How are you splitting the wedding expenses? Who is paying for what?

posted 8 months ago in Logistics
Post # 2
9036 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

We as a couple paid for our wedding including bridal party attire. It is our choice as adults to get married and throw a party so we should be the one’s meeting the costs of that. Expecting parents to pay is outdated. If parents wish to contribute then that is fine, just as long as it is not expected/asked for.

Post # 3
47194 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999


chillbee29 :  The aticle says it is “traditional”etiquette. I suggest it is also very outdated, still refecting the days when many brides went straight from their parents’ home, to their husband’s.

My husband and I paid for everything.

Post # 5
47194 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

chillbee29 :  There’s a huge difference between parents giving money vountarily and specific expectations that they do so, and what they pay for.

Post # 7
2477 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Same as PPs…we paid for everything ourselves.

Post # 8
68 posts
Worker bee

I am about four years post-professional school and my fiancé worked for four years before going back to professional school full time. 

We’re splitting wedding expenses as follows:

I am paying for my dress, my bridesmaids dresses, and my shoes/accessories. 

My fiancé and I are paying for our honeymoon and anything we want for our wedding beyond what our parents have offered (should be minimal, no more than 6k). 

His parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner and flowers and liquor for the wedding. 

My parents are paying for everything else up to a certain dollar amount (approximately 2 to 2.5 times what his parents contribution for the wedding).

Our parents were happy to contribute to the wedding and we feel very lucky.

Post # 11
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Originally, my fiance and I were planning to pay 100% on our own for our wedding (and had been looking at dates in 2020 to give us extra time to save) but when my parents heard this, they graciously offered to pay for a huge chunk of the costs. I felt a lot of guilt at accepting the offer, but they really wanted to help and I think (weird as it sounds) it’s kind of bringing them some kind of weird parental joy to help out haha at least, that’s the vibe I get form them whenever we talk about wedding things. I was so grateful for their help, and the fact that it allowed us to move our wedding date up to 2019!

My fiance and I are paying for our officiant, cake, flowers, my & the bridesmaids’ hair and makeup, our outfits, our favors, our decor, and most of our honeymoon. We are also paying part of the cost of our photographer/DJ.

My parents are paying for our venue (it’s a DIY venue that just gives us the space), table/chair/tent rental, catering, and the rest of the cost of our photographer/DJ. They also gave us $1500 toward the cost of our honeymoon to cover our plane tickets (we are going on a cruise, but have to fly to another part of the country in order to leave!)

Essentially my parents have graciously offered to pay for the “big ticket items”, while my fiance and I are covering all the smaller details ourselves. Also, my fiance’s parents have offered to pay for our rehearsal dinner, which we gratefully accepted too 🙂 We are very grateful that we have this help!

Post # 13
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

We paid for most of it. Inlaws paid for alcohol in lieu of a present & my parents gave as $5000 as a present / go towards wedding 

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