- 10 years ago
- Wedding: December 1969
Hey girls – I need your help. This is a long one…
I got engaged last August and immediately asked my good friend to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I asked her over my family because I have family that are all about the same age and didnt want to choose one over the other.
In the beginning it was great – she lived like 10 min away and was super helpful. We used to talk all the time and would hang out at least 3 times a week.
My mom gave us an engagement party in November and covered all expenses for all 60+ people that were there. My Maid/Matron of Honor offered to make homemade sangria – which I thought would be awesome. During the party I was socializing with everyone and she said she had to leave early (about 3 hours in). I was fine with it and said I would talk to her soon.
Now it has been almost 8 1/2 months and honestly – she is MIA. She moved in with her boyfriend and is now about 45 minutes away. I understand that its more of a commute now – but she doesnt call and doesnt even ask if I need any help at all. She also has been laid off and made it clear that she cannot finance a bridal shower and she will throw the bachlorette party that she wants to throw (not anything that I was hoping for – i.e. traveling to wine tasting vs bar hopping locally). Now a bridal shower is more important to me than a bachlorette party – but its been hinted that I could go without or could find someone else to host it.
Now up to now, I was willing to over look it all and just keep things as it is. I am not a confrontational person and would rather bite my tongue rather than ask her to be a bridesmaid instead of my Maid/Matron of Honor.
Today was the last straw. She im’ed me (for the first time in weeks besides to cancel a lunch we were supposed to have) to ask me how I got in contact with my bridal shows and for some general advise because a girl (lets call her A) we went to high school just got engaged and she wanted to help her plan her wedding. She was saying how much fun the first bridal show was and she wanted to take A so that she could begin planning. So basically she is latting me fend for myself and plan it all alone, but wants me to give her all my wedding know-how so that she can plan this other chick’s wedding!!
Is it completely wrong of me to be mad??? She doesnt offer a stich of help to me but to some chick that she just reconnected with on facebook, its all lets plan and have fun….
We still have not ordered the dresses or anything of that sort, and the wedding is over 10 months away. Am I wrong to ask her to only be a bridesmaid and promote my fiance’s best friend (who has been amazing and comes over to help all the time) to MOH?
Please let me know what you think!!