(Closed) How are you splitting the holidays?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 32
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

My Fiance is Jewish so it works out great! 

His family doesn’t do anything for Thanksgiving (Canadian) as it’s usually right around Rosh Hashhanah.

Makes things much easier, though his family is close to where we live and mine is less than 2 hours away so if we did have to coordinate it wouldn’t be that bad.

Post # 33
5659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

The holiday’s are freaking exhausting for us since we started spending them together and trying to manage all the families. Thanksgiving we tend to rotate but my parents are divorced and unfortunately my dad tends to get stiffed more often than not : Since this year is my mom’s year we are going with her and my brother/SIL to her place in Palm Springs. YAY!

Christmas is when the real chaos begins. 

TYPICALLY we do “Christmas Eve” with my dad and step family the Saturday or so before Christmas. However the step sibs are out of the country for Christmas this year so I’ll robably have to make time for my dad the week of/weekend of christmas. Which is totally fine with me.

Mr Z’s parents, we do a dinner and “Christmas Eve” sometime the week of Christmas or week before.

Christmas eve, we spend with my mom’s side of the family

Christmas morning, we so far have continued to meet up with my mom again the next day and my brother/SIL to do breakfast and stockings etc….

Around 10am Mr Z’s family does a 3 hour drive to where grandma and some other relatives live where they spend probably 3 hours sitting around at grandma’s house staring at each other and then go to his aunt and uncles for dinner/wine/games/movies and a gift exchange. Then they spend the night. This is by far my least favorite part of Christmas, probably because I didn’t grow up doing it and I hate driving 3 hours on Christmas, and spending the night in someone else’s house. BUT we’ve decided the last few years that we refuse to leave that early and we leave around noon now, which eliminates most of the boring sitting around grandmas house time, and makes the morning much less stressful.

Post # 34
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

DH’s family hasn’t planned to do anything on Christmas day the last 3 years so I’m not banking on it this year! Last year we started doing Christmas Eve alone and are doing that again this year. We get take out, junky food, put on our lights, a christmas movie and have the coziest night in!

Christmas Day we are doing breakfast with my Mom and her husband. Then we will go visit his Grandmother around lunch time. And then late afternoon we are heading to my Dad’s and will have supper with him 🙂

Since his family don’t plan anything we have decided to host a turkey dinner/casual get together on the 22nd. I’m really looking forward to planning it!

Post # 35
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Our families live about 3 hours from each other. We’re an hour from mine and 2 hours from his in a little triangle. DH’s sister who lives several states away isn’t going to be here for actual Christmas, but instead she’s coming the weekend before. So, after reconfiguring my family’s normal plans to accomadate seeing both sides of the family, everything had to change from my original plan. So, we’re going to see DH’s family on the weekend before Christmas. Then we’re spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my family. This way actually works way better than having to travel on the holiday to go back and forth, but I would have felt bad making this plan since it seems uneven, so it works out that his family has to accomadate his sister. 

I’m hosting Thanksgiving this year at my house. I’ve invited my family and DH’s mom. Dh’s family mostly won’t be able to attend. His brother works on the oil rigs, so he’ll be gone, his dad works out of state, so he can’t come, one sister lives out of state and the other sister has to work. His mom may stay home with her mom and siblings, or come here. I probably won’t know if she’s coming until Thanksgiving Day knowing his family! 🙂

Post # 36
1863 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Some of the best advice we got before the wedding was “Don’t go to everything before you have kids, or they’ll expect you to be at everything after you have kids.”  It’s been hard, but it’s been good too.  Both sides of the family still get together with the extended family as well as immediate, so our holidays are pretty crazy sometimes. 

Thanksgiving Day is with DH’s family, Friday and Saturday of that weekend are with my dad’s family. 

For Christmas, we made it a rule last year that we would get at least 1/2 of either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day for just the two of us and when we have kids, that gets bumped to a full day and others can come to us.  So, this year we’re taking Christmas Eve morning/afternoon for us, that night is with DH’s immediate family.  The 25th is DH’s extended family, the 27th is my mom’s extended family and then Dec. 31-Jan 1 is with my immediate family.  We’re skipping my dad’s side of the family on the 26th since we’ll see them on Thanksgiving. 

