, if invites have not gone out yet, just cut the guest list back to what you can afford.
Post # 7
We are about 2,000 over budget, so it’s not a crazy amount but it’s a lot for us right now. Most of the reason we are going to be over budget is becasue of family putting their input into our guest list and us not standing up for ourselves and saying “no, youre not invited or no, they’re not invited”
I wanted a casual tea length dress that was 100.00 but mom and sisters talked me into getting an actual wedding dress that cost over 400.00. It’s no one’s fault but mine but my family knew my budget and pressured me into certain decisions that I couldn’t afford. My maid of honor cheaped out on me and I ended up buying her rehearsal dress, her daughter’s dress and paid half of her moh dress.
His mother and stepfather offered their help in the beginning but we told them thanks but no thanks because we had 10,000 in savings and didn’t need help. The place we were planning on having our wedding was a great price and we had MORE than enough to pay for everyhting. Then family started chiming in on how expensive travel and rooms would be for THEM….so we changed our wedding location to accomodate everyone else and in turn, everything for the wedding in this new location is twice as much!! Oh yea, and we also changed our wedding date to accomodate people’s work schedules…which ended up putting us in a more expensive wedding week. Grrrr…
Everyone in our family wants to bitch about decisions we have made but no one wants to offer to help us change it, knowing we can not afford their decisions.
Post # 8
It sounds like you really need to put your foot down when it comes to other’s opinions. FI’s family tried to do this–invite third cousins, had a wonderful idea about us renting transportation for all the out of town guests from the hotel to the venue, etc. All things that would cost us a ton of money. It’s obviously too late to go back and change the dress and probably the venue, too, but, you can still take control over the guest list and everything else that isn’t yet set in stone.
Did you set an expectation that your Maid/Matron of Honor would have to pay you back when you bought those things? If so, and the wedding date you have listed is right, she has plenty of time to pay you back. What I have done to keep family under control (bitchy as it sounds, but they know me) is everytime they have an opinion that is going to cost money, I tell them it’s a great idea and that they can pay for it. I think after the second time using this with Future Father-In-Law his opinions started to get few and far between.
Post # 9
If you are only $2K over budget you do have plenty of time to save up and try to cover that. You need to cut back on spending, going out, etc and maybe pick up some odd work here and there. I’d recommend babysitting on the weekends or during week nights. That’s easy cash right there.
I really don’t think you should ask your family for money. Maybe let them know you guys are having a hard time coming up with the extra money. But don’t ask them to help. If they offer great, but it is your wedding – you guys made these decisions and unfortunately you have to figure it out.
I’m sure it’ll all work out and it’ll be ok. Good luck!
Post # 10
Thanks everyone. I agree with not asking anyone for help. We have both been on our own since we were teenagers and have bought all of our cars, our house, everything on our own and never asked for a dime from our parents nor accepted help when they have offered, so I definitely wouldn’t feel comfortable starting now. I like your idea nqz100, about telling them that’s a great idea if they are going to pay for it! I could start doing that, then maybe they would stop coming up with all these ideas!