(Closed) How "bad" of a ring would your SO have to give you for…

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 77
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t like square cut diamonds with halos. They annoy me. If he had gotten me one I would have serously wondered if he actually knew me at all. The only other thing taht would make me want a different ring would be if it had a pave band. I would love the ring, but I wouldn’t be able to wear it a lot of the time out of fear of the diamonds falling out.

Post # 78
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

This is a tough call – great question.

I know I don’t need to worry because we’ve had the ring talk and he cares about what I want it to look like. 

I just feel like I will never be in this situation, I’m with someone I love and knows me and my style and we share similiar taste. 

If everything got all backwards land and I got a gold ring with a coloured stone I’d probably say something. It would be hard, but there’s no way I’d wear that for life. 

If it was just gold, I’d probably explore getting it dipped, after awhile, luckily we both don’t like gold. 

I also am in the moissy camp, I made it be known a few months after we met that I didn’t want a diamond. 


Post # 79
1811 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Oh man, I am SUPER PICKY. I would’ve been disappointed if my ring was lower in color/size/clarity, but in order for me to be like “We need to fix this”…I’d say that if the stone was yellowish, had visible inclusions, set in a clunky setting, if it weren’t a diamond, if it were a cluster, or if it had anything involving channel setting or a princess cut. I also dated Fiance for 6 years before a proposal, so he was 100% correct in asking me to pick it out, because if he screwed up he would’ve been sorry haha

Post # 80
6255 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@sheepandbear:  ugh love that. Check out the Cartier one!!

Post # 81
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Well we went shopping together and found a few styles we both liked, so if it was different I would be upset that he disregarded our discussions. But now the more rings I see on WB, the more styles I love.

I used to dislike gold and he knew that so I’d probably be like, why? 

Post # 82
9659 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

I like to think that the communication in our relationship is at a point where (A) he would consult me about big purchases, especially ones that will spend a lifetime on my finger and (B) if I did not have a say in it or like it I could easily voice my concerns to him and he would listen.

That being said, a ring from a previous thread comes to mind on what would constitute need for a change – something completely impractical. I felt horrible for the girl that received this ring because her Fiance designed it himself, and it sits an INCH off her finger.

I also wouldn’t be happy if Fiance didn’t get me the center stone I wanted. I would’ve been upset if he got me a diamond, CZ, or gemstone… all because I knew I wanted a moissy. If he would’ve gotten me something different, he would have for sure heard about it… 

Additionally, if the ring is a complete disaster – like my ring that I picked out!

My first e-ring dropped stones like that was it’s purpose. Even after repairs it continued to loose pave because it was so poorly made (it ended up getting discontinued). 

I had to tell my Fiance that even though I helped pick the ring I would 100% need a new one (after the company refunded my money and didn’t return the ring). It was a difficult conversation for us to have, but it obviously wasn’t my fault and the situation was out of my control. We worked together to redesign a ring similar to my first, but better. In the end it all worked out. Here’s my before and afters:



Post # 83
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 1994

@freshflowers:  I was given three rings before I found one acceptable.  

Post # 84
2766 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

We got engaged without a ring, in that we talked and made the decision to get married. When I told him I did want a ring, he decided that we should do the whole ring/proposal/waiting (ugh) shebang!

Right off the bat, I had him build what he thought was an appropriate ring on BlueNile, and then I laughed in his face! …but we have that kind of easy and frank relationship. 

So if he had gotten me a stone smaller than ~6.5mm, on a tapered band, in platinum, I would have said, “this is the reason why you don’t make big purchases on your own when you’re in a partnership.”  

Post # 85
1811 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@letigre:  That is such a good idea…I wish I would have made Fiance do that on Blue Nile, just for shits and giggles. I probably would have laughed at him too…guys can just be so clueless 🙂

Post # 86
848 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I would only ask to change my ring if it was impractical – high setting that scratches or gets caught in things… We chose my ring together and apart from having white gold, a low and very practical setting was all I cared about. Because I do wear this all the time, never take it off, and we have a very active lifestyle.

Post # 87
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

If I didn’t like my engagement ring I would definitely exchange it, no question about it. I want to like what I’m wearing everday for the rest of my life.

I helped pick out my ring but if he would have gotten me what he WOULD have gotten me had he had no help…it would have been exchanged.

Post # 89
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Also, this does not apply in my situation because like I said, I helped pick out my ring.

BUT, I could see it being an issue if the guy bought a CZ, moissanite, somethingnotdiamond and it was not discussed prior. That could get interesting….

Post # 90
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I was involved in ring hunting from the get-go, so there was no chance of Fiance picking something I wouldn’t like.  He had wanted silver at first, which I wasn’t comfortable with since he also believes in no upgrades.  That was about the only thing that he wanted that made me hesitate.  I really wanted a clear stone, he wanted colour, but either way, I would’ve been happy.  I ended up with a cluster, which seems to be a lot of folks’ deal breaker, but I couldn’t be happier with it.  It is super sparkly, it is super pretty, and no-one’s said a word to the contrary in real life.

Post # 91
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Anything too delicate to wear for life, any pot metal, anything that makes my size 7 finger look even larger. 

Also, no e-ring and just a plain band that I must wear forever by itself. My husband is all about simplest function. I love sparkle, and also a plain band makes my finger look bigger. 

I don’t do expensive clothes, shoes, and he has the main say in all the house stuff. Jewellery is my thing 🙂

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