(Closed) How bad is it if the MOH skips the rehearsal?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Is it a big deal that MOH is missing my rehearsal?
    Yes, that's ridiculous : (19 votes)
    70 %
    No, you're over-reacting : (6 votes)
    22 %
    Other : (2 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    2143 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’m going to put other because I don’t think you’re overreacting per ce. I think it’s understandable to feel a little down about it and stuff, but as long as you tell her what she missed out on I think it will be ok. If things don’t go exactly as they should, it’s ok. it doesn’t have to be PERFECT and if that is what you are expecting, you will have a very stressfilled day. Even if you have to kind of smash the bouquet into her hands, she’ll get it and grab them from you. Our wedding ceremony wasn’t totally perfect, but I absolutely loved it and wouldn’t have changed anything. It’ll be ok if she isn’t there, imo.

    Post # 4
    4480 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

    I think you’re right and she’s right. 🙂 It’s totally annoying when crucial attendants can’t make things like a rehearsal because it means you need to make sure that they know what to do the day of. But if she’s already using her vacation time, it’s probably hard for her to get another half-day and I see where she is coming from… and honestly, it may be annoying to get her up to speed, but it will take all of fifteen seconds.

    Post # 5
    349 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    See, this kind of thing bothers me, and I definitely voted that this is ridiculous.

    I’m NOT in favor of abusing wedding party members by having them do your favors for you, assemble programs, and overall, be your slave for a year before the wedding. In fact, I believe a bride should do what she can to make it easy on the girls. I let my girls pick their own dresses, shoes, and I even picked up all the dresses for them and mailed them out so they didn’t have to worry about it. I didn’t ask for a shower or b’ette party, either, because honestly, I didn’t want either. However, I DO expect them to be there for all wedding related events, including the rehearsal dinner. We gave everyone in our wedding party plenty of notice, and when they accepted the position, we made it very clear we where we needed them and when. If my Maid/Matron of Honor (my sister) said she couldn’t cleave a few hours earlier to be there for the rehearsal, I’d be really upset and probably angry about it. Yeah, they do have to take a day off work, but they knew that ahead of time, and honestly, they were happy to do it (my girls are all family).

    I’m not sure what’s going on with your Maid/Matron of Honor. I read your other posts, and all I can say is that I’m really sorry this is happening, and that I don’t think you’re wrong to feel hurt and upset.

    Post # 6
    796 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    It is frustrating, and definitely stressful, and I don’t want to say you are over-reacting, but I think it will turn out better than you think it will. The other bridesmaids will be able to step in and help you, either by filling her in or just taking care of it on the day-of.

    Post # 9
    3162 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I think it’s fair to tell her – Look, if you can’t be at the rehearsal, you’re not going to know what you need to do, and Maid/Matron of Honor duties at the wedding itself are more complicated than the other BMs so I can’t have you up there as Maid/Matron of Honor not knowing what you’re doing. Do you think your sister could handle the ceremony duties even though she’s 8 months pregnant? Maybe you could arrange something so she could be seated for part of it? You can’t and SHOULD NOT be responsible for doing an extra run through just for her on the day of your wedding. Would some of your BMs maybe be willing to walk her through it on the day of if you absolutely refuse to demote her? You need your Maid/Matron of Honor of all people to know what they are doing up there.

    Post # 10
    96 posts
    Worker bee

       Is your sister willing to stand beside you for the ceremony? I know everyone’s limit is different while pregnant, (I worked 56 hours a week as a retail manager in a large store all the way up until three days before my daughter was born but some people cannot.) she may be just fine standing up with you. It’s not a very long time to stand up, just don’t lock those knees! If she feels like she better not, I think letting your Maid/Matron of Honor know that you wanted to make sure things went smoothly and to take a bit of the pressure off her so you are having a different bridesmaid stand beside you. (Maybe making it about her will be beneficial for you!) Hopefully she’ll understand that. Afterall it’s not because you don’t "like her" but you wanted to relieve the stress for her and make it a good day for everyone.

     Good luck and I hope everything goes fantastic!

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