(Closed) how can i get them to understand that their idea of THE DRESS isn’t mine

posted 9 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

can you post pictures of your inspiration dresses?

 

Maybe you could wear a white dress with a cool black lace bolero or something, w/ full sleeves.

Post # 4
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Are you sure you want to wear black? I wouldn’t want my Fiance thinking I was sad about getting married. haha. Plu, it might make you look even more pale. If you don’t want white, is there any other color you can think of?

Post # 5
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agree, can you a picture that kinda looks like what you want, I don’t know that I’m getting what the ceremony dress will be vs the reception vs the bridesmaids.  Anything will work, but it is a bit different, so I’m not exactly sure I understand the vision.

Post # 6
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

If you are pale-skinned and white makes you look washed out, so will black. Maybe a less harsh dark color closer to your face might work for you? It’d be nice to see what dress you have in mind.

But I know that’s not the question you are asking. I’d halt discussions with the Future Mother-In-Law if she’s critical. Really, you can let her be surprised. As for your Fiance… that’s a little tougher. Maybe you can find some pictures of brides in non-white dresses and start showing them to him to let him know that it’s not really that odd?

Post # 8
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i’d feel weird wearing a black dress in a church for anything other than a funeral… sorry, that’s just my opinion!

Post # 9
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

post pics woman!  otherwise, w/out some frame of reference i think the only answer is just do what you feel like and be done w/ it 🙂

Post # 11
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am going to have an unpopular opinion. I think what your FH wants is really important when it comes to “the dress”. I was in the army for 7 years, so I have had lots of “guy time” which gave me insight I wouldn’t normally have into the male mind.

Guess what – they do think about their future weddings, have opinions on what their future bride and the day will look like. In many cases they picture the moment they will first see their bride, even before they meet her.

I think that they should get some “say” into what that day will look like, yes even the dress. My FH personally won’t see the dress before the day, but he did request no ball gown and it was a big priority for me to comply to that request.

I think you should talk to him about it, see if you can compromise … 

Post # 12
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

i love black actually (whenever i get engaged my bridesmaids will be wearing it) sjp wore a black dress and regretted it because it was the only time she would have gotten to be a bride. however if black makes you feel more of the bride then go for it!! i think a really cool satin long sleeve black cardigan type of coverup (sort of like what dina wore when she got married on the million dollar wedding or something like that)… and you could do an awesome cool brooch… Are you going with all black or would you embroider it with any other colors?

Post # 14
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

oh i love your dress choices!! those are white dresses with black lace on them 😀 (logistics i know).  i was thinking almost the exact same type of feel with the cardigan…

Post # 15
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeah, I would also be a little wary of wearing black for a church wedding.  If you were doing an alternative wedding or a Halloween wedding or something, maybe.  Have you tried like champagne/light pink/light gold/etc.?  I am huge fan of wearing the color black in everyday life, but I agree with others it’s a bit much for a wedding.

Post # 16
Member
1084 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think the ones that you picked out are nice – especially the two under casper, the third and fourth one – they have some black and white so might be a nice compromise.  Maybe they just don’t quite understand what you want.  But I think you also may have to walk a fine line of looking too much like a costume if you start adding layers to it to be modest.  Not that there aren’t ways to do it, just seems like a fine line. 

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