- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Hi all! I don’t start posts very often, but after this weekend, I just wanted a bit of advice. Sorry this is long 🙁 My maid of honor has been one of my best friends since we were sophomores in college. She is a great person, but often she reacts to things happening around her in terms of “how will this affect me?” This has become really apparent since I got engaged. In May, after I got engaged, she got really upset and told me she was going to be forgotten, I had ditched her for my fiance and she hated living in our town because she felt alone. She has many friends here other than me, so I gues I didn’t realize she felt this way, and I will admit that I had done less going out. I have tried really hard since then to make more of an effort to hang out with her just us and to make her feels less abandoned. I totally realized what I had done wrong, and have been trying to fix that.
Well, this weekend I bought my wedding dress. I brought all my bridesmaids and my parents. She literally acted like she was the most miserable person in the world and would rather be anywhere but there. When I asked her how she liked the dress I had on all she said was “I don’t even remember what the first one looked like, but its fine.” When I first came out in a dress she looked at another bridesmaid and begin talking about school and work. Then while looking at bridesmaids dresses her exact words were “I am not taking out a loan to pay for your wedding.” to which I replied “I am not asking you to.” She then refused to try on a single dress because she didnt like any of the styles.
I honestly have been anything, but demanding, and I completely realize my bridesmaids lives are not centered around my wedding.They do not want to listen to only wedding stuff anytime they are talking to me. The only thing I have truly asked of them is to pick out a dress they like in a fabric I picked (I wanted them to be comfortable in whatever dress they want rather than all in the same. The gowns we are choosing from are B2, so they are all less than $200. I didn’t want them to feel put out financially at all), and to stand up with me on my day. Anything else they want to do is a bonus in my opinion that I am grateful for.
I think she is just having a hard time with me getting married and things changing. I want to talk to her and just make her more comfortable with everything and let her know that financially the only thing I’m asking of her is the dress, while also letting her know that my feelings are starting to get hurt? Any advice on how to broach the subject or how you dealt with similar situations would be so incredibly helpful!