(Closed) How can I tell if I'm good in bed?

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Uhhh, he said “No, you’re actually very good.” You don’t believe him because he looks tired? idgi

Post # 4
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@embarrassed99:  There’s no way for me to know if you’re not good at sex. It’s possible. But it’s apparent that you need to work on your communication with your SO. It’s important that sex is satisfying in ways besides just physically. It seems that being complimented during sex is important to you, and since your SO isn’t doing that for you, you’re not completely satisfied. There are two things you can do: one is to talk to him!!!! Tell him that you want to be complimented. That it is important to you during sex. And say that if there’s nothing in particular he can compliment you on, ask him how you can improve, and don’t let him give you a joking answer. Keep pressing until you get what you want. You have to explain what you want/need. He can’t read your mind. 

Another thing that you can do is OWN IT. Approach sex like you know you’re amazing at it. Be confident and strong and keep telling yourself that you’re totally rocking his world. Try to build your confidence, and maybe even try some new things! It seems as though you need a confidence booster. Have fun with it. It’s sex, it’s supposed to be fun and awesome and a special connection with your man. 

 

Good luck!! 

Post # 5
Member
9115 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’ve never been complimented in bed by anyone. I don’t think I need to compliment my husband. It’s not like we high five and go “That was fantastic!”

If he is satisfied, he’s satisfied, and shouldn’t that mean you’re excellent enough for him?

Post # 8
Member
3256 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Try a little control play, where he gets to tell you what to do, exactly.  He might have no idea what to say at first, but it could help you get an idea what he likes.  Or you could find a game that gets you to try a bunch of different techniques for oral and then he might get a better idea of what he likes and doesn’t like.

One of the things that some women don’t realize is that, for men, if something feels good, you should normally keep doing it exactly the same way unless you get a clear signal that he wants it to change.  It’s different from many women, for whom a continuous action like that would just end up desensitising the stimulated area and leaving you more bored than pleased.

Finally to us “that was good” and “you were good” are the same thing.  So, you can either take that as a compliment, or you can say “does that mean I was good?” after he says “it” was good.  Then he’ll understand that, for you, the two statements are different.

Post # 10
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

i dont think men generally do a post-sex analysis/ mutual appreciation chat. at least with my husband and I it’s a kiss, then we snuggle up and go to sleep. 

i guess if you really need to, you could try asking in a sexy way “do you like it when i_” while doing it. but approaching it like youre quizzing him and asking for tips to improve oral sex technique is probably a bit awkward

i reckon this is partly due to the fact that a lot of men think there are trick questions. you know when women ask if they have a fat ass, and men know that the right answer is ‘no’. he might well assume that the ‘right answer’ is that you cant improve on it and he thinks if he tells you smoething youll get cross

Post # 12
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If he’s not complaining, you’re good Wink

Post # 13
Member
9115 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@embarrassed99:  I wouldn’t worry about it. He keeps having sex with you, he keeps (I assume) orgasming, he keeps coming back for more.

Men are pretty simple creatures. If your vagina is electrically shocking his penis, or if he was so bored with you he could melt into the mattress, he wouldn’t do it.

I think you’re pleasing him just fine.

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