(Closed) How can a pregnant woman encourage TTC.

posted 4 years ago in TTC
Post # 4
3262 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t have any tips, but I’ve certainly had my fill of people counting my blessings, as it were. It’s sweet that you’re being patient with her, but that gets old very fast.

Post # 5
2287 posts
Buzzing bee

Uh, it really hasn’t been that long.

I would reassure her that this can take some time, especially after having used birth control. 

Also, stress can make conceiving more difficult, so I would suggest she do relaxing things. Quality time with her husband; fertility massages; sex that is loving so that it doesn’t become a chore; and yummy, healthy foods and lots of water are all things that could help her to conceive. 

Post # 8
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@eecuadrado:  I don’t know that it will help to say this to her, but if she just had her Mirena out,  her body may still be trying to adjust to that. Also, it can take a few months on average – I think the stats are like 60% of people get pregnant in three months, and 80% in six months. So she’s really quite early to be stressing out so much over this! It took my husband and I four cycles/months of trying, and I consider that to be not much time at all.

Post # 9
2287 posts
Buzzing bee

@eecuadrado:  Oh, ok. 

I really recommend the fertility massages, then. She can do them herself, and they can be very helpful. 

Post # 10
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Honestly, I think she needs some tough love. She has only been trying for one cycle. Most doctors won’t even classify you as having trouble conceiving until you’ve been trying for a year. Maybe point her at some TTC threads to give her a reality check. If it would make her feel better to be more proactive about it, she could start charting, using PreSeed, etc. There are plenty of internet resources that could get her started. But at this point, there is no reason for her to be discouraged.

Post # 12
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This one is two sided for me. 1) Your friend is being a nutbag and is out of line. One cycle is nothing, and it’s always out of line to judge others and count their blessings. 

2) I’m TTC and am closing out Cycle 2, and am pretty sure that we’re a BFN for this month. It’s definitely a little disappointing. Even though I know a lot about TTC and all the statistics about success rates and stuff, in my heart of hearts I know that I really wanted to be one of those people who got lucky on the first try. It definitely does sting a bit, even in the beginning, when you’re not successful. But being a Negative Nancy is only going to alienate people, and you might really want to lean on them later *IF* you have real trouble concieving. 

If she’s your bestie, I think it might be worthwhile to carefully remind her of this. “Babe, I know you’re disappointed, but you actually have no idea what they went through. For all you know, they were trying for years.” “I  know you’re disappointed, but very few people get pregnant on the first month. It will happen, but try to stay realistic about the timeframe. Have you checked out Fertility Friend? I hear they have great information on there about TTC and cycle statistics. Might be interesting.” 

Good luck, you’re really in a tough spot. 

Post # 13
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@eecuadrado:  Ooo that’s tough. Typically, coming off BC, it can take anywhere from 3-6 months. I would give it at least that amount of time. Does she chart or would she be interested in it? It might help her to trust her body more and be more in tune with it. OR, given her situation and feelings, it might make her more unstable. I am not sure, but it could e worth a try or at least mentioning.

Post # 14
561 posts
Busy bee

it is too bad that she is so discouraged already. I had some difficulty telling a few of my friends about my unplanned pregnancy because so many of them have been trying for so long. I agree with sending her to the TTC boards…yes, it can happen the first time but not for most people!

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