How big is too big?

posted 5 months ago in Rings
  • poll: At what carat size do you assume a diamond ring is fake?









    I always assume the diamond is real unless. . . (post in comments)

  • Post # 16
    7351 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2016

    I don’t particularly care if a diamond/ gemstone is “real” or not. Paris Hilton’s collection of engagement rings have all, undoubtedly, been real. Every single one of them has looked entirely too big and absolutely terrible on her hand.

    Ever since I heard about celebrities getting replicas of their jewelry made (so the real items can stay safely tucked away), I wonder whose jewelry might be a “paste” copy. But I don’t generally think very deeply about the rings I see around me, beyond complimenting their owners and celebrating their beauty.

    Post # 17
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I assumed it’s not a diamond (not fake) when it didn’t look like a diamond. Never ask/say anything rather than compliment though.

    Post # 18
    480 posts
    Helper bee

    I never assume stones are fake. With regard to being too big it depends on age, size, overall look of the wearer, lifestyle etc.. A petite person might look ridiculous with a large stone but someone tall with a larger frame wearing  the same stone could carry it off. I love larger stones but they don’t necessarily suit me over 3 to 4cts depending on cut. I love looking at rings on people but never comment.

    Post # 19
    1345 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019 - Turkey

    If it’s anything bigger than 1 carat, and doesn’t sparkle much, assume it’s CZ because they’re very popular in my country. It’s not a bad thing but it’s just facts. 

    Post # 20
    7579 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I don’t assume anything about strangers. I’m at an age in life where I don’t give a crap about what other people have, and I also am mature enough to recognize that what people wear, carry, drive, etc isn’t a representation of how much money they have. For example, my circle of friends does very well financially yet we’ve made it an olympic sport to see who can snag the cutest clothing item at Walmart. Why? Because if we see something cute we buy it and know we’re smart enough to spend the difference on other things we might find more important. I’m sure people side-eye me as I get out of my paid for 10 year old car, in leggings and my favorite sweater from Walmart w/ no makeup, but carrying my LV bag. But that’s because I buy what I like and I don’t give a crap what others think. 


    Post # 21
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee

    A diamond is too big:

    When you can’t close your fingers sideways;

    When you can’t get your arm down your sleeve;

    When you need to put your left arm behind you or in front of you to get through a doorway;

    When your skateboard always veers to the left;

    When you have to wear a compensatory floatation device on your left upper arm in a swimming pool;

    When you run with the knuckles of your left hand scraping along the floor;

    When you find yourself canoeing/skiing/hangliding in anticlockwise circles;

    When you set off on a flight from Tampa to New York and the plane arrives  in Los Angeles;

    When your diamond insurance is greater than your pension pot;

    When there is only room for you and your diamond in your double bed;

    When your security guards outnumber your wedding guests;

    When you choose your friends by the size of their gems rather than the expansiveness of their hearts.

    In other words, OP, I can’t think of a single sensible answer to your question.





    Post # 22
    3108 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    View original reply
    @kkgrove:  I also tend not to overtime about whether or not somebody’s ring is real. It’s none of my business. My mind kind of stops at “oh, sparkly.” I don’t do any more processing than that. 🤷🏾‍♀️

    Post # 23
    754 posts
    Busy bee

    I never see a ring out in the wild and think ‘that must be fake.’ 

    If it’s someone that I know that isn’t crazy wealthy I might wonder if it’s a moissanite or something, but I don’t consider that ‘FAKE,’ it’s just a different type of stone. Really large stones aren’t very popular here, so it may also be that I don’t come across it very much. 


    Post # 24
    102 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2021 - Mackinac Island, MI

    It depends for me. If it’s a stranger in Target I probably wouldn’t think anything of it, but if it’s someone I know, I’d build an assumption based on what I know about them as far as job income and family wealth. But if someone told me they wore a CZ I wouldn’t care or think less of them or their relationship! 

    Post # 25
    2596 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I assume it’s not a diamond around the 2ct mark. And I definitely do judge. But, obviously, wouldn’t say anything to anyone about it. I just usually assume that the person has a higher tolerance than I do regarding putting on a show for society. Not really my cup of tea. That’s why I can’t do knock-off bags, etc. It would make me feel icky. But, people have different tolerances. 

    Post # 26
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2022 - Studio City , CA

    Well I just don’t assume anything.  I’m always happy when I see a woman with sparkle in her hand no matter how big or small.  I favor large stones 3.5-5 carats.  I don’t agree that that is putting on a show for people either.  That’s just my jam and always has been.  I have been asked by a manicurist if my ring was a CZ and kinda thought it was rude to ask.  But  I just smiled and said no.  We do well financially but I am modest in other areas. Honestly half of my closet are goodwill and target finds that I pair with desire stuff. Some of my peers think it’s weird I’m a goodwill junkie.  And the weirder they think it is the happier I am that I’m an individual and really don’t care. I’m just happy that woman have a touch of sparkly in their lives.  Every girl needs a bit of that. 

    Post # 27
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2022 - Studio City , CA

    View original reply
    @kkgrove:  Now that I’ve read your question again I’m like damn I am that woman at target which is a great place to shop by the way!

    Post # 28
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2022 - Studio City , CA

    View original reply
    @kkgrove:  Now that I’ve read your question again I’m like damn I am that woman at target which is a great place to shop by the way!  I would hope that given everything that’s going on in the world that people would be less concerned about what’s on my hand and trying to judge my checkbook and be more concerned about their latest cartwheel  deal.

    Post # 29
    1058 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’m a jewelry nerd who used to work for a jeweler, but I have to say, I never assume any particular clear sparkly stone either is or isn’t a diamond—not because it’s “rude” to assume, but because there are so many clear sparkly stones on the market nowadays, it’s totally pointless to assume anything unless I get close enough to it to actually identify it (and I don’t tend to bring a loupe to Target). Not to mention, attitudes toward these “diamond look-alikes” have evolves so much recently, and they’re being appreciated for what they are, not what they’re “trying” to imitate, which is awesome, and makes it kind of pointless to speculate about whether the wearer wants me to think it’s a diamond. 

    However, I can’t lie, if I saw a young person wearing a massive clear stone in a relatively low-income area, I wouldn’t immediately conclude it was a diamond, because that would just be statistically unlikely. Whether I would care is a different story (I wouldn’t), but I’ve only ever personally seen a 3+ carat eye clean diamond once, and it belonged to a very wealthy older woman who lived on Beacon Hill (affluent historic district at the heart if Boston) and had an original Matisse drawing hanging in her living room. Maybe it would be an “unfair” assumption to make, but based on my experience, it would be logical. 

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