(Closed) How can I tell host/ess about my allergies?

posted 4 years ago in Wellness
Post # 2
7356 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

You could call or write them and explain that youve got a complicated food allergy, then ask if they’d prefer to collect your info and pass it along to the caterer or just let you speak directly to the caterer.

Post # 3
1224 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I have a friend who came to my wedding who has Crohn’s Disease and several other health issues. She rsvp’d to my parents to say she would love to come and mentioned she had several complicated health issues and that she would be happy to discuss it with the caterer directly if it was easier. In the end she sent me a list of stuff she can’t eat and the caterer gave her a special meal.

With a dinner party it’s maybe more complicated but the only people I ever have dinner with are friends and we know each other well enough to be able to discuss things like this. If there were lots of people at a party where I didn’t know the hosts too well, I would offer to bring my own food to save them the hassle and help everyone to enjoy the evening. Emphasise the fact that you don’t want to trouble them and I’m sure they’d be fine with it.

Post # 4
1557 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

nawella:  If it’s a wedding or catered event, I’d let them know as soon as possible what your allergies are and that you’d be willing to talk directly with their caterer or be sure to eat before the event, if needed.

If it’s a dinner at a friend’s house, I’d let them know about your allergy, and that it can be complicated, so offer to bring a dish that you’d be able to eat and share. 

Post # 5
1634 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

As the host I will solicit if their are any dietary restrictions. I only do this because people often times don’t speak up and get to places unsatisfied with what is served. I hate hearing “oh I can’t/ don’t eat that” at an event because its so negative.

I would want someone with an issue to tell me when they RSVP. Let the host know your dietary restrictions or offer to bring a dish that you can eat and make enough for everyone to eat. 

Post # 6
81 posts
Worker bee

I would just call the host up, thank them for the invite, tell them you’re delighted to attend.  Then let them know you have dietary restrictions that can be complicated and you’d be happy to make a dish to share that complies with your needs if it’s too much trouble.  If they want to make something you’ll be able to eat, then let them know what you can’t eat.  I think it’s fine if they agree to make something you’ll be able to eat to mention that whatever you’re allergic to is commonly in xyz and that it’s not always obvious.  

Post # 7
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m allergic to tree nuts and peanuts, in the ER visit sort of way. I let the host/hostess know right away, and I usually check beforehand of there’s any risk of cross contamination. I don’t get dessert very often, for that reason. Unfortunately, people who don’t have food allergies don’t always think to check labels (and don’t realize that if something is made on the same line as an allergen, it can trigger a response). If you explain that this isn’t a picky thing, this is something that can make you very ill, people often check. 

Also, I often bring a dish to share that I know is safe, and my own serving utensils. I just make sure to serve myself first, and I know it’s safe. 

Post # 8
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Eribuzz:  This sounds good to me. Just be open about it; greater awareness leads to greater understanding. <br />I’m used to asking about dietary requirements as my mum has Coeliac Disease and salicylate intolerence. Auntie and also best friend is a veggie and have a family member with nut allergy.

Sometimes, my mum has a pre-prepared list to help out. 🙂

Post # 9
1017 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I totally know how you feel. I have a lot of allergies, some very severe. I wouldn’t suggest recipes to the host but you could ask them to save the labels for the foods they use and you can read them when you get there. I do that often because even if the person reads the label, they may miss the ingredient if they are not used to looking for it. The hosts are usually happy when I ask for labels so they don’t have to carry the stress of making sure the food is ok for me.

When I let them know of my allergies they usually ask if there is anything they can make that I can eat and I will say that I can eat fruit, because it’s easy, I don’t want anyone to do any extra work for my food and will just eat a fruit bowl or salad. If you don’t feel comfortable, just eat beforehand and don’t worry about people thinking you are rude. Although I’ve a rare experience and actually got yelled at for not being able to eat the food lol… every other time has been positive because most people are aware allergies exist.

Post # 10
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Unless I was going to literally die if I ate something with my allergen in it, I personally would never ask the hostess to accommodate my food issues. I would eat what I know I could eat. Most parties have a variety of foods you could try.

Post # 11
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would just eat whatever I know is safe and bring a Clif bar to tide me over until I get home. I don’t like making a big deal about food, butI seem to be in the minority there. I assume you’re talking about a wedding or large event though; if it’s just you coming over for dinner, then I would mention it and offer to bring a few dishes yourself so you can make them allergen-free.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 3 months ago by  RunnerBride13.
Post # 12
9548 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would email the host and explain that you have a severe allergy to “X”, so you’re wondering if there will be a meal option that you can eat or if you should bring your own food. For a catered event, most caterers can work with most allergies. For a dinner party, it will depend on the host and situation. I’ve had dinner parties where I’ve altered what I was serving or the recipe to accomodate guests’ allergies. And I’ve also done pot lucks where I just had the guest bring a version of something that they could eat. There are lots of ways to work it out. Just let the host know your situation and be open about finding a solution.

Post # 13
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest

nawella:  Anyone that is saying they wouldn’t say anything, clearly doesn’t have a food related allergy that can end up putting you in serious discomfort for days…

I don’t eat gluten and don’t eat red meat (the meat is by choice). All of my friends know this about me, and generally accomodate… but the way that I got to this point is by speaking up! 

I would chat with the cook/hostess and let them know I was gluten-free, and I also don’t eat red meat. Most people are more than happy to accomodate!

As for the way our friendships work, we will rotate hosting, and it ends up being a “you bring this” situation, where people bring desserts, appetizers and salad. I always bring a salad, and know that I’m safe on my own food. In the worst case scenarios, I end up just eating my own salad for dinner. 

Post # 14
207 posts
Helper bee

lealorali:  That isn’t always true. I have Celiac disase and I am lactose intolerant. Several months ago I paid to go to a dinner and told the woman organizing that I can’t eat gluten, so to please tell the event manager. I have been to the event hall in question before so I know if they know about dietary restrictions in advance they can accomodate them. When I got there I discovered that the woman did not mention it to them because the menu was “Renaisannce inspired so the food was pretty simple.” I asked the waitstaff and the only thing I was able to eat were the carrots and a pear. Everything else had gluten…well the cheese chunks didn’t but they were cheese. Neither of my dietary restrictions would kill me, but the reaction I do have is painful and uncomfortable, not to mention if I eat gluten it damages my bowels. I totally paid $20 to eat carrots.

Post # 15
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

tinapo85:  ugh, yes that does not sound fun…. I’ve heard Celiac’s can be intolerable. 

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