(Closed) How close are you to your in-laws/future in laws?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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halfling:  We’re close in that we hang out with them. But I don’t have much trust in my Mother-In-Law or SIL. They’re both a bit shady and like to talk about others behind their backs to benefit themselves. (Including talking about each other to me). they’re fun to hang out with, we just don’t discuss anything personal etc near them.

Post # 3
Member
3179 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

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halfling:  We are close to his dad and his dad’s girlfriend but his mom, mom’s boy friend not so much. And don’t get me started on his brother and Sister-in-law…

Post # 4
Member
422 posts
Helper bee

I used to think they were absoluting f-ing insane….then our apartment got severly damaged with flooding and mold and we had to move in with them, and now I love them to pieces. 

Post # 5
Member
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Carmen\'s Lakeview

Not as close as I’d like for us to be. They live halfway across the country, so I’ve only met them 3 times. I’m sure it will take time.

However, that being said, my Mother-In-Law has said some pretty harsh things about me at times (That I’m a gold digger, I’m ruining his life, etc. and believe me, I’m not since I’M the one paying for our wedding!) Who knows what will happen…

Post # 6
Member
892 posts
Busy bee

Super close to Future Mother-In-Law. Since Fiance and I are long distance, she lets me stay at her house for extended periods of time whenever I visit and she’s great. She couldn’t be more excited that her son and I are engaged and I’m her favorite of her kids-in-law/potential-kids-in-law and hasn’t hidden it for a second, lol.

Future Sister-In-Law and Future Brother-In-Law are pretty good friends. We’ll hang out and swap stories, but we’re not besties in the way that we tell each other everything or give each other advice on life (yet, at least).

Future Father-In-Law and his wife live in another state, so we rarely get to see them, but they’re nice people (albeit quite weird) and they always offer to pay for us to go visit and stay with them, which I think is super kind and thoughtful because they are making the effort to bond with me and not just spend time with Fiance.

As for extended family: close to FMIL’s side (his only girl cousin is a good friend) and just acquainted with FFIL’s side. 

He’s not very close with any of my family, having met only my nuclear family twice and never my extended family, but they like him and he likes them, so it works. My dad has also said he passes the SIL test, so I guess that’s good!

Post # 7
Member
3562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We are close.  DH’s parents divorced when he was younger, and him and SILs were raised by Father-In-Law, so they are extremely close with Father-In-Law.  SILs were too young to really remember the divorce and grew up being closer to Mother-In-Law than DH was.  DH didn’t really try to develop a good relationship with his mom until he was in his 20s, we were together and I encouraged him to develop that relationship with her and forgive her for the past, which I’m sure Mother-In-Law knows this.  She’s always accepted me, and I’ve never had an issue with her. 

We actually bought a house that is within walking distance of Father-In-Law.  He lives alone and while we didn’t purposely seek out a house that close to him, it works out well as he is very understanding of boundaries (ie. he doesn’t come over every single day).  He also comes over and cuts our grass for us, loves to cook out and feed us, and will take care of our pets while we’re away. 

I have 2 SILs, we are extremely close.  I never had a sister, and they both treat me like a sister.

I am extremely lucky to not have all the in-law drama I have seen up here and heard about from friends dealing with their in-laws.  

Post # 8
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

They are great, they do baby my husband but as a mother myself I understand. They always tell my husband how lucky he is to have me in his life

Post # 9
Member
5152 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

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halfling:  I’m very friendly and get along well with my ILs. I wouldnt say I’m “close” in that I call them daily or text them (unless its my Mother-In-Law – we talk about shows we both watch). There are some dynamics in the family that I try to stay out of (both parents enable SIL and need to stop) but overall, I like my ILs a lot. I do think my Mother-In-Law guilts her kids into doing things and can be very, very pushy about things but she’s never been anything but nice to me.

Post # 10
Member
4520 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Fiance is super close to his parents, so we see them a lot, although of course less now than when he lived with them until recently. I love that they raised a great son and care about both of us, but I don’t always enjoy their company.

Post # 11
Member
3031 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

My future sister-in-law is one of my best friends, we hang out pretty regularly even without my Fiance. It used to be weekly before she had baby, so now it’s more like monthly.

I see my brother’s wife a little less, but we talk on facebook all the time too. 

We all live pretty close though. We live about 15 mins from FI’s sister. About 35 mins from each of our parents and my brother’s family. 

Post # 12
Member
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I loved my in-laws since the first day I met them, so I would definitely consider myself close to them.  Even though they live several states away, DH and I Skype with them once every week or two, which is how often we see my parents who live nearby. We don’t talk to DH’s brother as often but we’re close to him as well.  

Growing up an only child, I always wanted a sibling and on the evening of our wedding, Brother-In-Law posted a selfie of us with the caption, “My sister”.  I was really touched by that and it’s one of my favorite wedding photos!

 

Post # 13
Member
3607 posts
Sugar bee

Fiance and I each have our parents and one brother. I’m very close to my own family but not at all close with his family. It might be different if he had a sister instead of a brother, since I’ve always wanted a sister and would have taken the opportunity to become close to a Future Sister-In-Law. We also live far away from his family geographically, so I haven’t had many opportunities to hang out with them on a casual basis and become close. IDK…my relationship with them might become closer once Fiance and I are married and have kids, which will probably cause his parents to visit us more often, but I’m not actively seeking closeness with them.

Post # 14
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Fi and I both got REALLY blessed because both of our parents are still together and it makes it a lot easier for us to bond with all parties. I’m VERY close with Future Sister-In-Law. We talk almost daily texting back and forth because we both have a shared love of baking and her two daughters are OBSESSED with me so I spend a lot of time at their house with the kids just hanging out while Fi and Future Brother-In-Law workout. Fi is extremely close to my dad and brother but I think that’s because they all work together (dad owns business and fi and my brother pretty much run things) so they always have something to talk about. Fi bonds really well with both of them for which I am so grateful! I’m close to Fi’s parents because we do brunch every sunday with them and text occasionally but we aren’t like besties or anything but overall we all have really healthy relationships.

I am sooooo grateful for this. When I was previously engaged the guy didn’t get along with my family AT ALL and his mom was a living hell and if I never had to see I would have been happy with that so I guess it’s a really big blessing I didn’t end up with him.

Post # 15
Member
297 posts
Helper bee

Very close.. and after being a relationship where there was no relationship with IL’s at all, I am so thankful to now be a part of his family. My family isn’t really into get togethers or celebrating big holidays, so it was very important to me to find someone who could fill that void. I love them.

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