Post # 1
One of my best friends who lives about 4 hours away is getting married next year and I am a bridesmaid. I love her to death and I want to be a good bridesmaid. There is a “get-together”this weekend for the groomsmen and bridesmaids at her place and I am supposed to be going just for a day. (This is normal, I typically visit with her for one day) However, I have had a ocular ulcer for several weeks that is slowly getting better (think red, watery eye, sensitive all the time), I have also just started a new job and its been very stressful (probably had a hand in the ocular ulcer…which is caused by stress) and I’m also fighting off a cold. I want to be there for my friend but this is coming at a very difficult time for me personally.
Do I suck it up for the day (the only time I will really have to myself to recooperate from the week) or do I tell her that i love her dearly, I’ll wear any dress she chooses but I cant make it?
Post # 3
I would go. You have already committed and it’s late in the week to be canceling.
Post # 4
I feel like if you are a close enough friend to be in her wedding she should be close enough to understand you are sicl and just can’t come.
Post # 5
tell her you can’t make it and why. If she is a good friend she will understand.
Post # 6
if you’re sick, you’re sick. I’m sure she’d rather see you heathly than sick and miserable. Maybe when you tell her see if she ewants to get together another weekend with just you and her?
Post # 7
It sounds to me like you just don’t want to go. *shrug*
Post # 8
If you’re truly too sick to go, don’t go. I’m sure she would understand. If not and you just don’t want to go and are using being sick as an excuse, I’d try and make it.
Post # 10
Stay home. It’s hardly the end of the world if you miss one get together for a wedding that’s not until next year. Sounds like you could use the rest and time to heal. She should understand.
Post # 11
Maybe if you decide not to go you could send her a small bouquet or something saying you wished you could be there and look forward to the next time you all get together?
Post # 12
Me being sick is at the point where, if I stay home, I could get better faster and if I push myself too hard and go, I could make myself worse.
I have to be honest, but I hope my fellow Bees are openminded and respect my opinion. I dont want to go. I love my friend and I love visiting her….but when I go to these wedding related things, its not her and me time…its me her and everyone else time. I dont like picking myself up and traveling 4 hours back and forth to see her for a day and spend that time with other people that I dont really know/like. They’re okay but its not a friendship like she and I have. I also dread this wedding stuff. I am engaged myself and I am eloping. The more entrenched in wedding stuff I get, the more I hate the Bridesmaid or Best Man stuff. I am typically a pretty traditional person but I can wrap my head around asking my friends to stop their lives for me and wear the same outfit and spend all this money on dress shoes hotel etc. and a miami bachelorette party! I mean, if she said “lets take a vacation to miami” id be psyched but I dont like that its some sort of pre-requisite. please dont flame me, its just my opinion, i dont begrudge my friend her perogative to have a big wedding.
that said/end rant, she is a very good friend and I will be in this wedding and I will do everything with a smile on my face. but right now I just want to be in bed. 🙁
Post # 13
TBH, if you were my bridesmaid and you were sick, I would NOT want you there to potentially infect everyone else. Not to say I wouldn’t appreciate your company, but I would appreciate you keeping your germs to yourself 😉 Stay home!
Post # 14
Uhhh, just because it’s wedding related does not mean it supercedes your health and well being…I would call her and let her know that your eye is jacked up, your tired and that you’ve got wild dogs snapping at your rear end at work…it’s ok, really. Don’t make things worse by pushing it, we all need a little down time every now and again!
Post # 15
So you’ve had your eye problem for several weeks — are you going to work every day? Driving every day? It sounds a little bit to me like you are trying to avoid participating in the “life” of your friend’s wedding –and perhaps are using your long-standing eye problem as an excuse. It sounds like your friend is trying to be nice and caring. Special events ahead of the wedding help to build relationships between the participants and build and strengthen bonds of friendship. If you are already feeling “separate” from the other participants, and uncomfortable sharing your visiting time with her, you might want to consider whether the bridesmaid thing is right for you. There will be more events just like this in the coming months, and if you are already dreading bridal things, get out now! I know for me, I wouldn’t want a Bridesmaid or Best Man that I sensed was negative and felt like I had to pull teeth to get her involved in things.
Post # 16
If you’re sick you’re sick, a good friend will understand. I had a bridesmaid’s get together, my sister forgot about it and was not in town on the day. I was mildly miffed but that was it and was over it in a day. Anyone saying that not going is a terrible thing is in my opinion being a bit of a bridezilla. Call her to tell her though and give as much notice as possible.