(Closed) How close are you to your in-laws/future in laws?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 16
Member
5362 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

We have a very unique situation.

I’ve lost both of my parents and don’t have any living family. My 8th grade teacher is like my mom. Her and my Fiance are really close. She is also close with FI’s stepdad and family.

Fiance has lost his mom. He is super close to his stepdad and his stepdad has since remarried. His stepdad’s wife is only 11 years older than me and Fiance so she is like my older sister I never had instead of a Future Mother-In-Law. They also have a 3.5 year old daughter and we are really close to her. Fiance and his biological dad aren’t really close and don’t talk all that often. His stepmom died a couple of years ago, and since she has passed we all get along much better. His dad has remarried and we like her just fine, she’s a lot nicer than his stepmom was. We get along fine when we are around each other. Fiance has 3 sisters that live with his dad. We don’t see them that much, but we get along great. Two of the girls are twins, and when I travel with them they think we are triplets haha. 

I’m very thankful for them because they are the only family I have. None of us may be blood related, but we are all a big, weird family. I really feel like I lucked out when I read these horror stories. Although I wish Fiance could’ve met my parents and I met his mom, we will never have to deal with the crazy in law situation. 

Post # 17
Member
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

None of our family lives in our city. Essentially all of my family lives in my hometown 400 miles away, DH’s parents, and oldest brother, SIL, and niece live 3000 miles away, and other brother, SIL, and niece live just as far from us as my family. His extended family is all over.

I feel very lucky because I love all my IL’s, they’re not perfect, but they’re good people. But sometimes you’re not lucky enough to fall in love with someone with a great family, and that’s life.

Post # 18
Member
836 posts
Busy bee

I’m close with them. Like all parents, though, there are things they do that get on my nerves, but I love them. I think as I’ve gotten older (we started dating when I was 19) our relationship has grown into an adult/friend relationship vs. a parent/child one which I appreciate much more and is a lot easier for me to deal with.

Post # 19
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

View original reply
halfling:  I am very close to my fil’s. I spend a lot of time with them. In fact we are having my son’s first b-day party at my fmil’s house.

Post # 20
Member
4055 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
halfling:  I love my Future Father-In-Law. My Future Mother-In-Law, on the other hand…lets just say I could live without her.

Post # 21
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I am not close to either side of his family at all. He’s not even close to them. His family is quite broken and toxic in my opinion. In terms of his folks (who aren’t together), I don’t have have a relationship with them…just a “Hi. How are you?” type of thing. His dad doesn’t even invite us in when we go to visit him. We just stand outside and talk to him.  His mother didn’t even go to our wedding as she doesn’t like to leave her house unattended. Lol. It’s really sad as it is not what I envisioned in relation to in-laws but it is what it is. It also makes me even more grateful that I have an amazing family. He has a couple of cousins we get along well with and have gotten to know better though. We even stayed with one when we traveled.

He’s close to both sides of my family though…especially my folks!

Post # 22
Member
49 posts
Newbee

i love my miL to pieces we had a connection since day one and when first met it was arounfd christmas and i was invited to christmas dinner I wasnt looking for a gift or was i there to exchange gifts with the family cause i just met them a week prior and my mother in law bought me a very nice christmas gift i would change my mother in law for the world

Post # 23
Member
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

My family: I lost both of my parents at age 9. I still have my step-dad (lil sis’ dad) & he’s awesoooome. It’s just my granny, lil sis, and me. We hang out with our dad on the weekends since he’s always working. My granny is everything & raised my sis & me after our mom was murdered. I love her to bits! There aren’t words to describe how much I appreciate her. My lil sis [19] & I are best friends. I have a few half-brothers (dad’s side) but we aren’t as close as we used to be.

My FI’s family: He is the youngest of 4 brothers. His parents divorced when he was 18. His mom remarried. His mom, step-dad, and dad all get along great. We all even go to church every Sunday together and have lunch. Everyone is at all family gatherings together & it’s always a blast. All of the brothers are engaged except for 1, but he’s in a LTR.

My family is loving & affectionate. Fiance has a very loving family & I couldn’t have prayed more a better family to marry into.

His relationship with my family: my granny sometimes calls my phone looking for him if she couldn’t reach him on his own -_- she loves her “grandson”. My sis adores my Fiance & she learns a lot from him. My step-dad treats him as a son & couldn’t be more excited that I marry him. FI grew & my oldest bro were childhood friends & played ball in H.S. together [I had no clue until later “introducing” them] but my big bro approves & is happy for me. He “freakin loves [my] family”

My relationship with his family: I’m closer to his 3 bros than I am some of my own. I’m his mom’s “pop tart”. My cuppy cake spoils me & I’m her fav FDIL. We hang out, go shopping, talk on the phone for hours, pray together, and she always provides an encouraging word if I’m having a crappy day. We’re so close that I can randomly call her up about a heavy menstrual flow. She even came by once to rub my tummy, make a heating pad, & cook for me lol

All together we go bowling and occasionally go out for dinner or lunch. Everyone gets on great.

Post # 24
Member
4233 posts
Honey bee

 

Extremely. Like, I doubt they’d pick him over me, given the choice. LOL

Post # 25
Member
860 posts
Busy bee

My mother in law is a skanky shanky hoe. As someone who also dabbles in being a skanky hoe, we get along get. We trade crazy sex stories and talk about boys. I love and adore my sils, but they’re preteens, so we’re not super close. Hopefully when they get older. My fil Is a horrible person and we Have no relationship with him. So kinda all over the board.

Post # 26
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I would say we are pretty close. After seeing some of the horror stories here on the bee about in-laws, I have to say I am really lucky. I text his mom occasioanlly, and his dad may stop by to drop something off and if my Fiance is not home, we will chat. My birthday was last week and we had a dinner planned. My Fiance was sick with strep and I went to dinner with them and had a nice time. 

Post # 27
Member
944 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

DH and I go to his parents at least once a week; his mom watches our baby once a week. We usually eat dinner there with them too and get to visit with his younger siblings. He has a large family (he’s the middle of 7 kids).

We see the younger kids and are close to them; up to date on their school and sports activities. His older sister I talk to regularly and LOVE her to pieces and get along great. It hasn’t always been that way but it’s been amazing the last few years! His next older sibling we see a few times a week. Although he is immature for his age, we love him and would still do anything for him. His oldest brother is very strong headed and a bit of an ass, also lives in another state. dh talks to him every couple months, but that’s it. Haven’t seen him in over a year and he makes no effort to talk to us. There never really was a falling out and nothing major has happened, I think it’s just BIL’s personality. 

Post # 28
Member
7890 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We get along fine. DH’s parents live out of the country right now, so we don’t see them very much. They also tend to be more hands off but still loving, so that suits us well. One of his sisters lives in the next state over, so we visited her family once last year. The other sister lives several states over and has a busy job, so I’ve still never met her. I think DH comes from a very reasonable family, so I consider myself quite lucky (knock on wood). 

 

Post # 29
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee

His parents are THE nicest people in the world, same as his sister, but we just aren’t close. At all. We live (literally) right next to them but never see them. They never come over here and we don’t go there (I have really bad social anxiety) yet Fiance considers himself really close to them.

And Fiance has met my dad once, and never met my mom or sister. 

Post # 30
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Not close at all, and I don’t want to be.  I find them typical ‘little Englanders’ with narrow minded views, especially Future Father-In-Law.  As a divorced Catholic foreigner, I’m about the last person they would have wanted to see their son with.

Fiance has never met my mother and probably never will.  That suits me fine.  I don’t set much store by ‘family’.

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