Post # 1
I am getting married in June and am finishing up my guest list. I’m having a smaller wedding of about 100 people. I’ve invited all of mine and FI’s family members and now we are adding friends. We have about 30 spots available for friends, which you would think would be easy to fill. However, Fiance and I are both introverted people, so we each have just a few close friends and most of the people we know are acquaintances. My question is how close does a friend have to be to invite them to your wedding? We want to fill the spots and have a decent number of young people to dance and celebrate with us. But, is it weird to invite someone who you only speak to on occasion? How do you know who is expecting an invite and who would appreciate getting one?
Post # 3
My SO and I have a similar small wedding of around 100 people. We had less spots to fill for friends than you do, but since we are both introverted people we decided to put it at this little rule of thumb, “if you haven’t spoken to them, or they haven’t spoken to you in the past 6 months to a year, then don’t invite them.” This helped us keep our guest list small and sweet with only the most important people with us to celebrate our special day.
Post # 4
@miss.wiggums: I like the 6 months to a year rule. That makes a lot of sense when trying to tell who you are actually close to.
Post # 5
I think you would use your own judgement on that. If you want them there to celebrate your day with you, by all means, invite them.
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
Our guidelines were this”
Friends within a 1 hour drive: If we haven’t hung out with them in the last 6 months, no invite
Out of Town friends: If we don’t communicate at least once every other month, no invite
We wanted an exlclusive list of our biggest cheerleaders who love us and will be there to support us when times are hard. We had a wedding to make those huge promises in front of the people who will hold us accountable and help us succeed. Acquaintances, as nice as they are, just aren’t those people for us.
Post # 7
This sounds just like us, too! We’re working with the “if we don’t actually see them or talk to them regularly” guideline as well. Also, I’m having a hard time getting Fiance to see that JUST because we went to someone else’s wedding DOES NOT mean we have to invite them to ours! Something that I realized that has really helped me is this: feelings of obligation aside, will it make OUR DAY any more special or meaningful if “X” is there? Would we be disappointed if they RSVP’d no? <—those 2 questions have helped us with the guestlist. Good luck! 🙂
Post # 8
6 months is a good guideline I think, as others mentioned above.
Post # 9
6 months guideline is good. Also, consider:
When you have a party, get together, etc., who shows up? And who at least lets you know they can’t come?
When your friends have events, how often do you get invited?
These are usually good indicators of who cares enough about you to include you, and who cares about you enough to want to be included in your life.