Post # 1
One of my neighbor’s kids has a broken arm. AGAIN. This is the 3rd time I know of that he’s had a broken arm.
Pardon if I come off “judgy”, it’s not my intent, but I really think it’s because of the parents!
#1 – They eat crappy food. I know what they eat because the mom has a blog about couponing and posts her grocery haul every week.
#2 – They don’t let the kid play! They have a small A-frame swingset in their backyard, and they yell at him for “swinging too high” if he’s moving more than 45* from the start position of the swing. He doesn’t get to play differently at school because he’s homeschooled. All they let him do is walk around the yard and barely move on the swing. (Not related to exercise, but related to being over-protective: Last 4th of July one of my neighbors invited all of us in the cul-de-sac over for a cookout; the parents of the boy in question wouldn’t even let him do the pull-string party-poppers that the people hosting the BBQ had provided for the kids to play with!)
The neighbors are good people, but I think they are physically (and socially) harming their kid by being SO overprotective of him!
Kids need to play!
Post # 3
@abbyful: This is a beautiful example of why I am NOT having children of my own. I know with absolute certainty that I would be the same way, or worse. I simply do not have the strength in me to do the kid thing.
Post # 4
Everyone would be the perfect parents until they have kids of their own. Honestly, I do see your point, but this is part of the reason why being a parent is so freakin difficult. Everyone seems to have a negative opinion of everything a parent does, even if they are doing the absolute best they can however that may be.
Post # 5
While I agree kids need to play. I don’t think what you have posted gives any justification that they are the cause of his broken arm. Maybe this is the reason the do limit what he does, he might just be an injury prone child.
Post # 6
Yup. My brother was a DISASTER growing up, he would walk into things, fall out of trees, injure himself. Finally my mom was just like “No actually, you cannot have a tree house, go play with your train set” haha
Post # 7
I agree. Growing up I always had some sort of inury and my parents were not over protective at all. I was just one of those “dare devil” type kids. At one point I was taken aside by Children Services at the ER because they thought I may be getting abused. That was after I broke my ankle then with my cast on I attempted to climb up a basketball hoop fell and fractured my elbow all in the same week. Being a parent is hard and I can understand why the parents would be over protective it’s hard being a Mom and I find myself doing this with DS he is so much like me when I was little that it terrifies me. I know we are going to have many ER visits in our future (We already have quite a few under our belt).
Edit: I also wanted to add my broken ankle was from a swingset. I was jumping from the top of a picnic table to the swingset and trying to grab onto the metel bar that goes across the top of it. Also most of DS’s injuries have come from our backyard playground equipment and our little indoor slide (now it is put away).
Post # 8
My younger daughter was the same way, and if people didn’t know any better, they’d assume she was a battered child. She always had bruises and skinned knees and was always pushing the limits. We had a huge play gym and the rules were that no one was allowed on the very top unless an adult was around. What happened as soon as you turned away? Yep. Fell from the top and got a concussion. Knocked off the swing by our overly rambunctious Lab….got stitches in her cheek when she flipped over and we found out he’d chewed the cover caps off the screws that held the gym together. Pushed her right into it and tore a hole in her cheek that required stitches and plastic surgery.
This kid might just be falling all the time in the house, and the swingset is a disaster area for him.
Post # 9
@MrsMeNow – There are scientific studies out there that show what they are doing significantly increases the kid’s risk of injury.
Junk food (not enough calcium, vitamin D, etc), doesn’t build strong bones. It does the opposite.
And when you don’t have any resistance or physical impact on your bones, your bones are weaker. Studies have shown more and harder play = better bone mass. http://www.pedsforparents.com/articles/2798.shtml
My mom has seen it too. She’s been in public education for 30-some years now. She’s told me when she started, there would rarely be kids with broken bones, now they barely fall down and their bones snap. She’s also seen it coorelate to changes within schools, such as replacing whole milk with skim and replacing old playground equipment with “safe” equipment.
I don’t think this kid is just “accident prone”, I’ve seen him in his yard, he’s rough and tumble by any means, his parents won’t even let him run or play with the neighborhood kids. (All the kids will be in the cul-de-sac playing, he’ll be sitting on his swing watching from afar. And it’s not that they don’t get along, on the rare occasion his parents do let him out of the yard, like on the 4th of July, the kids get along well.)
I know the parents have the best intentions for him, I just feel really bad for the kid.
I know what several of you are saying about being bruised and battered during childhood, I was the same way. I grew up on a farm and was always covered in bruises and scraped up from playing. (To the point my parents called my teachers several times to explain why I was coming to school looking like I had been beaten, LOL!)
Post # 10
No matter what…you still don’t know what goes on inside their home and are assuming he lives on garbage. He may also have a medical condition that you aren’t aware of or a deficiency that they are dealing with as well.
It’s easy to judge when you don’t know the whole story.
Post # 11
I agree completely.
My niece makes me a nervous wreck because I’m so worried she’ll get hurt. This is one of the reasons I’m CBC. I completely understand why these parents do this, and I’d likely be worse if I was responsible for a little one full time. My nerves/heart simply could not take it. Constant terror and panic would probably shave years off my life.
Post # 12
@smyley – My intended point was to use this kid only as one example of what seems to be happening on a large-scale with kids across the country.
(Though I will always think not even letting him do a party-popper is way too overprotective and sheltering.)
These are the party-poppers I’m referring to:
Post # 13
I always wondered about the health implications of “Extreme Couponing”. I’m sure there are some healthy things you can get and store but a lof of times it just seems like people are buying mostly junk.
Post # 14
Interesting tid-bit: I work at a children’s hospital. Our “Child Life” department did a survey and one of the questions was about playing.
Scary result: Nearly 100% of kids said “playing” was something inside, like video games.
When we were kids, I’m sure most of us would have considered playing to be something outside: riding bikes, playing tag, playing on playground equipment, jumping rope, etc.
Post # 15
- Wedding: May 2020 - establishment theatre
to me as a parent of three children ages 6,4, and 3, two of which are boys..i find this post kinda judgemental, you have no idea what caused the broken bones and it may be the parents are strict and over protective is because the child is accident prone. you have no proof to say the parents in anyway caused the injury. not only that but i dont let my children swing really high because the swingset we had is an A frame metal one and those are known to tip over( we no longer have the swingset) but also because going to high its easy for a child to decide to just hop off and end up really hurt. my middle child is injury prone whenever i take him to preschool i have to explain every bump and bruise and scrape because the time we live in everyone just automatically assumes the parents are abusing the child. its ridiculous. without sounding to harsh but is it really any of your business? let parents be parents and unless you see them physically hurting the child, mind your own.
Post # 16
I think it’s best to let parents raise their children the way they chose, as long as they aren’t abusing them, it’s really no one’s business. I would remember that when you have your baby and you are being judged, getting questioned, or getting lots of friendly advice, that you too judged someone else for their parenting decisions.