(Closed) How are you paying for your wedding?

posted 13 years ago in Money
Post # 17
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

Our wedding started at a budget of 25K, but has grown to around $31k at this point and I’ll admit it’s tough.  But you will find that many vendors that you work with only require an initial deposit of a couple of hundred dollars, so as long as you can clear the remaining balance the week of the wedding, you are good to go.  You don’t have to have all of the budget available at this exact moment, I know I didn’t.  Just be sure as you go along you keep a tally of your balance for each vendor and make sure you are both able to afford it at the end of the day.  It’s tough, but prioritizing what’s important to you and what isn’t will make a huge difference at the end!  Best of luck!

Post # 18
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

My parents are paying for the reception hall (~14k, but it’s held at that price with an estimate of 250 ppl, which will go down I’m sure!).  Beyond that, my FIL’s are contributing 5k and then my Fiance and I are attempting to pay the rest. 

I’ve been using my credit card for the bulk of it and opened that last summer, so with wedding expenses and other expenses I will be able to get at least a few hundred dollars off of our honeymoon with the miles I’ve racked up (I have a Discover Miles card). 

I’ve basically been stashing away money in a savings account since we got engaged (a little over a year ago) and I’ve been very stingy on buying things, unless it’s an absolute necessity or something i’ve thought about carefully.

I’m hoping our wedding will come in under 25k and it seems we’re heading toward that goal.  Still 6 months to go, so we’ll see.

 

Post # 19
Member
34 posts
Newbee

We are doing the old-school breakdown (my parents pay for almost everything, his pay for rehearsal dinner, etc.).  We are very grateful, but to be fair, both of us went to college entirely on the military’s dime, and my sister got an athletic scholarship, so my parents can afford a very nice wedding for us.   I am very happy that we don’t have to pay for it!

Post # 20
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

We are paying by prayer!  HA.  We are actually paying most of it by ourselves which is where most of the prayer part comes in.  We have a few contributions from parents, grandparents, and Aunts/Uncles.

Post # 21
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

we are paying for both our weddings ourselves. our wedding in hawaii this august will be right at $6K and our church wedding next year will be around $80K

one of the first things we did when we got engaged was prioritize the top 5 things we HAD to have and went from there. first on our list was just us – something so pure and simple that it had to be a small intimate ceremony – nothing personal against having fam and friends there, but we wanted something just for us – so private wedding in hawaii it was!

we are getting married in hawaii for ourselves – we wanted a small (just me and him) ceremony and to be left alone for 3 weeks while we lounged and just enjoyed each other – no laptops, no cellphones, nothing…

but we are not completely barren of family obligations and church, so we are also having a church wedding next year so our family and friends can celebrate with us, and so our nuptials will be recognized by church.

my father offered to pay for it, but we declined. we are grown and while i do appreciate the gesture, i dont feel ‘right" accepting his money when we’re quite capable of paying for it ourselves.  he still gave us the money – but i think we’re going to use it for downpayment on a 2nd home/rental property…

we’re doing away with our weekend trips and aimless shopping and instead are paying roughly $5K a month on wedding-related expenses.  our "social" life has not quite dwindled, but we are pinching our pennies more than before – i want to pay this monstrosity off the sooner the better.

we’ve already paid off our hawaii wedding, so we’re on to paying off the larger, more formal wedding next year…

Post # 22
Member
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My FH and are I paying for some of the wedding and my parents are paying for the other half.  We haven’t got a very set budget, but we are trying to save for a house so we are doing our best to get what we want but keeping the price low. 

Post # 23
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I feel horrible asking people for money especially since I have a specific taste. The Mister as well does not like to ask for $. So from the beginning we opted to pay for everything ourselves. Our engagement is a total of 21 months and I sat down made a "payment plan" for us to put money away weekly. We are golden right now. All of our vendors have a small amount left to pay and all that is left are the DIY projects and hair & makeup to pay for.

Post # 24
Member
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Shay! What are/were some of your DIY projects? We are saving money buy making all our flower arrangements out of silk flowers! They are coming out just as good as real ones! My mom is doing them so I’ve been buying flowers and putting them with the stuff she has collected so my dad doesn’t know I’m paying for anything!

