(Closed) How can I convince my SO to have a destination wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 4
Member
1239 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

a destination wedding is a good idea but i do think that having it on the same trip would be stealing her thunder. i dont think i would be that happy if a relative got married a week after me in the same location. what about if you had it at a location not too far from home?

Post # 5
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

That’s a tough situation…

I wouldn’t have your wedding near hers. Even within a month might risk upsetting her. If you’re asking your family to travel again, you need to wait at least 6 months. How about eloping or only inviting a few very close family members? 

Post # 6
Member
1330 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with the above posters that even within a week is too close. It will offend the bride. How many people are attending your wedding? Depending on size and details, you could always plan for late this year.

Post # 7
Member
326 posts
Helper bee

I would get somebody to ask your cousin in a hypothetical sense and see how she would feel about it. My dad’s brother had been engaged for around ten years and suddenly got married very soon before my dad despite my dad only having been engaged one year and having the wedding planned for months. It didn’t bother my mom and dad at all. You have a very good reason for wanting to get married close to her date but I wouldn’t do it if people are going to be upset about it. 

Post # 8
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

Peronally I think its too close together.  However, if you discuss it with her and explain your mindset about it and let her tell you how she feels about it you can know for sure if it would be feasible.

Post # 9
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

To answer your question, you should not try to convince your SO to get married in Singapore or to have a Destination Wedding. He has made it clear to you that he doesn’t want that. Don’t forget, he has family/friends too. They may not be able to get to Sinagapore. I also think that planning a wedding during your cousins wedding is completely insane. I think it’s rude and not something you should do. At all! Just because he isn’t close to his family doesn’t mean they wouldn’t attend the wedding, and it certainly doesn’t mean that you should not give him any say in the wedding.

Post # 10
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

whilst i do get it would be a way to have your family there – one week between weddings WILL cause drama. As much as i believe that brides only get one day as opposed to a ‘wedding month’ its going to look like you’re hijacking her plans

Also given that your SO has explicitly said he doesnt want a wedding there, i think you should try to find another compromise.

Any possiblility you could elope/have a very small wedding and then have a small reception later in  England- even just a dinner at a nice restaurant with friends/family there?

Post # 11
Member
13249 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you need to talk to your cousin who is getting married first, and see how she feels, first.  I’d be really pissed if a cousin picked a wedding a week later in the same place as me.  I’d feel exactly like you were stealing my thunder. 

Setting a wedding location isn’t about convincing, it’s about compromise.  If your Fiance doesn’t agree with Singapore, you need to consider his feelings very carefully.

Post # 13
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Glittergirl_2013:  i just wanted to give you a perspective from a bride who did have a friend have her wedding at the same destination. i got married at an all  inclusive resort and got engaged long before my friend who was also my Bridesmaid or Best Man.  Her boyfriend asked me hypothetically how i would feel if someone else got married there the same week.  My initial reaction was “that would be so much fun”!  And so that is how my Bridesmaid or Best Man and her boyfriend got engaged. And i was really on board at first. I had the attitude in my head that “my wedding is one day, what do i care what people do the rest of the week?”.  Well, i clearly didn’t think it through and i thoroughly regretted it later on when it was too late to take back my approval. I was happy for several months, until the first problem hit where we had to pick a resort and my Bridesmaid or Best Man tried to take over by dictating which resort was best for her, which travel agent we book with, and also get our mutual friends to book with her agent. It pissed me off and killed all my excitement about the double wedding week.  And from then on, when the planning began, i realized she was no longer going to the destination for my wedding as my Bridesmaid or Best Man, but going for hers and it kinda bummed me out. I felt like she wasn’t a Bridesmaid or Best Man as much as my other BMs were.  Basically it tainted the whole planning experience.  

And so i do not recommend it!   However your situation is different since it seems your wedding would not be at the same venue, and i am not sure if you and your cousin will also be each other’s BMs.  But i would think through very carefully if this is even what you want for your own wedding.

Post # 14
Member
805 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Why rush it seriously? Why not have a two year engagement instead it’s only an extra twelve months and seriously it won’t feel that long I’m sure. It just seems like you are pushing him into this. Relax about it. Go to the other wedding with him as this may convince him to get married in Singapore the following year. 

Post # 15
Member
478 posts
Helper bee

Okay, I might have it all confused, so let me know if I got it wrong.

  • You and Fiance live in Sydney, Australia

 

  • Both your and his family is from Singapore

 

  • But now your family live in England

 

  • You cousin, who lives in England is having a wedding in Singapore

 

  • She is doing this because . . . a lot of her/you family live there?

 

  • So a lot of family is traveling from England to Singapore for her wedding

 

  • You don’t think your family in England (or Singapore?) would be willing to travel  to Australia for a wedding where you and your Fiance live

But wait, I got myself confused again.  Does your family live in Singapore, or England?

How about not getting married in Singapore 1 week from your cousin, but getting married in England next spring or summer?

ETA: oops. i just saw that you are going to have it in sydney after all. best of luck!

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