(Closed) How close is too close to a wedding to get engaged? LONG

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would say after just to be safe…but as long as it’s after, it doesn’t matter if it’s a day or a week. You can bend to her will a little but don’t compromise everything!

Post # 4
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I can never understand why people are hesitant to get engaged or married around someone else’s “big day.” It’s just a wedding! What does you getting engaged have to do with their wedding IN 5 WEEKS? My wedding is next year and I couldn’t care less if someone got engaged every week until then. What’s next, telling people they can’t get pregnant because you’re pregnant???


Get engaged now. 

Post # 5
4360 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

What’s another 6 weeks? Wait until after. Avoid the drama.

Post # 6
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would do it now.  Why put your plans on hold?

Post # 7
3267 posts
Sugar bee

The only time you shouldn’t get engaged is AT someone elses wedding. 

I do think that you shouldn’t be overly attention seeking about it.  And if people are asking questions at her parties like rehersal dinner or something, it would be gracious to answer quickly, but then tell them that you don’t want to steal bride’s thunder. 

Then you get to be engaged, and people will think you are so considerate for not wanting to steal brides thunder.

Post # 8
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Get engaged now or next week, but not too close to your brother’s wedding.

Post # 9
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

That’s just what I was going to say.  As long as you don’t do it AT their wedding (or announce it at their wedding), it’s not a big deal.

Post # 10
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Normally i would say ummm they get one day, and it seems like you agree with that but realize that this bride is an exception to that rule…. If you truly think it’s best to wait until after because 5 weeks is too soon, I’d say do that. It’s really unfair that you have to, but it’s great that you don’t want to cause any problems especially for your brother. 

Post # 11
1144 posts
Bumble bee

I got engaged a week or 2 before a friend’s wedding. I didn’t steal the spotlight or anything, it was just a matter of timing. I feel like the only time it’s inappropriate is if he does it at a wedding related event or the wedding itself.

However, if you feel uncomfortable, I’d wait it out.

Post # 12
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think it’s very thoughtful of you to consider your brother’s wedding in all of this. But I think you and your SO should get engaged when the time is right for you two. If you’re worried about stealing the spotlight I would suggest leaving the new sparkling ering at home during your brother’s wedding.

Post # 14
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If waiting till after is stll going to be an attention grab in their eyes then do it now. You have nothing to gain by waiting, it will still be considered offside by her family.


Do it now and then as PP mentioned be very low key about it and deflect attention back to the bride.

Post # 15
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

just get engaged. you shouldn’t have to put your life on hold. Just keep it low key and like a pp said, as long as it’s not AT their wedding (or any other wedding related event) you should be fine.

Post # 16
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@beccybaby:  The rule of thumb I told my thunder stealing Future Sister-In-Law, is that if you get engaged before the wedding, will you have a chance to see all your friends and family (who will be at the wedding), before the wedding?

 If you’ll see them before, and have a chance to show off the ring, tell the story etc. Then you should be okay….

If you wont see every, single person before… then wait. Their wedding day is NOT the time to be showing off your engagement ring, or telling people the story of how it happened.

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