Post # 1
My fiances friend and I were talking right after we got engaged and she asked “SO IM IN THE WEDDING RIGHT?” as in she wants to be a bridesmaid. I’ve known her for a little while and I consider her a good friend but I don’t think that was nice of her to ask, especially in front of my fiance. I felt as though i was put on the spot. and sadly I had no intention of asking her to be a bridesmaid to begin with.
How can I be foward polite and say no without causing anything weird and dramatic?
Post # 3
@Teaparty22: Has she brought it up again, or was this the only time?
If she only brought it up once like that, I just wouldn’t address it. She had no right to assume she was in the wedding and put you in that awkward position.
If she keeps pressuring you, don’t give in if you don’t want her in the wedding. You could also give her another role on the big day if you want to have her involved in some way, like attending to the guest book, serving cake or punch, or being a personal attendant.
Post # 4
@Teaparty22: Wow, that’s a bit much on her part.
If she asks again you can just let her know that you guys haven’t finalized the bridal party yet and that you have a lot of people to think about.
She has no right to be hurt if you don’t choose her (unless you told her you would at some point).
And depending on how you guys feel she can always stand up on his side…especially if she is his friend more than yours.
Or you can let her know that you’ve both planned a more “traditional” wedding (ladies with the bride and men with the groom) and would love for her to be a part of the wedding by being in charge of helping iwth decorations or the dessert table or gift table or something to that effect.
(My Fiance was in a family members wedding while I was on the side-lines. I offered to help with the set-up, take down, making sure the presents were kept in a seperate room, etc. The bride and I know each other but aren’t best buds. I figure I might as well help where I can. It worked out fine and I was able to take home some left over favors.)
Post # 5
How did you respond when she asked? Did you ignore the question or tell her you hadn’t chosen the bridal party yet?
Post # 6
@Teaparty22: If she’s his friend, make her a groomswoman. She can stand on his side.
Post # 7
Thank you so much for the support ladies! She did end up asking me again. So i just politely told her that i did not plan on having many people in the bridal shower (which is true). Just 4 of my closest friends (two of them are from texas).
She understood completely. And like you ladies suggested, i told her that i welcomed her help in any other way.
I really believe that I did a good thing. I just wanted to make sure that I wasnt leading her on in any way.
Thank you guys!