(Closed) How can I politely ask for guests to be teenaged or older?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s all in the way you address the envelopes

Mr. and Mrs. John Doe implies that they are the only ones invited

The Doe Family implies that the entire family is invited, including children.

Post # 4
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@tricia07:  I would stick to your original plan, and address the envelopes/RSVPs as you’ve mentioned. If they try to RSVP with additional people, you can address the problem then.

Post # 5
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@tricia07:  How many families are affected? Can you call them or include a handwritten note in their invitations politely explaining what you are doing?

Post # 6
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Miss Orchard:  Not necessairly.  I sent invitations to just a single person i e Mr John Smith or Ms Jane Doe and they RSVP’s with a guest.  

 

This is a difficult question to answer ๐Ÿ™

Post # 7
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@les105:  That is worse.  I had people RSVP with guests and how can  you tell them their extras are uninvited.  I say go with the note….

Post # 8
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Ms. Gertie:  I don’t think that’s worse, personally. If someone is rude enough to RSVP with someone who isn’t invited, then it’s not rude of me to correct them. On the other hand, if I make the assumption that my guests are rude before they’ve even done anything wrong, then I’m the rude one. At least that’s how I see it.

The other option is doing an online RSVP system, like weddingwire, that lets you enter specific names of those invited so that people can’t RSVP with extras ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 10
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@les105:  My wedding is in 8 days, its a little to late for that now ๐Ÿ™ lol

Post # 11
Hostess
16215 posts
Honey Beekeeper

We only invited kids 12 and up. We just made sure to include the correct, specific names on the invites. And then we let people know via word of mouth.

Post # 12
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Unfortuantely I had to include this on the invitation because I have heard of horror stories where people addressed the invitation to the adults and yet they still brought their kids. My invitation simply states “Adult only reception to follow” but, you could tweak it to your specific age requirements. Something like “Reception to follow for guests 13 and older” or something like that. I know it really takes away from the beauty of the invitation but, if you have guests that you think will bring their kids even if not officially invited on the invitation you really have no other choice.

Post # 13
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Ms. Gertie:  lol, I meant for the OP ๐Ÿ™‚ That is rough about your extra RSVPs, though!! How stressful.

Post # 14
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

So we’re having a strict adults-only wedding and put right on the invitation that ‘we hope you will take advantage of a fun evening out and kindly request that this event be adults only’ (and we dont really care what people think, sorry!) and have made it very clearly who is and isn’t invited.  Now this doesn’t mean that people won’t cross out what we wrote, but that’d take some balls that I just dont think anyone possesses.  If they do, we’ll address it then.  But in the mean time, I present to you our invitations:

The whole suite was addressed specifically to people (Jane and Joe Black, or Tom, Dick, Jane and Joe Black if there were kids living at home).  I then had the “We have reserved ___ seats in your honor” AND “___ of ____ will be attending” where I fill in both the reserved seat number AND the second blank of the will be attending.

 

 

Post # 15
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think your invitations would lead them in the right direction, with you stating the names & then re-stating the number of people.

BUT, just in case, do you have a wedding website? If so, specifically write it out on there. We wrote something to the tune of: “We respectully request that all attendees of the ceremony & reception be over the age of 5.” Because we didn’t want any small children at the wedding.

Post # 16
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Address the invitations ONLY to those in the household you want to attend.   Do not mention any no kids or 12+ rule on the invites as it is rude to point out who is not invited.  If they respond with extra names, call them and say you cannot accommodate any extras (don’t say its because of age, or money, or space, just say you can’t accommodate them).

IMO it is also inappropriate to state who is not invited on a web site, but web etiquette is still up in the air.  Paper invitation etiquette is pretty clear, though.

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