I come from an big Italian family and they are big on tradition so my family would be insulted if they didn’t pay.  My dad would get a lot of flack from his parents (my grandparents) if they knew me and my FH were paying for things! So we talked them into paying for some stuff but we are paying for more then they know about otherwise they would not approve if they knew we were paying for things! We just have to be sneaky about it unfortunately! 

Post # 25
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Setting a budget and sticking to it is key, but it can also be the hardest part.  I used a couple of wedding budgeters (the knot and martha stewart weddings and maybe another couple) that ended up being useless.  They give you a formula based on what you want your overall budget to be, but it does’t reflect reality.  We have about 150 guests and the knot recommended we budget about $30/person for dinner.  I would be THRILLED if we could find a caterer to provide staff, tables, linens, place settings, and food for that little, but when we got our first quotes, my eyes bugged out of my head.

 I understand that wedding budgets are tricky, but one way you can ask friends about what they spent is to focus on a particular cost–i.e. would you mind if I asked how much you spent on your photographer?  i really loved the pictures you sent out after the wedding!  You can get realistic estimates on a couple of the key expenses without ever saying (or knowing) "and how much did you drop on this whole affair?" 

Post # 26
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We’ve been putting away a good chunk of change every month into savings and that will cover all of the wedding + some. We also have just been taking things out of our checking account as we buy them and not dipping into the savings account. Most of the purchases thus far have been handled this way. The big costs: photography, catering, venue, will come out of savings. We knew approximately how much we’d have available when we made a budget, but our budget is honestly pretty loose. Since we already can cover all of the big costs, we aren’t really watching what we spend on smaller things. The wedding is essentially part of our disposable spending at this point. I look forward to having a lot more money to play with after June 27 🙂

Post # 27
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2020

We’re paying for it ourselves and saving a set amount each month. Our budget for a year and half engagment was $6000-$7000. We are giving up a lot of the luxuries but I still think we can pull off a fun wedding with that budget. I had a strange mindset. Fiance and I live in a condo (for two years now). We are both itching to get into our first home but have to redo our kitchen and bathroom and the market and the money just isn’t there yet. I didn’t want to elope for the sake of our only living grandparent who will only see 1 of her 3 grandchildren get married. So I decided if the wedding was going to cost us more than what it’d cost to redo our kitchen and/or bath I’d sooner save for that and be one step closer to selling our place and just do the JP/restaurant thing with immediate family. In our area we figured a way (w/scarafices) to make a wedding for 60 people work on $6-$7k. To be honest, I can’t wait til the wedding is over to start saving for the house part.

Post # 28
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

We’re budgeting about $5k for the wedding and $5k for the honeymoon. We’ll have 50 people there, and we’re planning on doing a lot of thrifty things like opting for silk flowers, buying my dress/veil off ebay/consignment stores, making everything ourselves, etc…hopefully it’ll all work out. We’ve already saved $5k for emergencies, and we’re registering through Honeyfund for our honeymoon registry so hopefully most of the honeymoon expenses will be taken care of. We’re both remarkably good with money and are simple in terms of taste, so I’m actually excited about getting to cut corners and come out with a unique, cheap wedding day! This whole wedding planning process has actually brought us closer together.

Post # 29
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Our budget is $5-7K. Mr. Oates’ family is quite wealthy and will be more than happy to help pay for things and I’m sure my family will pitch in as much as they can. However, we are waiting until 2012 so that we can save and pay for the wedding ourselves. 

Post # 30
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Ummm where does it say the average wedding s 30k? Wow maybe in the upperclass areas but what about the rest of us? I have never attended or known of a wedding personally that was a 30k or higher wedding and I know people from all walks of life in different states. I am a school teacher and consider myself a middle class person but I do not have 30k laying around for my wedding. It just gets on my nerves we are being brainwashed into thinking the average wedding costs 27k is what I read. What about all those vegas, backyard, courthouse, beach weddings? Sorry just tired of feeling like I am a cheapo bride for not spending the supposed average amount.

Post # 31
Member
5887 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

prostitution on the side.

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