How can I get him to??? (TMI)

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

You could suggest doing a 69er?


Post # 5
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think you already stressed how important this is too you, and he being a little bit lazy and selfish. I think asking for more balence pointing how little you do it, or maybe showing him how it feels to not have bj completed may work since talking doesn’t seem to be the doing anything.

Post # 6
9668 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

I am sorry I don’t have any advice, as I am in the same situation. So will be following this thread to see what help you get 🙂 69 is ok, although quite difficult to get into that  position!

Post # 7
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@ihavethemusicinme:  If he starts giving you oral, and then stops, I think I would be inclined to do the same to him a few times.  If telling him directly doesn’t work, it may be that he needs a taste of his own medicine Wink.  What does he really enjoy?  Use that against him.

Post # 10
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

You should talk to him about this openly, outside of the bedroom, and find out what the real problem is. I know you have talked to him, but he isn’t getting it apparently. There is more than what he’s saying.

Maybe he really doesn’t like doing it, or he thinks it’s “dirty” (not literally dirty of course, but just not in line with what he thinks is ok), or perhaps he thinks he isn’t good at it? You need to get to the bottom of it. Part of it does sound like laziness.

Post # 11
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

do you think that maybe he is a bit unsure about making you climax?  you said that he is not very experienced in this department so maybe he is thinking things could get a bit messy on his face (if you know what i mean).  he just doesn’t know what to expect.

i would suggest having an oral sex date. it can start in the shower so you are both totally clean.  no real penatration, just a lot of foreplay, touching, kissing, licking, etc.   then he can make you orgasm orally and then it’s his turn. 

also, watch your diet prior to this date.  avoid garlic and onions.  eat a lot of cucumbers and mangos to keep things tasting sweet down there.

Post # 12
365 posts
Helper bee

I would NOT accept it if he just stopped doing oral and said it was because he wanted to have sex. He wants to have sex? Great… you want oral! How about you compromise once in a while? His dick isn’t going to fall off if he waits an extra five minutes to put it inside of you! He’s a big boy, he can wait a few minutes. If he always gets what he wants, it’s time you had a turn.

Don’t let sex be solely on his terms! Sometimes, you compromise… and sometimes, he compromises. He doesn’t get to make all the calls.

If my sweetheart wasn’t in the habit of pleasing me and making compromises every so often, and then he stopped doing what I wanted to just because he wanted to get his… I’d say sorry, I guess I don’t feel like having sex right now. Go finish yourself off or something – I’ll just give myself the orgasm I’m after since you’re not up for it.

Post # 14
1791 posts
Buzzing bee

@ihavethemusicinme:  do 69 while laying sideways then. makes it a little less vag in face lol. Lol

Post # 15
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Flavored lube is great if he has a problem with vaginal acidity. Not saying you taste bad, but the vagina tends to be acidic because it’s self-cleaning. My ex never went down on me because he said once he had a girl orgasm in his mouth and he threw up because of it.

What a pussy.

Anyway, he said after that he didn’t really like the taste. So I suggested lube, and that did help. But not nearly as much as I wanted. We obviously broke up, but not just because of our vastly sexual differences.

But lube, 69, being on your knees with him lying on his back between your legs (so he doesn’t hurt his back/neck), and just flat-out saying, “Look dude, if you don’t lick the cat, things are going to get hairy, no pun intended” are really the best options I’ve got right now. :/

Post # 16
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Spring it on him randomly, dont let him get in the mood until he’s gone down on you and you’ve gotten off and is horny from that. I dont do this to get oral, but whenever I randomly tell my huney I want to go have sex he makes sure to try to get me in the mood, get me off, or at least get me close so once we have sex itll happen. Another idea? Sometimes when I want it and I dont want to be like *points down there* “dooooo ittt” I lay on my stomach and ask him to kiss all over my body. He gets so into it, it happens anyways.. also make sure to really emphasize how much you enjoy the kissing when he gets close 😛

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