I think I’m in the same boat. I am a perfectionist so planning our wedding will be a hassle for me that may also ruin my relationship. But I’ve decided to take a break from planning it until I actually pop the question. I’m still looking for ideas, but i’m not putting as much pressure on myself as I once was. I’m a few weeks away from proposing, so I rather focus on that and perfect that proposal rather than jump the gun. Since you’re already engaged, take a break! You say: I have been stressed, irritable, and I would even go as far as to say unhappy. I never wanted a wedding (FI pushed for it because he knew it would make his parents happy) just because I know how high strung I can be. I need everything to be “perfect”, EVERYONE must be “happy”, and I’m a total pleaser.
First, this is your wedding, it honestly doesn’t matter if everyone is happy. Just know, people are going to complain no matter what, even if you spent 1million per person, someone will find something that wasn’t exactly right-so I stopped caring about making people happy. I want a rustic outdoor wedding (possibly having a reception in the bar) I even asked a couple of friends if a barn wedding would be nice, they said “WTF, NO! We’re black”- I was like, I don’t see how race has anything to do with this, but whatever. So at that point, I stopped asking about people’s opinion about our wedding.
If you don’t like planning the wedding, Then take a break, if you have a lot of things done, maybe make a calendar of the things that you think can wait and things that need to be done immediately. since it’s a destination wedding, and you already have transportation booked, and the venue, you’re good for a while. Since your unhappy, working on the wedding is only going to perpetuate this unhappiness. Since your fiance wants the wedding, have him take over the wedding planning. If he’s the type of groom that doesn’t want to help because he see’s it as a womans work, then thats a conversation to be had since you didn’t even want to have a wedding, so if he’s not willing to help then either you stop planning the wedding until he helps, or a wedding doesn’t happen at all.
But You HAVE to trust yourself and TAKE A BREAK!I don’t want to have a wedding either, but my future bride’s family is pushing for it so I’m assuming it’s GOING TO HAVE TO HAPPEN, but my gf is a person that stresses out a lot, so she has asked me to take the lead to plan it once we’re engaged.Maybe give some of the work to the grooms family! Since they’re really interested in the wedding- just give them guidelines!