- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
Hello dear bees. I have this friend (dude), who I have known for 10 years. Great guy, great person deep inside, but one of the biggest problems that I have, and it’s one of several, is his lifestyle. For almost the whole time that I’ve known him, he always associated himself with a bad crowd. Drugs and alcohol were a normal Friday night for him, and sometimes more often. I was his only friend who chose to distance myself from these people, who didn’t do any drugs or excessive drinking, and who was always attempting to improve myself in life, who had a completely different group of friends, etc.. The reason why I remained his friend, is because he is a genuinely nice guy, and I guess I wanted to “help” him…. I know you probably cringe at that, but hear me out. I care about this guy, I know his family very well (a great European immigrant family), I know his hard work ethic, I know his good morale, and I know that deep inside he is a sunny, bright, good, genuine, sincere person.
He messaged me yesterday, saying that his parents are kicking him out of the house (he’s 28). Its about time! But deep inside I feel that his parents said this in a heat of the moment. His parents are very caring people, with very loyal European cultural upbringing, and I have the hardest time believing that they will kick him out to the curb.
I talked to him on the phone, and tried to help him come up with some sort of plan. He currently works in a grocery store, gets paid about 400 every 2 weeks, but doesn’t have money saved because he spends it either on dope, or video games. When I asked him what the hell was he thinking, he said he doesn’t know.
Bottom line, he realizes that he needs a change. But he needs a serious confidence boost and a kick in the butt, because he can`t start off on his own by himself.
I’m wondering how I can effectively help him? I already gave him a lecture that no self-respecting young woman is going to go for a 28 year old dude who lives at his parents, smokes dope and plays video games, and works at a grocery store just to support his bad habits. I also told him that starting out is a huge struggle, but its your OWN struggle, which makes it special because you’re doing things for YOURSELF!
I don’t know what else I should do. Any advice?