(Closed) How are you recognizing a deceased parent?

posted 11 years ago in Beehive
Post # 18
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

This is great! I just joined this site and I had no idea how I was going to remember my dad. my sister, mother and I are all enormous crybabies so I didn’t want to set any of us off. I love the idea of a bouquet charm, especially as I would be co-ordinating the flowers according to a tradition my dad had on special occasions, so it fits right in. perfect, thanks so much for sharing that idea guys.

Post # 19
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

We actually did nothing – although DH’s dad passed away about 9 months before our wedding.  Maybe if he had been gone longer we would have done something.  But we asked his mom about a couple of ideas, and her response was "I’m going to spend enough time on that day wishing he could be here.  If I can just forget for a few hours, and enjoy the celebration, that will be a great thing.  So please, don’t do anything at all that will just remind me that he can’t be here."  DH’s sister was quite upset that we didn’t do a memorial, but I think that his mom’s wishes were more important.

Post # 20
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2008

We did a mention in the program.  I also have a bouquet charm in honor of our loved ones.

Post # 21
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: January 2009

we are doing numerous things to honor my father (and other loved ones that have passed) at our wedding… we are having a moment of silence at the beginning of the ceremony for everyone that is not that with us, an "in loving memory" section in the program, and donation favor cards to the city of hope cancer research center in memory of my father. we have also registered through the "i do foundation" – where a percentage of our guests purchases will also go back to the city of hope. we are also getting married on my parents anniversary – 38 years to the date 🙂 i hope its not too overwhelming, but i just want to honor him as much as possible

Post # 22
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I am actually crying reading this.  Thanks for all the great ideas; I just have to decide which I will use.  My father passed away 16 years ago, & my mother passed away not even a year and a half ago (before I got engaged).  The pain from losing my mother is still raw, but your ideas definitely gave me some great approaches to honoring my parents without causing waterworks for everyone.  Thank you.

Post # 23
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I used a locket from my aunt (my mom’s sister) and put my mom’s picture in it and carried it on my bouquet.  I also made a special page at the end of the program with her name, picture and a quote from St. Augustus. 

It was also important for me that people didn’t confuse my dad’s new wife for my mom.  Before the wedding I stressed that fact to my vendors.  I think this is really important for every bride, because its most likely that a photographer will say "Do you want a photo with your (mom/dad)?" or "Should I find your (mom/dad) if there are any problems during the reception." etc.  I think having it in the program ensured that no guests would be confused, but vendors don’t read the program.

Re: crying.  I’ve heard of brides who leave a chair empty and place flowers on it after they’ve walked up the aisle.  I didn’t want to do this, because the moment was about joy- not sadness.  But for some people that can be a real moment of joy- showing that that person is with me.

Post # 24
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2008

My Father passed away 2 years ago. At our wedding this past July we included a note in the program about him and then had a moment of silence during the ceremony for eveyone who was with us in sprit that day. I was perfect for me. I didn’t want anything too sad, but still wanted to rememebr him. This also gave us a chance to recognize in a subtle way, eveyone who wasn’t there that day.

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