How best to correct SO

posted 9 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
9044 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I think in the context of the conversation there was nothing out of line with his comment. I think you were being oversensitive and owe him an apology.

Post # 3
242 posts
Helper bee

I get what he was trying to say and I wouldn’t have been offended. 

Post # 5
1143 posts
Bumble bee

Well, it IS a fact that men can have children longer than women. I don’t see how mentioning that in a reasonable context is going to insult anyone. 

If there were a woman in the room unable to have children due to early menopause, it would be insensitive. But considering the setting and topic of conversation, I think you were the only one upset.

You owe him an apology. Cold shouldering him at a party? Leaving right away? Just to argue over something that wasn’t wrong of him? Yeah. 

Post # 7
5565 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I have no idea why you reacted so badly.  How was that insensitive to every woman in the room?

and told him that the subject of men being able to have children longer was not one that should be talked about at parties.

You are way overreacting, he made one comment.

Post # 8
242 posts
Helper bee

lauralaura123 :  it kind of offended me that you mentioned his health status more than anything, implying someone with this condition would say something so “offensive”. That is how I read it. Hopefully this situation won’t repeat itself. 

Post # 9
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

Major overreaction on your part. I would have laughed if I would have heard his comment.  

Post # 10
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

lauralaura123 :  you’re hypersensitive maybe because you said you can’t have kids? I strongly suspect this is more about you than him. 

Post # 11
4060 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think his comment needs “correcting”. 

It’s certainly not fair, but it is true. I understand that it’s a sensitive topic for you, but what he said is factual, and wasn’t about you.

Post # 12
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

I have unexplained infertility and that comment doesn’t upset me in any way. It is fairly accurate. I think your reaction was over the top.

Post # 13
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020

Maybe a bit of overreaction, but I would cringe if my FH said something like that in a room of people.  Not very classy. 

Post # 14
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

You overreacted. However, I do believe there is research that states that even the guys age can impact fetal health (older sperm cause higher birth defects). So while an 80 year old potentially could conceive, that’s assuming he doesn’t have erectile dysfunction and has a healthy baby. Not sure if that makes you feel better. Still, his comment didn’t deserve a lecture… but I might have made a crack back about assuming they could still get hard.

Post # 15
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

His comment was maybe a bit weird, but not out of line (or false).  I would not have felt offended by that, so I’m not sure why you felt justified to say that he was insensitive to every woman in the room.  If you’re feeling hurt by something though, then it’s ok to sort that out for yourself, discover why it bothers you, and then perhaps have a conversation with him about it.  But speaking for “all other women” isn’t necessary, and I think this situation might have warranted a little more self-reflection before you responded.

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