(Closed) How can I stop my brothers partner having my dress!

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
Member
6033 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

 

Jadeg:  if you wear it first and that’s how they see it, there’s not much you can do and she will be the unoriginal one. Stop caring so much. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. You have no control over what they do.

Post # 3
Member
9123 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Don’t take pictures of it and show people, and no one will know until your wedding day.

Post # 4
Member
2251 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Start sharing less personal information with them. In my case nobody knows what dress im gonna wear. I hid photos on my phone among hundreds other dresses I tried. Also I went dress shopping by myself, because I dont give a shit about anyone elses opinion anyways. So I suggest you go shopping  by yourself or with your mom only. No photos allowed on anyone else cell phone other than yours. And just dont tell them about your dress pick, keep details to yourself. 

Post # 5
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Don’t show them the dress. Keep the dress between you and you stylists (hair stylst included), and maybe show the dress to your mother (if you can trust that she won’t describes what the dress looks like to other people). Such copycats, why don’t they want to do their own thing? So weird.

Post # 6
Member
1978 posts
Buzzing bee

I think this will be a battle you will lose if you keep trying to fight it. Share less personal info with them, but live your life and realize that your actions won’t change them.

You will be beautiful on your wedding day, it doesn’t matter if she wears the same dress or not.

Post # 7
Member
47437 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t tell them or share pictures. They are not mind readers.

Post # 8
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
Jadeg:  I agree with PP. You need to share less personal information with them or mutual family/friends that may show them your pictures.

This also means share less via social media.

Post # 9
Member
5152 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
Jadeg:  Id totally send a pic of a previous dress you tried on and say it was yours.

Post # 10
Member
9389 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

ok, first of all that is super super wierd.  Usually, I think on the ‘bee we’re all like “omg just get over it, you’re being narcissistic” but seriously, that all sounds wierd.

As others said–be super secretive about your wedding and in general about your lives.  Not forever… just make it a 2-3 month delay for most things and a “not till the wedding–it’s a surprise” for wedding stuff, if you want to avoid this behavior.

That said, it’s not all bad if you think about it.  If they really do want to copy everythign you do, you can capitalize.  Talk to them outright and ask “hey, did you want to use my florist? I’d love to refer you” etc… and then tell the florist that your brother and his Fiance want to use whatever florist you do and use that to get a slightly better price.  You can do that with the caterer, etc…  The only two things I’d avoid doing that with are the dress and the venue, but the rest.. just ask the vendor not to tell them what you’re getting, because you want it to be a big surprise.  The same florist can do flowers 100 different ways.  The same photographer is NBD.  The same caterer can make many different possible meals, etc…

Post # 11
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - Winery

WHAT. THE FUHHH. That is really weird of them! LOL I agree with all PPs that said DON’T SHOW ANYONE THE DRESS! If they ask, say its a surprise and you want to wait until the wedding day for anyone to see it.

Post # 12
Member
2330 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My dress was a secret until the night before when a couple of my husbands aunts saw it. They were helping me set up the bridal room where I’d be taking pictures and we had to put the dress on the mannequin. 

The day I went dress shopping I took my mom, MiL and SIL with a condition, they couldn’t take any pictures with their phones, only mine. They are the only ones that knew what my dress looked like till the big day. 

You should do what a PP said. if she asks what does your dress look like, show her a picture of yourself in a dress that isn’t yours, preferably of a completely different shape lol. Just for fun…….. If she ends up with that dress, you’ll know for sure she wants to be you haha

Post # 13
Member
2180 posts
Buzzing bee

Wait, they’ve been together 4 months and are engaged?

Post # 14
Member
2316 posts
Buzzing bee

their behavior is strange. I had a coworker do that to me and it was just sad because she was twice my age and everyone saw how jealous she was. Have fun with it. Try on an ugly but believable dress and take a really happy pic in it…. Tell her you found “the one!!!”  

Post # 15
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
Jadeg:  Yeah I agree w/ PPs, you are right, it’s really weird, BUT you come off as the original one since you are doing it first 🙂

Keep your dress a secret and she can’t possibly have the same one. They come off looking weird, and it has nothing to do with you. Don’t change your behavior and let that whole engagement thing play itself out, it really sounds like they both look to you as a role model and are just showing it in a totally weird way.

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