(Closed) How are you paying for your wedding?

posted 11 years ago in Money
Post # 61
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Fiance and I are paying for everything ourselves. Our biggest goal was to stay out of debt for the wedding – ie: cash. We’ve made a lot of “compromises,” but our wedding will still be beautiful (as well as fun!) and we’ll be on-track financially afterward.

We have several friends who are planning over-the-top, magazine “dream weddings” and we know that they are using a lot of credit, loans, and even cashing out some retirement savings to pay for it. Don’t get me wrong, I had the same exact type of wedding in mind and I know that there are always extenuating financial circumstances for paying for things on credit/with loans/etc., but they definitely don’t need to be planning $50k weddings if they can’t actually afford it. And no, I’m not saying this out of jealousy or spite, these people are like family to us and we know their financial circumstances very well (ie: we know that they cannot afford $50k weddings!). Now that I’m thinking from a more logical (and less emotional) standpoint, I’ve realized that they’re going to be stuck making payments on those five special hours for many, many years to come. Meanwhile, FI and I will be adding to our savings, buying a house, starting a family (with *hopefully* less financial stress), maybe getting new cars, etc. And they’ll still be paying for their wedding, plus trying to buy a house, plus this-that-and-the-other. Paying cash was a decision that we decided would work well for us and I know that everyone has different circumstances and opinions, so I’m definitely not trying to step on anyone’s toes.     

The hardest part about paying cash was all of the downsizing and compromising on things. I had big wedding dreams – well, I originally wanted a teeny-tiny wedding, but Fiance has a lot of family and he wanted them there, so I went along with it and got caught up in all the beautiful ideas and options, only to find out that we couldn’t afford 50% of them (and that’s a ‘conservative’ figure lol). I ended up wanting tons of beautiful flower arrangements, the linens, the uplighting, a photo booth, a fantastic photographer, cute favors, excellent food, a pretty venue, etc. — boy was I naive! Who knew weddings were so expensive, right?? HA – jk. I wanted everything for the price of nothing, so it was definitely hard to decide what was worth spending the money on and what wasn’t. It could’ve been a much easier process so far if we were rich 😉 haha (obviously!).     

Post # 62
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

We’re very fortunate! Including both the wedding & honeymoon costs, the breakdown is something like this: 70% his parents, 10% his grandparents, 15% my parents & 5% us. 

Post # 63
6980 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

My parents paid for about 1/3. His parents paid for the rehearsal dinner. The other 2/3 we paid for ourselves by saving money out of every paycheck. It was hard but we did it 🙂 

Post # 64
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

We paid for our own wedding. We were also engaged for over a year, but that wasn’t to save money (it was more because of laziness in planning!). We had a very small, 35 guest wedding, because we did not think it was important to spend a lot of our money on a party.

Post # 65
40 posts
  • Wedding: October 2011

Fiance and I are paying 80% ourselves, 20% my parents.

Honestly, I started a “wedding fund” myself long before I met Fiance. I didn’t want an engagement longer than a year and so, each month, instead of shopping or going to a spa, I put $ into ING. It wasn’t a lot, but by the time I was engaged, I had enough to cover my dress and was on track for the rest.  

Also, making a list of what is most important to you helps a lot. I knew I wanted a specific dress, cake, band….but things like flowers, lighting, and linens I wasn’t really particular on. That helped a lot when setting the budget and decided who pays for what. (I.E. My mom can’t pick out whatever linen she wants…..I’m sure it’ll be lovely.)

Hope that helps!


Post # 66
3974 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

We’re paying for it, although my Fiance is pretty sure his parents will pitch in a bit.

Post # 67
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My fiance and I are paying ourselves. We have been really just saving since we got engaged but a big help is he took out a student loan to relieve some of the stress. Hope This Helps

Post # 68
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We’re paying for the wedding ourselves by cutting back as well as earning extra cash with part time jobs and I sell on ebay. So far so good. We can prob have the wedding paid off by the end of the year if all goes as planned. Maybe even sooner!

Post # 69
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

both sides are giving some money for the wedding but we are paying roughly 70%. We are saving and working OT and possibly a part time job to pay it off fast.


To help minimize stress we purchase things every weekend for the wedding. Its over a year away and we already have down payment on the venue, the wedding bands, and some candy vases for the candy buffet.

Post # 70
48 posts
  • Wedding: July 2010

We were engaged for almost 4 years before getting married and it was due to the fact that we bought a house together before the engagement and were in the middle of renovations; actually we still haven’t finished them but he was getting impatient so we bit the bullet and set a date.

We planned to pay for it ourselves but since I am Chinese, he figured that we would be getting some money to offset but we chose to register to give his family and friends the choice.

We approached our budget as if we weren’t going to get any money whatsoever that way we could plan a realistic budget that we could meet. The money to pay for the wedding came from the renovation fund and with that approach we did a lot of stuff on our own and set a list of priorities of where to spend our money.

In the end most of our guest gave us money in some form of another ie. gift cards from the hardware store since everyone knew that we were/are still renovating the house.

The money we got helped to cover 40% of our wedding so in the end we were really happy because we didn’t have expectations of what we were getting as gifts.

Post # 71
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My fi and I are paying for our wedding, with a little bit of help from my family, FI’s family will be doing nothing. My grandmother has spent or will be spending around 1000- 1200 for the wedding. My mom might spend about 500 if were lucky, but other than that we are. We actually we planning our wedding for nov. 27th 2010 but because of budget set backs we decided to postpone until august 13th 2011. And the biggest help in our budget since my fi is a tightwad lol is coming from my “quit smoking fund” I quit smoking after my grandma had major surgery to take out a benign tumor and piece of her lung. She quit smoking after 45 years. I could quit smoking after 7 yrs. So since my fi was a non smoker who completely opposed me smoking to start with that was my big budget helper. Our wedding is going to be under 5k but hey im 5 days smoke free and have more moola for my wedding 😀

Post # 72
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Fiance and I are paying for 80% of the wedding and the other 20% is split between my grandmother and mom.

Post # 73
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My parents are splitting the cost with us probably 80:20 to them! We’re covering smaller things and chipping in where we can, as ‘d be uncomfortable contributing nothing at all. We also purposely set a date that was quite far away at the time (22 month engagement) to ease the pain of spending so much money at once! I know that h2b’s parents want to contribute to some of the costs at a later date.

Post # 74
1495 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Our wedding was about $8k, including our rings and honeymoon, and all done and said it was pretty evenly split between DH’s parents, my parents, and us. 

For what we contributed (which, honestly, was mostly me since DH was paying rent on our apartment, but that’s how we planned it), we paid cash.  Some bigger things did get put on credit cards for the points, though.

Post # 75
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We are trying to save up what money we can, but it’s been difficult lately especially cuz we’re moving and the rent is going to be a little more expensive.

We have used my credit card to pay for the majority of things so far and now we put all money we can towards paying that off so we can fit more onto it because it only has a $2,300 allowance currently. Hopefully, they will increase the credit limit though since we’ve been putting a lot of money on it. Fortunately, our budget is only under about $5K cuz we’re just having a small wedding in Las Vegas and we aren’t paying for the reception.

 Fortunately, my FMIL has agreed to pay for all of the reception costs which is a big help to us. We’re also hoping to receive some money from people that attend our shower since we have a honeymoon registry set up.


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