(Closed) How can I honor my Mother (who is deceased) at the wedding and ceremony?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My father passed away almost 3 years ago (the same weekend as our wedding).

I want to be able to think of him, but not have it be a huge fuss or upset other people like his siblings or my sister.

My mom is monogramming our wedding date onto one of his hankies and i’ll have that in my pocket. I’ll be tying his pocket watch into my bouquet.

My favorite thing is that instead of favors, we’re giving out gold dollars as people enter the church (my father always gave gold dollars to kids when he saw them). On the way out, like he did every sunday, they’re invited to put the dollar in the poor box.

Are there momentos of hers you can carry with you? I’m excited I found a dress with pockets so I can have the hankie in there.

You could get a locket and have a photo of her hang on your bouquet.

Post # 4
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

You can do something small and sentimental, like lighting a candle in her honor, or having an open seat in the front row and place a flower on it in her memory.  You can also have a locket/trinket/memento attached to your bouquet, so in a way she will be with you physically on your wedding day.

At the reception you can have a nice framed photo on the guest book table or the head table, or something like that.

There are tons of ways to remember those who can not be there to share with us without being melancholy or morbid.

Post # 5
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

have a rose sitting on a chair next to ur fathers seat, wear a locket, or her jewelry, put a photo in ur bouquet.

Post # 6
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My grandma raised me. She’s no longer with us. I was thinking of a photograph at head table with us, but i love love LOVE @MissMaryMc: idea of the locket hanging from the bouquet!

Post # 7
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Personally, I felt like photos and empty seats drew too much attention to the fact that my father is NOT going to be at my wedding.

The smaller, more personal reminders made it seem more to me like even though we can’t see him, he WILL be there. He’ll be with me when I walk down the aisle just like his pocket watch and hankie will be with me.

Post # 10
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Fiance and I are trying to figure out the same thing. His mom passed away last year. We want to remember and honor her but not turn it into a memorial service. Here are some of the ideas we’ve thrown around:

-We went to a wedding where the groom escorted the moms to their seats before taking his place at the front. We’re thinking Fiance can escort my mom on one arm and carry a picture of his mom in a frame in the other and then place it on the reserved seat for her upfront.

-The empty chair with a ribbon and the picture. We’re looking at it as saving her the best seat in the house

-Having a lit candle upfront and saying in the program that it is in loving memory of her.

-Me laying a flower or bouquet on the chair as he presents my mom with one to thank the moms for raising our future spouse.

Post # 12
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i am in the same boat. i think an empty seat could be too much for my brother to see, so i am leaning toward using her favorite flower – yellow roses – in the bouquets. i also really love the idea of old photos on the guestbook table, so i am going to try to get some of mine and FI’s families, and feature a particularly beautiful shot of my mother in her gown there.

Post # 13
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

The candle idea is also great. I was at a wedding recently where they had a number of lit candles and the pastor mentioned it was in memory of loved ones who couldn’t be there, but they didn’t specifically meantion who they were for. Then it can be special to you and you can let her family know one was for her.

Post # 14
Member
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Did she have a fave flower? To honor my great aunt who just passed I am going to carry a single gardenia in my bouquet even though the rest of the flowers/ color scheme is entirely different. Then I’m going to put in a little note at the end of my program saying that the single gardenia in the brides bouquet is in loving memory of… 

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