(Closed) How close is too close (date wise)?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I don’t think it’s rude in regards to your fiances brother. Like most bees, I think you get one day. That’s it! Anything else is fair game. 

However, I would be concerned about the out of state guests. I don’t think most people could afford the money or time off to attend two out of state weddings within the span of 2 months or so. So I think your attendance could definitely be impacted.

Post # 3
Member
3584 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with the PP. It’s not rude but i would consider the out of town guest. If they all lived in town i would say go for it. Im the end you only get one day but you are taking a chance that some guest may not show up. You cant push it back another month or so? It’s not postponing it to much

Post # 4
Member
953 posts
Busy bee

Ya honestly I’d push it too mid winter or even spring. Just on account of the out of towners.   Is it that imperative or can you wait it out a few months more?

Post # 5
Member
619 posts
Busy bee

Congrats on the engagement! I don’t think there is a magic timeframe, but I think it’s considerate to give an immediate family members a month for themselves. If they have decided on a September 5th date, maybe try for an October date? I know you get one day, but DH’s cousin went for the weekend before us and it really took the wind out of my sails. Just my opinion. Wishing you lots of luck and fun planning! 

Post # 6
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I have been engaged 4 months longer than my sister and she just announced she is getting married a month after me. I am fine with it, fall worked best for both of us! We also have family that is going to have to travel, but you also can’t take everyone’s needs into consideration or you will never find a date that fits best for you. I think a month in between is considerate and completely doable! 

Post # 7
Member
4499 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It’s totally fine — you gotta do what works for you. In my family, 4 of my siblings got married within 5 months, believe it or not. They all had weddings that were well-attended. 

Post # 8
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee

i would allow a little space in between weddings.  one of you may loose out on some of the out of town guests, but its really what works for you.

Post # 9
Hostess
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My FIs cousin (basically his sister) recently booked her wedding for 3 weeks before ours. Our stag and doe is also the week after her wedding. 3 weeks apart is definitley do-able, however I do feel guilty and upset about the financial burden it will place on FIs very large family, especially the elderly members on fixed incomes. I would have changed ours to a later date after finding out hers, but I have family coming from New Zealand who have booked flights already. 3 events under one month apart gets tricky lol..

I’d say just sit down with them and discuss dates!! 🙂 Having a convo with them is the best way to ensure no toes are stepped on. I also think you need to leave atleast one month in between, so the out of town guests would be more likely to afford it!

Post # 10
Member
9164 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

If your FI’s parents are offering to pay for part of both of your weddings then I think a discussion is in order just to make sure no undue financial pressure is put on them.

As for the out of state guests I think it depend on how important they are to your Fiance to have them there. If you have them close together then both sides (FI & his brother) will need to lower their expectations of those guests because chances are they may have to pick one wedding or the other.

Post # 11
Member
1133 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Fiance and I are getting married 6 weeks after his brother, and we have Out of Town guests (as far as Ireland), but they are all immediate/close family who said they will attend both (plus ours falls on a holiday weekend for the American guests).  If you don’t mind that some guests won’t be able to show, I say go for it. 

Post # 12
Member
23 posts
Newbee

View original reply
PurpleSkyLine: I had a similar issue.  My fiance proposed to me two weeks before my brother planned to propose to his fiancee, unknowingly of course.  My family actually had the guts to ask me to hide my engagement so my brother (“the favorite”) could have the whole spotlight.  We did not hide our engagement, of course.  And it turns out we will be married first, too.  Anyways, what I have learned through all of the drama of planning two weddings in the same family is: your family members (and friends) who love you will view your wedding as being unique and 100% about you.  The importance and excitement of seeing you get married will not decrease just because another wedding happened recently in the same area.  The two are not related, and your family members will happily make it out there again.  There may be some groaning behind closed doors that they have to travel again, but don’t let it get to you.  It’s your wedding – choose the time that’s best for the two of you.  Congratulations and good luck!

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