- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2016
This is a long one…
For the 3 + years Fiance and I have been together, his mom and I always had a great relationship. She seeminlgly adored me. She cried when we got engaged.
Then about 2 months ago, shit hit the fan… I think it was after an argument my Fiance and I had. He mistakenly complained to his mom.
She came over our house with a pizza unannounced (which was kind of annoying, but whatever). After we ate, she proceeded to ask me for my dad’s phone number so she could “tell my dad she didnt appreciate how he was handling things”. I politely said I’d rather her not get involved since my dad and I had resolved the issues we were having.
Then she brought up the fact that she refuses to babysit my mom during the wedding so her and my dad won’t fight.
After that she said I shouldnt take any $ from my dad for the wedding and asked if I would postpone the wedding. I said no. When she asked why I got upset and told her through tears that I am “31, have a condition where it’s very hard to get pregnant, and want to start a family”. Then I had to go upstairs. While I was walking upstairs I heard her say to Fiance “Notice how she didnt say ‘I wont postpont because I love your son'”.
I took a few minutes and came back down. She proceeded to tell me that…
-I am a spoiled rich girl (I assure I am not).
-I need to talk to my mom because she’s too thin.
-I don’t think her wonderful son is good enough for me.
– I don’t think her son is rich enough
Among a barrage of other garbage. She also said very snarky, passive aggressive things about my family and I.
At that point I grabbed my bag and said I was leaving (mind you I had kept my mouth shut during this whole hour long ordeal). She asked why. I said “because you’re starting shit”. In an overly innocent way she said “I’m not starting shit”, To which I replied “Yes you are, don’t come into our house and make snarky remarks about me and my family.”
Then I left and came back after she was gone.
For 2 weeks following she called Fiance a couple times a week crying and asking him not to marry me. He talked to her telling her he had made his decision and she needed to support him.
I saw her 2 weeks ago at a wedding. She gave me a half ass hug. I noticed her talking shit all night to her other son’s new g/f and could definitely tell the other relatives had heard things from her. She also kept dragging Fiance away from me to take photo after photo.
Tonight I have to see her again for FI’s birthday dinner.
I usually have Thanksgving at my house, but my mom is having it this year. Fiance told me his mom isn’t seeing anyone and asked could we invite her.
Fiance has this image of his mother as this sweet woman who would never hurt anyone. However, I have listened to her gossip and complain about her sisters and female friends for 3 years. She also would try to prevent Fiance from seeing his dad when he was young by telling his dad “the kids didnt want to see him” and trying to convince the kids that they didnt want to see their dad. So I know this isnt totally out of character.
There has been no apology (which I requested) or acknowledgement of what happened and honestly I don’t want to be around her unless things are resolved. Fiance says I probably wont get an apology. How am I supposed to act around this woman? How am I supposed to involve her in wedding planning when I can’t get past her attacking me and telling her son I am a mistake?
What would you do, fellow bees?