(Closed) How "bad" of a ring would your SO have to give you for…

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 92
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

If I didn’t think it was at least a 7 out of 10, then I’d want a new one.

I know, I’m terrible.

But, the caveat is that I wouldn’t at all mind chipping in to upgrade it. Heck, I did that with my current ring. We both saved for my ring for 1.5yrs while were worked part-time minimum wage jobs.

Post # 93
2884 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@FutureDrAtkins:  Your “after” ring is SOO incredible πŸ™‚

I’m really happy it all worked out for you and the whole terrible experience ended up leading to a beautiful upgrade.


Post # 94
2449 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@freshflowers:  If my DH had presented me with a “unique” or “off-beat” ring and it wasn’t to my liking, I think I would ask him the story behind it, first.

If there was a meaning/gesture/importance behind a particular ring that wouldn’t be my initial taste, it’s something that I might learn to love- because there’s a story behind it.

Answers like:

“I’m lazy and I didn’t know what else to get”

“I didn’t want to spend much money” (don’t take this out of context- my rings cost A LOT less than a lot of Bee’s–I mean it in a child’s play jewelry type of way)

“I didn’t put much thought into it”

“I don’t know what I was doing” (and didn’t bother to reach of for help from ANYONE


Those are answers that would likely make me completely dislike the ring- and have a bad association to it, even if he proposed with it.



Post # 95
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@freshflowers:  I would be OK with not having a ring at all.  I like mine, and I am glad he bought them for me, but I would not have said “no” to him if he had not giving me a ring and had just said “let’s get married.” 

Post # 96
7414 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@freshflowers:  Honestly – I wanted a diamond, and I wanted white gold (not silver) and I really wanted a halo.  There are a few rings that I would not be a fan of – but if FH gave me one of those then I’d question how much he listens to me.  I can’t imagine him getting me a ring that I would hate enough to ask to change it. We ultimately picked it together.

Post # 97
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

I love gemstones and I love color.  If my Fiance had given me a ring with only clear stones and no color, it would absolutely not have been what I would have picked for myself (although I would still love it I’m sure).  I favor jewelry with unique colors and details…the more unique, the more I like it.  My Fiance knew this too which is why he picked a ring with aquamarine accents.

Post # 98
9673 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

@MrsSkeletonKey:  Thank you so much!! It definitely all worked out in the end πŸ™‚ It was the first “test” of our engagement and I think we both handled it pretty well.

Post # 99
2842 posts
Sugar bee

@freshflowers:  I cannot learn to love things that I just don’t. My ex gave me two pieces of jewelry in the entire 8 years we were together. They were horrible. The earrings had dangly hearts that said “I love you” inside the heart. Don’t start thinking about some sweet shiny gold hearts. They were hideous and obviously meant for a teenager. Although when I tried to give them to my 10 year old daughter she said “No thanks” lol. The bracelet was just as bad. So I just never wore them because it would have been embarrassing to wear them.

An e-ring, I want to wear everyday, so I would have to at least like it a lot. So for that reason I just took the possibility that I wouldn’t like it out of the equation and picked it out myself.

Post # 100
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We went ring shopping together and used a heirloom stone but if he was picking it out on his own and chose a colored stone, I would not have been thrilled. I think some colored stone rings are absolutely lovely but for something I wear every day, I would want something I could wear with any color outfit or nail color or any other jewelry I own.

Post # 101
909 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

A ring that was clearly cloudy (visibly low clarity) or poorly cut would have me upset, as would anything in a color I wouldn’t personally love in my engagement ring (lime green, bright pink, etc, there are gorgeous rings in these colors but they just aren’t something I would love wearing daily).  It could have had no stones and beautiful metalwork though and I would have been just fine, as long as the metal was quality, I made that mistake the first time when I picked out my e-ring… never again! I would also have been upset if it were small, I don’t ever wear small rings since I don’t like how they look on my hand and I would not have been happy with a small engagement ring or wedding set.  

Post # 102
2635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Luckily, I picked out my own ring, since I’m the one who did the proposal πŸ˜‰ I’m a go-getter and am not afraid to break through societal norms. My Fiance wore an engagement band in white gold actually, πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Before getting engaged, my partner gave me a small solitaire in yellow gold. It was the opposite of my style, completely. I find material things we wear do speak for us, they express a part of who we are. This ring was so out of my style, that even work colleagues made comments such as: “this ring really surprises me on your hand”. Yup, I know. I tried wearing it out of courtesy and because I truly did appreciate the symbol of love that came with it, but I could not. I told my SO and he was totally fine with me selling the ring and getting a pendant instead. Hehe, he rocks!!!! I now wear that pendant everyday, and I link it back to him, even though I picked it out. 

Post # 103
408 posts
Helper bee

This was not too much of an issue for me. He knew well enough to let me custom design my own…it felt so meaningful – I am not sure how I would feel if he went out and bought one but I would probably love it because he did it. No strong ring feelings, just don’t like moissy rings for myself or soft stones

Post # 104
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

All of these replies are shocking to me.


My ring was a gift. I don’t think I’d have the guts to say to someone “it’s not to my standards” and expect a new one. I’m much more focused on our relationship than an item that sits on my finger. (Also probably why I’m so happy it was bought on Black Friday and under $1000).


And really, any person who expects someone to know their exact ring preference is silly. I think most women figured out that they throw their SOs some hints to prevent any “holy ugly” moments.


Honestly, my diamond is probably cloudy and not a perfect cut but I don’t know the difference lol. Ignorance is bliss πŸ™‚

Post # 105
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I have my dream ring! I was pretty much in charge of what I got. When we discussed marriage, we discussed what ring I would like. Like a previous poster, there was something wrong with the original ring I got that was not my fault. Anyway, I am so happy that it lead to my current ring, I am different from some of the bees on here. I did not want a solitare, I have seen it sooo many times. I follow the beat the of my own drum, and I just wanted there to be more to look at than just the center. I think yellow gold is ok, but not for my e-ring. I wanted a diamond. I didn’t consider a colored diamond for myself, although I have seen some amazing fancy colored ones. I did not even know what a halo was at the time, but both the original and my dream ring had one! I discovered that I disliked a thin band when wearing the original one. That ring was always doing a 360 spin if I felt cold (which is often). My current band is thick and it just feels more durable. I also wanted a certain total carat weight, which both rings met. Everything was within my FI’s budget, which we also talked about prior to looking for rings.

With all of that being said, on the bee as well as some other places, I have seen at least one ring in every cut, color, thickness, and style that I love Laughing!!!! I am glad I did not see any of those bad boys when we were shopping, I would have had such a hard time choosing one!

Post # 106
7813 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@freshflowers:  Mine wasn’t very expensive, so maybe that’s why. I did give him a cap of what he could spend but I was excited to see what he chose on his own too. It was fun. Now that we make more money, he wants to upgrade and I am adamantly against it. I just don’t see the value. I’d rather upgrade our boat! 

View original reply
@mrspinesol:  Of course it’s not everyone. However, I didn’t even know the upgrading concept existed or that people switched their rings until I came to this site. It wouldn’t even occur to me to focus on that. I’m too happy about the marriage. To each their own. It’s not my relationship, so what do I care πŸ˜› 

View original reply
@Steampunkbride:  What a refreshing attitude! That’s why I tend to ignore the ring boards. I read the threads to my husband sometimes and his jaw drops. I don’t understand the sense of entitlement. It’s a symbol of marriage, not a fashion accessory or status symbol. At least for me.  

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