(Closed) How close does a friend have to be to invite them to wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My SO and I have a similar small wedding of around 100 people. We had less spots to fill for friends than you do, but since we are both introverted people we decided to put it at this little rule of thumb, “if you haven’t spoken to them, or they haven’t spoken to you in the past 6 months to a year, then don’t invite them.” This helped us keep our guest list small and sweet with only the most important people with us to celebrate our special day.

Post # 5
Member
3261 posts
Sugar bee

I think you would use your own judgement on that. If you want them there to celebrate your day with you, by all means, invite them. 

Post # 6
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Our guidelines were this”

Friends within a 1 hour drive: If we haven’t hung out with them in the last 6 months, no invite

Out of Town friends: If we don’t communicate at least once every other month, no invite

 

We wanted an exlclusive list of our biggest cheerleaders who love us and will be there to support us when times are hard. We had a wedding to make those huge promises in front of the people who will hold us accountable and help us succeed. Acquaintances, as nice as they are, just aren’t those people for us.

Post # 7
Member
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

This sounds just like us, too!  We’re working with the “if we don’t actually see them or talk to them regularly” guideline as well.  Also, I’m having a hard time getting Fiance to see that JUST because we went to someone else’s wedding DOES NOT mean we have to invite them to ours!  Something that I realized that has really helped me is this: feelings of obligation aside, will it make OUR DAY any more special or meaningful if “X” is there?  Would we be disappointed if they RSVP’d no?  <—those 2 questions have helped us with the guestlist.  Good luck! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
4663 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

6 months is a good guideline I think, as others mentioned above.

Post # 9
Member
4478 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

6 months guideline is good.  Also, consider:

When you have a party, get together, etc., who shows up?  And who at least lets you know they can’t come?

 

When your friends have events, how often do you get invited?

 

These are usually good indicators of who cares enough about you to include you, and who cares about you enough to want to be included in your life.

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