Post # 1
My emotions aren’t always rational so I just wanted to guage how you guys would feel in this situation.
My friend recently went through a tough breakup and she wanted to go out and have some drinks to distract herself. We woud up taking foever to get ready so we didn’t even get to the bar until about 9:45. We told my SO we’d just get a quick drink, but we wound up bonding and drinking a lot more, staying out really late. I didn’t hear my phone, so SO called me and I didn’t pick up. We didn’t do anything with guys, really all we did was talk to each other. When I got home, SO was furious because apparently he had asked me to come home in time to help him clean the house (we have guests coming) and I had totally forgotten about that.
I’ve apologized profusely and he still seems mad. He’s stayed out late SO many times, so I don’t know why it’s a different standard for me. But I guess I still feel awful about it. I can’t stop feeling guilty.
Post # 3
@anon00: Guys sometimes are like that and won’t just admit they’re a)jealous b)nervous about you being out without them. If he stays out late all of the time, yet got mad when you did, I think there’s a possibility he was feeling insecure.
Does he answer the phone when he’s out late? He could have been upset you didn’t.
Post # 4
@anon00: I’m obviously speculating here, but I doubt that he is angry with you for staying out late in general. It’s probably the fact that you told him you wouldn’t be out late and he was counting on you being home for something. I understand why he would be upset about it (in fact I’ve been upset with my SO for the same thing), but honestly he should have gotten over it by now.
Post # 5
@badabing88: I would have answered if I saw my phone but the bar was loud and I was totally unaware. I’ve apologized for that. He didn’t seem worried or upset, just angry. I’ve apologized so much, I don’t know what else I can do.
Post # 6
Guys are so sensitive. They do something, then rush us to forgive. We do something it’s like the apocalypse! If you apologized profusely and you meant it, I just say give it a little time so he can get over himself and don’t let it happen again.
Post # 7
@lina010: Thanks. Yeah, he’s delayed his time going out so many times (oh, i’ll be home at 8…wait never mind, more like 10…12…etc)
I think he’s mainly pissed because he had to clean the house and I wasn’t around to help. It seems like almost all our fights involve cleaning. I kind of want to just get him a maid.
Post # 8
I totally get why he’s mad, because I flip out at DH (or my friends, or my mom, or ANYBODY) when they don’t answer their phones (I tell DH that he can stay out as late as he wants, he’s an adult, just text me if it’s going later than you originally said so I’m not at home thinking you’ve been raped and murdered and thrown in a ditch because that’s where my mind goes every time).
That said, I also get over it quickly. I yell, he says sorry, you’re right, it’s over. He has every right to be upset, but it’s not THAT big of a deal, he should grow up and get over it quicker.
Post # 9
shit happens, he needs to get over it and so do you.
Post # 10
Haha, I do the same thing to my husband if he doesn’t answer his phone! It’s completely silly on my part, but I get all of those “worst case scenarios” running through my head if he’s later than he says he’s going to be and doesn’t pick up!
As others said, just give him some time to get over himself. Maybe have a talk with him about the situation, and come up with a solution as to what to do if that were to happen again.
Post # 11
Ahh he will get over it. I can understand why he was pissed; but it’s certainly not the end of the world.
Post # 12
I would have texted him to let him know I was staying out later. Note that I wouldn’t ask permission but I think it’s courteous to let someone know if plans change. That being said what happened happened and you apologized. I think after that he should let it go.
Post # 13
I’ll be honest, if I were him, I’d be pissed too. There are guests coming over and you promised to help clean, and be back soon, and then you stay out later and don’t even let me know you’re alive? Yep. That’s a recipe for instant anger for me.
How would you feel in his place?
That said, if there was a legit apology, I’d get over it quickly. Unless it was something like “I don’t know why you’re mad, you stay out late.” Um, not the point of my anger. See above.
Post # 14
@Apple_Blossom: I totally get it. Although weirdly, he didn’t seem to care or get concerned about my safety, which kind of upset me. he was just inconvenienced. I feel like if he did what I did, I wouldn’t even care about the house, I’d just be worried about him.
Post # 15
@anon00: ….I would tell him to shut up about it….good nights out are few and far between, everyone’s entitled to theirs and since he’s had his share, he should be more than happy to Mop n Glo while you tie one on since all’s fair in love and war