Post # 37
4029 posts
Honey bee

We have been together for 10 years, married 3 1/2 months. We always do Thanksgiving with DH’s family (they live in our town) and Christmas/Holiday break with my family (they live in another state).

Post # 38
12246 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

His family gets Thanksgiving, mine gets Christmas!

Post # 39
1228 posts
Bumble bee

Gah, this exhausts me to think about.. Not married yet, but I definitely worry about holidays because family is very important to both of us, yet we don’t want to split up for holidays to see our families. The other day his mom wrapped up ornaments for us, and it really hit me how crazy it is that we will have our own tree together next year!

As far as holidays, we’ll have to split them. Selfishly, I’m hoping my parents move closer so we can always see them.

Post # 40
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@AnonymousCupcake:  Luckily the split is already done for us. December 24th/25th with my family and since his family is Orthodox, we will see them on January 6th and 7th!

I’m excited. It’s our first Christmas as an engaged couple Laughing

Post # 41
1060 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@AnonymousCupcake:  Xmas eve is always with DH’s family (and my parents usually pop in to say hi). Xmas day is always with my family/extended fam.

Boxing day is all to ourselves 🙂

Post # 42
32 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

We celebrate Thanksgiving with his parents as mine go to NC to visit my Aunt & Uncle, hopefully we’ll be able to go with them one of these years as long as our work schedules cooperate! We go to my grandparents for Christmas Eve dinner then breakfast at his parents on Christmas Day and then Christmas dinner at my parents which the in-laws usually come to. We’re very lucky that our parents get along and we can all celebrate together! 

Post # 43
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This year it’s his family in PHX for Thanksgiving and my fam in ICT for Christmas. Our son is 6 months old, so he’s pretty portable. I’m honestly looking forward to establishing some home time for holidays, though. When DS is older I want Christmas morning at home.

Post # 44
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We do Thanksgiving day with his family, and the Saturday after Thanksgiving with my family.  My family always has Thanksgiving that Saturday because of how big our family is and we also invite all friends of the family so it’s ultimately just easier on everyone because they don’t have numerous places to be on that Saturday.

Christmas is usually done at our house with his kiddos and my dad (folks are divorced and Mom doesn’t celebrate Christmas).  We’ll also usually try to get together with other friends/family around Christmas time since most people have off around that time.

Post # 45
2942 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Our normal Thanksgiving;

Lunch with my parents.  Dinner with the FI’s family.  My mom prefers lunch, FI’s family prefers dinner, and it’s only an hour and a half inbetween.

Last years;

My brother works for a football team that had a Friday after Thanksgiving game.  My parents came to my house for brunch, and then continued to spend the night where my brother was for the game.  We then went to FI’s family for Thanksgiving

This year;

Just my family as his is out of town.

Our normal Christmas;

My parents Christmas Eve, midnight mass with my parents, brunch with my parents, take off between 10:00 and Noon.  His parents for Christmas night, with a little time for us when we get back home between.  Extended family normally does something in the lead up weekends to Christmas or right after Christmas. 

This years Christmas;

Christmas Eve with his parents as his sister has to work Christmas night (works at a hospital) We are still trying to decide on logistics of when we leave to see my family, as I love midnight Mass at my church (I’m from a town of 88 people, but we pack 300+ in our little church for midnight pass.) 

Post # 46
11165 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@AnonymousCupcake:  We do every other holiday with my family as they live at the opposite end of the state.

To be honest I’m not happy about it. I don’t mind missing Thanksgiving with my family (which we are spending with my family this year) but Christmas is brutal. DH’s family lives literally a mile away, we see them all the time and they don’t do much on Christmas until dinner time…quick meal, presents, done! I hate giving up a whole day of fun and festivities that my family does for such a simple thing with DH’s family. It is a sore subject to say the least.

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