(Closed) How big of a role did your groom play in wedding planning?

posted 2 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

lptalbot :  Fi keeps saying, “I’m going to be there!”

So I’m making all the arrangements. Honestly, I prefer it that way. 


Post # 3
7862 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Lol my husband was barely involed. Partly cause he didn’t care about 90% of the decisions and partly cause we got married in my hometown which is across the country from where we live now, so my mom actualy planned most of the wedding.

He did have strong feelings about a few things like how the ceremony should go, the music, and what he wanted to wear, but other than that, he really didn’t care about much. In the beginning I was consulting hiim on everything but after a point I just charged ahead with my mom lol.

Post # 4
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I basically did everything myself. I had him help with the guest list and with getting addresses. Since we lived 5 hours apart before we got married, he didn’t have an opportunity to help me much anyway. We shopped for his suit etc…together. It worked out beautifully and I never had any sort of resentment or anything. It all went swimmingly.

Post # 5
2357 posts
Buzzing bee

lptalbot :  I  did everything. When I asked him for input he was like eh how about this. I finally got tired of waiting and just did things myself. The only thing he handled was the DJ because I had such issues with him and for whatever reason he only seemed to talk to my husband. 

To be honest I dont think he cared about what I did. He was just happy to get married. The details we just that…details and he didn’t care. 

Post # 6
9543 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

He was very involved in the planning. He picked our colors, he designed our centerpieces, and he choreographed our first dance. We picked out all the music together. The night we got engaged he said he wanted “On Top of the World” by Imagine Dragons to play when we were announced at the reception. That was actually the first decision we made.

For a lot of stuff I would do the initial research and then bring my ideas to him and we would make the final decision together. There are very few decisions I made without much input from him. I even ended up picking a dress that he had pointed out as being his favorite from my Pinterest board, though I didn’t actually realize that until afterward.

Post # 7
1307 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

My first time around I had a total Groomzilla who wanted it all done his way for his family in his style and colors while I did all the leg work. SUPER frustrating! so the grass isnʻt always greener on the other side 😉

This time, Iʻll probably have much more of a say cuz I think his interest level ranges around a 1-2. He did agree to the style, venue, and guest list size, so those are the main things, I mean you donʻt want the groom to hate it, right? But the rest of it Iʻm expecting to do all on my own via inspo pics we both like. 


Post # 8
9613 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

“Should we do option A or B?” 

“Sounds good babe, whatever you want”

Post # 9
3470 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

All he wants to know is what needs to be paid and what time to show up. 🤓 Bothered me at first but he explained he was excited about getting married just not into the details. Which I understand since I don’t care much about all this wedding stuff either. He collected addresses for his side of the list, chose the officiant and DJ but thats about it. If I ask for input he’ll give it.

Post # 10
6278 posts
Bee Keeper

lptalbot :  same here. I did the wedding. He did the secret honeymoon. I loved that I didn’t have to even think about that – just pack a case. He’s pretty chilled. He had a few requests of things he particularly wanted and we discussed big things together and spent time writing our vows, we took a few fun classes to learn a bit of dance. He spent a lot of time and effort prior with ring shopping.  I like the fact he just let me do what I want really. 

Post # 11
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

It was his wedding too. He deserved to have equal input.

In reality he was studying while working full time so I had more time. When he’d finished studying he helped out. We did have a discussion about him being more involved which included him saying “I don’t know how to plan a wedding” and me responding with “and how many fucking weddings do you think I’ve palnnned?”

At the end of our engagement he had his own projects completely, which included decorating the church with flowers on the day.

Post # 12
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Fiance and I sat down together when we first started planning, and made a list of areas he thought he could contribute to. I told him up front I thought it would be nice if he could help since it’s going to be a lot of work. We are paying for our wedding ourselves, so it only makes sense we’re both involved in the financial decisions being made. 

I work in the design industry, so FI told me right away that he suspected that naturally most of the wedding planning would probably fall on me, since I know and care about design so much, but he’d help where he could. 

We found “non design/visual” related things for him to take on. ie: the music, seating chart, rehersal dinner, finding a day-of-coordinator, finding an officant, wedding cake, and also running little errands like getting stamps for the invites, etc, which has been so nice! We also attended all vendor meetings/interviews together – I’ve really appreciated creating the wedding we want together. Since he knows all the details it’s also nice to be able to rant to him about some issue, and he’ll totally get it! 🙂 


Post # 13
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I did all of the initial research and planning. I found almost all of the bigger vendors: the caterer, the pastry chef, the DOC, the hotel room block, photographer, and the venue itself. My FH found and handled the officiant (his uncle) and DJ (his frat brother). 

I also made and tracked our budget. I have been in charge of telling us how much money to save every paycheck. I set the budget of $10k and planned every line item and made my best effort to make sure we wouldn’t exceed it (we have gone $500 over). This helped us to save for the wedding without using our personal savings or swiping credit cards. 

I have a very particular vision for the wedding so I am glad he is fine with me just doing my thing (our theme is a southern fairytale). I enjoyed choosing the colors, theme, floral arrangements, etc and I am glad I got no resistance on that stuff. 

Now, that we are 3 weeks out he is doing as much work as I do. He attends all vendor meetings, he is taking charge of the favors, we are doing diy florals together, we chose our song list together. He has been very hands on now that we need to do things besides researching and budgeting which I appreciate. 

Post # 14
1128 posts
Bumble bee

Fiance is actually doing like 75% of our wedding planning.  I have some health stuff plus I’m moving after the wedding and I have a work trip the day before my rehearsal 😟

Post # 15
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I’m pretty sure we have made all decisions together, except my dress, bridesmaids dresses, and the flowers. The actual research and vendor coordination has been about 50/50. He has organised photographer, cake, transport, DJ, and honeymoon. I’ve organised venue, officiant, florist, decor and accommodation.

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