Post # 1
EDITED: (i’m editing my question so people don’t misunderstand me – I’m not judging, just curious)
I’ve seen weddings on TV where the bridal party seemed to outnumber the guestlist. I thought it felt strange.
I’m just curious, what do you think is an ‘appropriate’ number of attendants (notice, appropriate is in quotations – there’s no right or wrong, just curious what others think on the subject)
Post # 3
@MsGinkgo: I think it depends on how many people are close to you. The attendants vs. guests ruleit seems arbitrary to say you only have X people be honored as attendants bc X number of people are attending your wedding. Those 2 numbers don’t have any relation to each other. I don’t agree with having the same number of people as Groomsmen and Bridesmaid or Best Man for the same reason. Just let the bride and groom pick those who are closest to them, whether it’s no one or a dozen people.
ETA- Like if ten Out of Town guests can’t make it, you need to have one less attendant? You have no idea who will be able to attend as a guest and who won’t and you have picked your attendants before you get all your RSVPs back.
Post # 4
@MsGinkgo: I didn’t vote, because I believe that there is no “should.” If a bride/groom want more people standing up with them than sitting down and watching, that’s their prerogative. And if they don’t care how it looks, I’m certainly not worried about it!
FYI: We will have 7 on each side and estimating 130 guests.
Post # 5
Of course it is completely up to you. I had seen a guideline of 1 pair of attendants for every 25 guests. I am not following this guideline, however, and neither has anyone else’s wedding I’ve been to. It’s your day, do whatever you want! 🙂
Post # 6
I also don’t have an opinion about the right number, it’s totally up to the bride/groom.
I did not have a bridal party at all!
Post # 7
@MsGinkgo: I think wedding etiquette and etiquette in general (for the most part) is annoying. If you want 30 people in your wedding party, then have it that way. It’s your wedding, and some person with outdated opinions on what should and shouldn’t be, shouldn’t factor into your decision. For our wedding, my husband had 5 groomsmen and I had 5 bridesmaids. We had 120 guests.
Post # 8
I saw a Four Weddings episode where they had a combined 32 attendents! It was visually stunning. So I voted no such thing as too many!
Post # 9
I didn’t vote because I didn’t base my bridal party on number of guests. We originally picked 4 people for each side, had someone assume they were in the party so I extended it to 6 people each side so we had even numbers. Right now we are looking at 125 people. I think as long as you choose people who are close to you and mean something to you than you can have as many as you want in your bridal party. Just remember the bigger the group, the more time you have to alot for things such as photography, cermony time and reception time. Sometimes it can be hard to handle 20+ people and get them all to listen haha.I would feel bad for my guests having to sit through it so I tried to make everything in my wedding short and sweet ceremony wise.
Post # 10
I knew someone who had 12, but she was a bridezilla and drama queen. She was not genuinely close to all of these people. If you really have that many people you love, good for you. If you’re stretching it to be surrounded by people you aren’t close to, what’s the point?
Post # 11
@MsGinkgo: I voted for no more than four and no more than six. Four just seems like the best number to me and that’s what I really wanted, but I’ll be having six, assuming my last two girls say yes. I have four best friends, my sister, and his sister. I’m happy with all of them standing with me and can’t imagine leaving any of them out, I just always like the look of four. It’s not too many or too few. I feel like six is excessive, but that’s the way it’ll be for us.
Post # 12
@HeartsandSparkles: @Mez03: @CriticLite: @Andthepupmakes3: I agree that the guideline based on the number of guests is a little silly – but i’ve seen it tossed around so I put it in the poll.
I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer, i’m just curious what other people think is ‘too big’
Post # 13
I like 4 per person because with the B or G it makes 5 so it makes things look even (which is just something that I’m hyper aware or, I love symmetry.) So after that I would say 6 each, but that’s a lot to me. I will probably only have 3, but I’m mulling over a 4th person. I just don’t know if we are close enough for it to make sense that she makes the cut. It used to be but umm not sure these days.
Point is theres symmetrical and there’s reality.
Post # 14
I get annoyed when I see a flood of people on each side. I mean seriously, you have 8 BMs and they’re allll your BFFs? Come on. I voted no more than 4 per side.
Post # 15
@MsGinkgo: I agree with PPs that the #of guests guidelines is silly. I think it “should” be however many people the B&G want. I have 7 Bridesmaid or Best Man, which is more than I wanted, but I had 5 girls and also happen to have 2 sisters (would not have included them, but there was family drama)…so now I have 7.
I do think it’s weird though if it’s obvious that every friend of the couple is standing with them. I don’t mean with small parties, but if there are like 9+ Bridesmaid or Best Man and the bride has no other (friend) guests in the audience, it seems a little strange to me. Like at that point is it even an honor, or did the bride just include every girl her age that was invited to the wedding?
Based on my guest list, I have over 10 girlfriends and cousins in my peer group that are invited but are not in the wedding party, so I feel like it is obvious that these are the girls I wanted to honor and have by my side (although I do have a few who were close seconds, but I didn’t want it out of control!). And each of my girls is there for a specific reason. I think that is important.
Post # 16
@pineapplez17: I think that’s where I find it odd – when every single friend is standing up at the front. I have my 2 sisters and 2 of my closest friends. Yes, there are more people I could have asked, more people who are close, but the 4 I chose are my closest friends who I could not imagine NOT having beside me.
Maybe some people really do have 10 BFFs…