How are you treated by your mil?

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 31
Member
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

The relationship with my Mother-In-Law is ….complicated. We get along great most of the time. We go to lunch and shopping together and used to work out together before I had kids. I also used to visit her without my DH and had my own set of keys to her house. BUT.. the relationship changed when I had my first baby. The big problem is she has a lot of opinions, and give them without me asking, and she is “racially and religiously insensitive”. She also oversteps and don’t respect me as the mother of my kids. I hate this. I’m black and Catholic, and she says things that offend me. Sometimes she realize this and would tell me, not to offend you but and then shit comes out of her mouth. I don’t like confrontation so I mostly let it go and don’t say anything. However I realised the more I kept my mouth shut, the worse she got. A couple of months ago we got into it, because she thinks it’s ridiculous she can’t call my daughter monkey just because she’s half black. I told her to not do this and she got offended. She wrote me a letter accusing me of all sorts of things and used our key she has for emergency to get in (we’re next door neighbours) and left it there. I told her before not to do this, the key is for emergencies only. She also texted my sister who reacted to the post on FB to tell her she was being disrespectful and to mind her own damn business. It took me a couple of weeks to calm down enough to talk. I was pregnant so I think the hormones made it worse. But she told me I can’t tell her what to do or not do in regards to my kids. And she refused to apologize to my sister. Turned the whole thing around to being miscommunication. So I put her in TO for about 2 months. She just got out of the TO and she has been behaving a lot better, almost perfect. So I think we’re getting back to the wonderful relationship we had before, with up and dows of course, because we’re human.

Post # 32
Member
711 posts
Busy bee

I love her and she always says love you. We live too far apart to do things together regularly but we always text or call to stay up to date with each other. We’ve also been on vacation with each other. 

Post # 33
Member
2349 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

My mother in law lives next door and she considers me to be the daughter she never had!

Post # 34
Member
6989 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

My Mother-In-Law is amazing. She treats me like a daughter, for the most part. And has told me she sees me as another daughter. We hang out without my husband and she’s super sweet and non judgmental. I think we have quite a bit in common separate from him and that helps, too.

Post # 35
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Oh boy. I would love to have my Mother-In-Law live nearby, but we live in Houston and they are in the UP of MI. I can say that she would absolutely want to have me over all the time and teach me how to quilt and talk until the cows came home about all sorts of things. She would want to tell me about how she’s cooking for herself on her new diet and show me recipes and get really excited about the baby coming in November. It would be really great to have my in-laws nearby. They’ll get to visit in January, though!

Post # 36
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

Mother-In-Law and I get along very well and she has always been very welcoming to me. She doesn’t have daughters. But it wouldn’t bother me at all if she did and she spent time alone with them, without me…they’re her children 🤷🏻‍♀️

Post # 37
Member
339 posts
Helper bee

My Mother-In-Law treats me like her own daughter! We go shopping together, and she would take me out for dinner with her daughter! She is a good woman, I am very fortunate!

Post # 38
Member
610 posts
Busy bee

Not married yet but no my Future Mother-In-Law does not treat me like family. However part of that is on me as I’m very quiet and anxious and don’t go out of my way either.  Like today she introduced my Fiance and two of his siblings to someone (at a grad party) and I was sitting there right next to her and she didn’t say anything about me. I think part of this is the fact that she’s not used to someone else in the family, my Fiance is the youngest of 4 and in his mid 30s is the only one in a relationship. One of his sisters was married for quite a few years but I guess the husband (now ex) never really came around, like kept to himself. So it’s just been their core family for like 50 years adding grandkids along the way. So I always feel like an outsider at family things. As for mother daughter days I don’t even have them with my own mom so I definitely have no interest in doing it with his. 

Post # 39
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

My mother in law and I have a very close relationship, we go together for manicures and pedicures on a monthly basis. We go out for lunch sometimes she will go alone with her daughters sometimes I also go sometimes it’s just her and I 

Post # 40
Member
9689 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Mine’s dead now, and l still miss her even though it’s several years since. She openly used to tell my h. that he was lucky to have me , so funny. 

PS , dear OP, commas, full stops , paragraphs pleeese ! So hard to read without. 

Post # 41
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My Mother-In-Law doesn’t live close to me but she absolutely loves me. She has two sons, and always wanted a daughter so she spoils me and BIL’s wife like crazy. Haha. And whenever we’re today we definitely go on mother daughter outings. She always takes me to get our nails done and we’ve gone to Disneyland just the two of us. It’s truly amazing. 

Post # 42
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

My future mother in law treats me amazingly, just like her own. I couldn’t ask for a better future Mother-In-Law. We get along so well as does my mother and her. They go out together as well. My family treats my fiancé great as does his to me. We are very lucky.

Post # 43
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee

I have an amazing relationship with my in-laws and I feel truly blessed to be marrying into a family who is so accepting and loving.  I really couldn’t ask for more.

Post # 44
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2019

I hit the Mother-In-Law jackpot 🙂 My fiance and I have been together for almost 10 years. Wedding is Sept 7/18. We have built a great relationship with eachother trough those years *Started dating FH when I was 15, he was 16* She is so sweet and not over bearing at all. I truly believe in the saying you marry your spouses family not just your spouse. She has a daughter of her own so I feel she never wants to make her jelous or feel left out by doing too much with me but that might change now that everything is offical *He popped the question yesterday* Hope we can now be even closer. I imagine when a grandchild comes along in the future we will spend more together as she wants to be as much involved as we would like her to be. 

cool

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