Post # 31
We have just added a small line to our invites, that the invite is for names guests only. As we are including some children not all (most of the children in my family are 4-5+ and I think children haivng fun makes a wedding, but 2 of my cousins have given birth this month and I will not be having 6 month olds crying in my ceremony) so we will name the children we wan’t and omit those we do not.
Post # 32
We put names of only the parents on the invites but now I’m getting feedback that some of them are planning on bringing their babies to the ceremony or even to the reception afterwards. Both of our venues are quite small and we don’t have the amenities to accommodate little children. Fiance doesn’t want to talk about this issue to the people concerned (they’re his family so I think he should be the one solving the problem) and says we should just get over it. I guess I will have to not pay attention to the crying as I say my vows. Just last weekend one of those kids vomited all over my couch and the parents didn’t even apologize, so yeah, I’m looking forward to the attractions on my wedding day. Although now I slightly regret trying to be diplomatic about the “adult only” event and not putting it in black and white for all to understand right away.
Long story short, just wanted to warn you that perhaps not everyone will get the message if you do it the polite way and address the invitations to the adults only…
Post # 33
I believe my daughter’s website said “We regret that we are unable to invite, nor can we accomodate, guests under the legal drinking age of 21.” It probably helped that the ceremony was at the same venue, in a smaller, upstairs ballroom.
Unless it was a hand-held infant, such as a newborn in a sling, they’d have to be added to the guest count. A high chair, or providing a chair to attach a car seat or baby carrier to, added to the occupany numbers. It also added to the number of chair covers, centerpieces, and tablecloths, which averaged over $20 per seat, even if they could eat off their parents plate.
Post # 34
We had no problem having children at the ceremony and a few people took the opportunity to bring them. The reception was a different story so we added:
“Adults only reception to follow.”
We are lucky, nobody questioned this but we also let people know our intentions for an adults only affair before they even received invites so they knew to plan accordingly. Our friends with kids were thrilled for a night out, child-free!
We had a few underage family members there (DH’s teenaged cousins) but nobody else needed to know that. We addressed their invitations to all of their names specifically and made sure their parents knew they were an exception.
Post # 35
I understand some consider it an etiquette no-no to directly address it on invitations, but my fiance and I know our families well and they would not take the hint if we only addressed the envelopes accordingly. So, we are…
1. We will be stating on our invitation that it is an adult-only evening. We haven’t gotten our wording down quite yet, but it will probably be along the lines of “Respectfully, an adult only occassion”.
2. Our RSVPs look like concert tickets, so on the ticket, we’ve said “Admit __ (this number will be filled in by us) Adults“, a space for attendee names and then check boxes for accept or decline.
3. Our moms have been spreading the word like crazy, so hopefully this helps. However, I just attended my cousin’s adult only wedding two weeks ago and people still brought their children, so we are expecting to run into some challenges. Her invitations and RSVPs were quite clear as well.
Post # 36
After MUCH discussion with my fiance, here is how we are dealing with this issue.
The invitations are only addressed to the people we are inviting specifically.
The RSVP option is only for up to 2 guests. We are using RSVPify.com but if you are using cards then you can say something about reserving 1 or 2 seats.
Our wedding website states that the venue is not child friendly.
If we get specific questions then we will explain. (We are renting a place at the beach and there are steep stairs as well as beach access so we don’t want people to have to worry about their children falling or drowning…)
This seems to be a way to not put it on the invitations which I really didn’t want to do.